Okay, so I didn't pick up the phone Saturday evening when DH called. I heard it, was exhusted and after tending all day to a sick child, was just not in the mood for his **** at the moment. I skipped his call and went to bed early.

I called him back on Sunday. He never picked up the phone.

H never called to check on his child, he never returned my phone call. The house could have burnt down, he would have not cared.

He called me this morning only after I threatened to call his command if he didn't knock out this disappearing acts out.

I asked him where he was on Sunday. He tends to disappear to party, relax, sleep, go shopping, hang out with friends etc. This is what he told me that caused me to blow the heck up to screaming like a dork infront of the library on campus this morning....

He told me because when I talked to him on Saturday when I finally got a hold of him, I got mad at him about not returning my phone calls for 8 days.

He said that because I knew he was calling there and I didn't pick up the phone, Sunday phone calls were unanswered because he was punishing me because I did not pick up one time.

Really?!? I was wrong, had to be punished, I as he said "I should pick up the phone when he calls me." How controlling is that and doesn't the road go both ways?

I feel like I was knocked down again. Everytime I feel like things are going my way, he knows the words and the way to say them to belittle me.

Can we say $#@*&@%#$????

I'm sorry you're going through a hard time.

Let me tell you about what I know about someone going through PTSD. I dated a semi retired officer over a decade ago who went to Rowanda. I can't imagine what it was like over there except the movie Hotel Rowanda was incredibly shocking and almost unbelievable. Before the assignment he had a beautiful house in the palisade and children going to an excellent private school. Afterwards, he couldn't function... lost his house, dwindled his savings and basically left his wife and children on the streets. He was near retirement and his net worth was $0. His wife divorced him to save her family... she had to rebuild with $0 in her 40s.

He did try to seek treatment.. but I'm convinced when someone experiences danger, death, and horrific events.. they are never quite the same afterwards.

I think he cares deeply ... he probably needs to feel detached from the things he loves. By pushing him to do things he may not be ready for may build up resentment towards you and his children. Have you tried to seek counseling yourself? I know many families affected by the Gulf War recieved counseling to deal with family issues they were experiencing.