I am new, and am happy I found this "place"
Okay, I divorced 5 yrs. ago pretty amicably
I have 1 daughter, my ex and us spent b-days holidays, together after the divorce for about 3 yrs. then he started cancelling plans, picking fights, making excuses why he couldn't see her. Is completely unsupportive, emotionally and physically for her. They use dto be very close and it's killing her. I have to constantly, "clean up" after him hurting her making promises he doesn't keep etc... When he left I got a 2nd job so I could buy a house to give her stability, I am ultra responsible, any time I call him to make a plea, to take interest, or responsibility for her all he does is cut me down and tell me my house is a total mess I'm ruining her life because my house isn't picture ready???? Please!! My life revolves around her, I know it's not healthy but I am trying to make up for his abcsence. I agree my house is a bit cluttered. I have had a phone turned on in my name for him (so he could talk to her and he ran out on the bill when the company started calling me about it he said it was in my name and my problem. I loaned him over 2400.00 to help him out, offered my old car to him for nothing, he was too good to drive a wagon, helped him move to 2 new apartments(friends were too busy). He complains about the child support he pays, says I don't need it, his daughter is in various clubs, won many achievement awards, on honor roll, well taken care of, did the counseling thing, he has no responsibility for her!!When I call him for help( teenager issues) he says it's your problem I don't have time to deal with it. HELP I want to cut him off completely.

hi there, I just read your post and I feel that you are a lot like me. That is why I wanted to comment on this issue. It seems as though you are taking care of two children. My opinion is to cut him comletely off. If he wants to see her he does. If he doesn't he doesn't. she will eventually realize that he has never been there for her, children are very smart that way. Why should you be burdened with his crap and helping him out when he does nothing for u and your daughter. If you just let him go you will feel so much better. He is jealous of your lifestyle and will knock you down anyway he can because he feels that makes him feel strong and secure in his manhood. But guess what he really knows it doesn't and when you finally cut ties he will seriously see what he lost and I would take the child support. He made the child he has to own up to responsibilty. DON'T feel sorry for him because that is what he is trying to do and you will be the one that loses. I was in the similar situation and he sucked me dry and he has come to see my daughter only a handful of times. I want him out and as soon as the court is overwith he will never see her again. That is just my opinion.

crazyladi

Nicki's Mom--

Just do it--Quit trying to 'help' him, because it isn't helping him or your situation ANY. The only person it is helping is your daughter, who sees you as her true advocate. But seriously, enough is enough. Try some tough love on him...make him realize that he is hurting several people, but the most important person he is hurting is your daughter. I bet he sees the situation as YOU are the only one who is suffering, bending over backwards, running overtime to help him...and he probalby takes a great deal of pleasure in hurting you. Quit while you can--let him see you and your daughter live a 'carefree' live without his added stress and then soon he will realize how empty he is without his daughter!

TRUST ME! I have been there--and I did exactly what I said to do, and he quit his nonsense talk about giving up his rights and he now sees his daughter on a regular basis!

Much Love,
Stephanee