As I posted in my "back to court" post, on Thurs. the court gave it to my ex. Per the therapist, since then he has been a "broken man." Depressed, almost suicidal. Not being able to eat or go to work. Last night he called me, and thanked me for giving birth to our daughter. That she is his life, and that wouldnt have happened if it werent for me. He realizes that he has a lot of anger that he has to let go. He even called my father and apologized to him. We went to meet with the therapist this morning, and he seemed quite sincere. He says he's been fighting me for 5 years, and is tired of it. He asked if we could leave the schedule the way it is.(in court they gave him 3 weekends a month.)I like the schedule the way it is, and I know my daughter is used to it. Its fair. I think a lot of her anxiety will be resolved if he and I really do get along. I agreed to leave it the way it is. Now, after talking to some of my friends, I dont know if I've done the right thing. He's done this to me before, acted like he's going to be civil, and then 3 days later, its back to the way it was. How could I be fooled so easily? I hope he is sincere. He just knows that he was about to loose custody of her, and he better be nice to me. I should have made him suffer a little for all the trouble he's caused. We have to go back in Jan. and now I keep thinking that as soon as we go back he is going to go back to his old self again. I have always offered the olive branch and I hope to god that its not going to snap back in my face as it has in the past. I have a feeling that this time its for real and I always say to myself to trust my gut. I have also prayed for him that the big frying pan in the sky knock some sense into him. Do you think that the shock of what happened, and him crying for the past three days could really have knocked some sense into him? I hope I dont have s*u*cker written all over my forehead.

Your ex and my ex have a lot in commmon. I think it is easy to get sucked in because we are hoping that the niceness is true, and that part of us keeps us believing them each time just to be reminded "3 days later" what they are about. All you can do is do what is best for your child, and leave out how he is acting. If it benefits the child the comply with his request, if it doesn't don't. Good luck to you

Sane your ex is among the scariest ex's

He unstable mental condition, and wacked out behaviour freak me out.

I truly hope this is a new leaf and that he is going to try to make this work right.

Hi Sane, I'm pretty much with Harmony on this one where your ex is concerned, following your story for a while now. Just be watchful and patient, take your time making any decisions based on how he's behaving at the moment. It's nice to look and hope for a glimmer of real change, but real change is proven over time. Sure would be nice to hear this works out though.

Hi Sane,
I think that all you can do is go with your gut for the time being but just keep some strength in reserve in case he disappoints you. I know you have always tried to make things right between you for your daughter’s sake and maybe this one time he has finally figured that out. I so hope that he is starting to put his child first
Kia Kaha

Hey Sane. I agree with the above in addition too you could always tell him in a nice way that for you to believe and have faith in him he has to change his track record. If he is sincere he will understand and do his best. Even doing his best he will have his slips. Just keep in mind if he is not sincere it will bring his old self back a little faster.
I wish you the best.
God bless.

HI, and thanks for your replies. Thats my thinking, Butterflykb. I'm doing it because my daughter will benefit from it. I was telling her about it last night, and she goes, "Congratulations." Ha ha. Harmony, wow. I didnt know you think he is the scariest. Thats what scares me, he has been manipulative before. He did admit that he was trying to exclude me from her life, and that he's finally realized that I am her mother. He could accept it, or keep on fighting. He says that he's wasted 5 years on fighting instead of working on himself to be the person he should be. Did I tell you that he even called my dad and apologized to him?!?
I dont know. I told my b/f that there were times in my life where I turned over a new leaf, and wanted people to believe me. What if I was never given a chance? But I gave to much to fast to him I think. My friend said I should have given a little at a time, to see how sincere he is. Life isnt easy is it? We met with the therapist, and he shook my hand. Said, "We can do this."
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I know I can do this here. I havent told everyone in my life because I feel like their going to rake me over the coals.

Hi my problem is i put two years into a relationship with i man i thought loveD me i had a child for him and he kicked me out i tried to turn the other cheek to the fact that i may end up a single mother but it all happen in the blink of a eye i dealt with trying to kick my door in not wanting to leave the property and much more and all i ask for was the ring and the family and what did i get in return he calls and tells me he has a new girlfriend i have had to put up with the colds the teething and he is have the time of his life while i a 21 yr old woman sit at home i love my son but i need a well deserved break before i crack i sit here crying just trying to get thru typing this message every one says that your knight in shining armor will come but i feel like i will never be happy my son's father is a man that if i want the family life i have to take him as the abuser and the controller he has had nothing to do with westley since he found out i was preganant two years ago i want the warmth of a friend a love some on who cares but is not happening i try to look on the bright side but what is that when the pain hides right behind it he pays child support but that is only to rent his son for a couple of hours at the local McDonalds he feels like he is the victim and i am the villian i had to pull my self up by the boot straps just to stop my self from hurt to make it thru my preganancy i am a smart person but i am the one who has to make ends meet to have food on the table for my son while he figures out what outfit goes with his jordans i cry at the thought that this could be the end of me i look for jobs no luck i try to get back in to school to have more than a high school education but the money to go is the money me and my baby need to survive so i am stuck trying to find a working a flip burgers job is not fair that the bulk off the work is on me i am unhappy depressed and trying to smile for the sake of my son but every pot has to boil under pressure and i think this is my pressure i do not know what to do any more i can not sleep i eat my self out of house and home to take away the pain i have no other choice it's either take the hurt and the pain for the sake of my child or turn my back and then westley will have no one PLEASE HELP ME I AT THE END OF MY ROPE

Welcome to the forum westleysmom. This is a great place with wonderful people to listen to you vent (which in and of itself often helps), and people who have been in or are still in your shoes. You are not alone I guess is what I'm saying, and we all help each other get by the hard times and share the good times as well.
You don't really want to put your email addy into public forum though. People can reply with advice in the threads you post in, and if you stick around and participate, you'll also have the ability to use private messaging with members as well.
Hang in there, there may not be a knight in shining armor right around the corner, but it will get better.....

thanks for the message i am new so i did not know that emails do not have to be put on there sorry i am doing better today just taking it one step at a time


Westley is turing two on thankgiving