quote:

Originally posted by Stephanee:
[qb]I have so-o much to say on this subject, it is unreal! I understand completely where you are coming from, but first I want to say this: I understand your concern for keeping her father away. However (from experience) it is best to let their relationship to take its course. I know this goes against what your heart has to say, but trust me. In the end, she will respect you for letting her have somewhat of a relationship with her father, even if it is terrible. After my mother passed away (I was 6) my family prevented my father from seeing me and my sisters. He was finally allowed to see me when I was 13, and I moved in with him for a year. We hated each other! But as I got older, I learned how to love him and now that he has passed away, I am glad I got the chance to know him, even if I only got a few years with him. I resented my family for a long time for keeping him from me. Anyway, I know it sucks, I really do. My youngest baby's father is a complete jerk. He wants to be involved, but he is so inconsistent that I resent him being around. However, I allow it because he is the father. I pray that Derrick does not hurt Riley's feeling when he is older. And I know that if he does, I will be there waiting with open arms. And my son will know that I am there to support him no matter what. I know how you are feeling. I am there now. But sometimes, it is best, in the long run, to not be a 'dictator' and just be a mommy who is supportive of your kids. I know that by you trying to protect your baby it feels as if you are being supportive. But you can't be there to protect your child from all of the hurt in the world. Your baby will grow up to be a free-thinking child who will notice that daddy is not around. And when that free-thinking child turns into a teenager and adult, she may end up blaming you for her father not being around...even when we both know the father problaby is not going to be around with or without your help.
In the end, she will understand that he is not a positve person to be around, if you give her a chance. But telling her is not going to teach her. She has to experience it first hand before she can ever comprehend it. She may spend too much time wondering, "What if Mom was wrong..."

Anyway, I know this is so long-winded...But as far as her family goes--I have more to say on that too if you want my advice...just ask. Once again, I am going through that right now as we speak, and my baby is 9 months old.

Either way, Good Luck and know that no matter what you deciede, it is not going to be easy!

With Love,
Stephanee[/qb]