I feel like a prisioner in my own home.

Last night I had class until 9:30pm, so my mom was watching my daughter. In the middle of class, my mom calls and says my ex is banging on our door and constantly calling and hanging up. I can hear my daughter SCREAMING in the background. I told my mom to call the police, but she said she was already in pj's and didn't want to get dressed. I was shaking the whole drive. So when class ended, I was scared to death to go home. Somehow, I managed to slip in. I wasn't even home 15 minutes before the banging on the door and phone calls began. We turned off all of the lights in our house and my daughter and I stayed in the master bedroom with my mom. We were both scared. It was close to 11pm and he was still calling and banging on the door. Finally, my dad came home from work and checked to see if my ex was still there. No sight of him.

Then, at 8:00am this morning, I was waken up to more banging at my door. I immediately started shaking with fear [even more so because I was here alone with my daughter]. Then, the phone calls started. I locked myself in my bedroom... and it eventually stopped.

I noticed yesterday too, after running errands with my daughter, my ex was following me home. Then when I had class last saturday, my mom was watching my daughter, and she said someone was following her too.

I am soo scared. I don't know what to do. I wish my ex would stop harassing my family and I.

Jessica
You need a restraining order! Then when he comes near you, you can call the police and he'll go to jail. I will warn you, though, the restraining order will make him mad and if he's the type of person who will physically harm you (which it sounds like he may be), he may try to break into your house. By that time the restraining order will be of no use. I would suggest you get the restraining order and then go into hiding for awhile. Stay with a friend or another family member and don't let him follow you there! And have your parents get some sort of security system. Even if it's one of those cheap ones that you get at Home Depot or something where you just stick little alarms to all the windows and doors. So they know if he breaks in and they can call the police.

It is scary! If I didn't live halfway across the country, I'd let you come stay with me in a second! Don't let him control you! Show him you're not scared and you're not going to put up with it and throw him in jail if you have to!!

Jessica,

I don't blame you for being scared. I would be too! I wish there was someway to hlep you. I have to agree w/alex. Get the order and then find another place to live for a while. Then get an alarm system for your parents house.

It gets furating when you are the victim and you feel like you are the one being punished for nothing you did wrong.

I hope things get better and we are here for you even if it's just for moral support.

Good luck

SPIRIT

Absolutely......call the police. At the very least file a report that it took place so it's on file and call immediately if/when he pulls that stuff again. Restraining order's a good idea as well with that sort of behavior.

Why wait til he breaks in and hurts someone?? Why not call police now?

I'm with Laurie; call the cops and find somewhere to lay low. This is no time to take chances.

thanks for the support everyone. I feel like I am falling apart. I am just so emotionally drained right now.

I stayed at my grandma's house today. Apparently, he came back while I was gone. I see my answering machine has 9 messages [all in which he just hangs up]. I am just soo scared I am going to wake up in the morning to more banging on my door. I hate living like this.

and the funny thing is, he has the nerve to call ME emotionally unstable. I think he needs to look in the mirror.

I think I am going to file a report. But what happens when I do that? Do they contact him? Does he get a copy of the report?

Just call the cops and tell them what's going on. Cops take a dim view of harrassment. I used to do MP duty in the military, I know. They will get you started on all that, questions about who sees what and what happens when. Get the ball rolling.

I have to tell you luv, stalking IS illegal in all 50 states. Get a restraining order, some kind of an alarm, and tell your mom next time this happens, don't worry about being in PJ's, she needs to call the cops right then and there. How far down in So Cal are you? Maybe I'll mosey on down there and become your bodyguard! I haven't been in a good fistfight since high school. I'm feeling kinda nostalgic.

Jessica, to be honest different police in different areas may handle it differently. At the very least filing a report will make a record of his actions, depending on the police in question they may choose to go speak with him. If they do very little the first time, you can push them into more action should you have to file more reports each time it happens.

If you file for a restraining order (which it seems you should) then he will be served a copy (temporary restraining order), and a court date will be set for a judge to decide whether there's enough reason to continue that restraining order as court order.

I remember some of your other posts, and I sure hope you follow through with protecting yourself, by involving the law. This guy needs to learn to take no for an answer.

Just another suggestion...you may want to go so far as to change your phone number, as well...

And yes, he'll know if you put a restraining order on him because they'll have to serve it to him. And since he'll probably get even more angry AFTER the restraining, that's why you should continue to stay with g-ma and have mom get alarms! Don't take any chances with this guy, he could be capable of anything, even if your mom doesn't seem to take it seriously. It's your job to protect your baby from this guy. You're all she's got! Don't wait, get that restraining order NOW!!

I have to agree with the above posts but I am also quite confused.
If you told your Mom to call the police when you got home and he was still doing this why did you not call the police?
Why did you not answer the phone when he called? Why would you turn lights out and lay in bed afraid just to wake up to it again?
If you are afraid of him call the police while he is banging on your door.

And I would call police every time he came banging on my door!! Being in pj's just isn't a very good excuse for not calling the police. And I also want to ask Y didn't you call police when u arrived home??? You have to stop this now!!!

In response to your questions Tomany2count, I wanted to call the cops. My mom told me not to. She told me to wait until my dad got home. So, I did. I figured I can go to the police station during the day and file a report.

I don't answer my ex's phone calls because everytime I talk to him, he just tells me how I'm stupid, how I'm a failure in life, and etc. When he and I were together, he always verbally abused me. He called me every name in the book. I am sick of it.

I already changed my cell phone number and am going to block his number from my house phone. If he ever does this again, I WILL call the police. No matter what my mom tells me.

Your mom should be more supportive and more protective of you and your baby. Maybe sit down and talk with her and admit that you made a mistake, apologize for the trouble it is causing her, and tell her that you need her on your side. He is an evil person and you need to know that she has your back. Explain that whether you are there or not, or your dad is there or not, the next time he comes around, the police need to be notified. Make sure she knows about the restraining order too.