he no longer cares to see the children. Before he married I thought she was nice. I had no problem with any of it and I'm not childish or jealous like that.

However, sweet as she was before she ran off and married in a court house because they were pregnant, after they married she seems to have a million reasons why the children are just not scheduled in. It's because she cannot handle the fact that her husband was in a relationship where he once was in love with another woman and who shared sleeping with and making love with another woman. When she sees the children she knows her husband will be dealing with the ex wife, me, and since I have not let myself go and have been nothing but nice, I believe she is simply immature and jealous. She couldn't handle the fact that I've never been a snotty or trouble making ex wife either. That surprised her too. I'm sure he told her at first that I was horrible, mean, a troll, and all of that, but what she found out for herself was that I was simply a nice person and not at all let myself go. Whatever.

It amazes me that a parent can turn their back on their own children, flesh and blood, and still be able to look at themselves in the mirror. Go figure. He's her headache now and she's his. I've heard how she will talk to him and it's embarrassing. I say to myself, 'I married him????????? Nowonder I left him, scary as it was."

I'm still finding so much out about myself. I like me. I love my children. I love them more then life. I like knowing someone isn't going to insult me if I make a mistake any further. I like not wondering if he's cheating while on a business trip because he doesn't answer the phone late at night to his room. Something I know for a fact is that he didn't realize how wonderful he had it and what a truly lovely wife he had and always took for granted until he messed up one far too many times and I had enough.

He doesn't even want to pay child support and you should see how he lives high on the hog. How can he actually like himself? Does he really think he's a good person? Does she really respect a man who would turn his back on his own children? I'd never respect, let alone trust anyone like that.

I'm just glad that I'm doing and continuing to do all I can to keep bettering myself and moving along going forward. I do all I can to stay positive, think positive, stay focused. I love my children and I'd crawl across crushed glass for them but for the life of me, how can a person turn their back on their children year after year and like who they are? His loss. I don't often think of it but once in a while it creeps in because it has caused a hurt for the children that come about and surface once in a while, but not as often as it once did.

Just thought I would share a little.

hi i'm michelle. i'm nineteen and 20 weeks pregnant and can somewhat relate with your situation. when i met my boyfriend he told me he had been divorced for a year. come to find out, he was only recently separated. his wife left him and his five-year old daughter a week before christmas and cleaned out there bank account. nice mom huh? anyways, his daughter is his life and she's very special to me - i would never want him to lose her. when he found out that i was pregnant he was worried that the baby would cause him to lose his daughter when the custody battle came around. (once his wife found out about me, she decided to try to win their daughter from him out of spite). anyways, he's gone back and forth about whether he wants the baby or not. he's verbally abusive and seems to hide alot from me, but i wanted to make it work for the child. however, eventually the stress of dealing with him was getting unhealthy for me. i told him i didn't think we should see each other anymore but that if he wanted to hear about the baby, feel free to call. that was three weeks ago and i haven't heard from him since. i just don't understand it. i've heard him cry on the phone to his wife, begging her to act like a mother to his daughter. how can he turn around and do the same exact thing to this child? he actually had the nerve to tell me that if the child asks where his father is tell him that he died. what kind of person says something like that? i know in the long run it will be his loss - i love my baby already, you know? i just wish he/she would have a father to grow up with but maybe no father and a loving mother is better than having a father who doesn't even want you. anyways, i don't have any answers on how someone could turn their back on their own child but i thought i'd let you know that you're not alone in this. hope to hear from you ... sorry for the novel.

~michelle

It is all their loss and you can bet yourself that THEIR relationship will not be a stable one. They are BOTH sloppy people. You are better off without the weak spined man in your child's life. It's not often a person will change but some have. It's just not likely.

You hang in there. Your child is lucky to have such a mother. By the by, many a man has taken up with a woman who's pregnant. Not that this may happen, but down the road, while you continue to keep bettering yourself, you WILL find a winner and BETTER role model for your child.

I wish you and your child the very best of life.

When my x told me he was seeing someone else, I was so upset. I had just had our son. I cried for days...When he married the new wife she immediately had two little girls-who have since turned out not to be his children. After his 3 or 4 DUI'S, Jail terms and cheating - Whoo! Are we better off. 13 years later my son is in advanced classes, I have gotten my Bachelors Degree, and working on my Masters in Organizational Psychology...Hell I don't want him back in my life I may have to support him! (Not) After a couple of years this will all seem like a bad dream-a funny one. 1 good parent is better than 2 bad ones - per my very smart 13 year old...who's going to high school early. ( Note: Sometimes a Man's Rejection is Gods Protection )