When I was with my ex he use to say I was damaged goods and that he had to suffer because I was horrible abused as a child.I now suffer a head injury due to this an I am very limited with what I can physically do.My big question is how do I go about meeting men.Should I just stay single is it selfish of me to want compainionship and bring a man into my life> I am quickly using use of my legs and arms.I have chronic pain,losing my sight in one eye due to it was cut in half by a paystub.My kids think I should start making friends and dating.B ut I feel I am asking to much of another person due to my limitations.

Ok I'm not a guy but if you meet that right man he is not going to care. Here is a story that may help you. My aunt who is in her fifites is quite normal full of engery met a guy that had MS, in a wheel chair and had other health issues but she started dating him. Eventually he moved in w/her. They were happy for ever until he passed on. She took care of him and was much in love with him. My aunt was the right person. She didn't care that she may have been incovinced by his health needs she loved him for him. He was a good man.

Some days I have questions of whether I will find the right man. What man is going to want someone with two kids w/two fathers? I'm not finacly stable. I also have health issues that come along too w/me that could or could not impact upon any new relationship. I keep my chin up and know that I will find the right guy that will accept me, my kids and everything else that comes along.

You're not being selfish at all. You need to have fun and a life too. Good luck to you.

SPIRIT

Learning Always hello nice to meet you. well i dont think you are being selfish on wanting wo be with some one. i think most people here want the same thing in due time. on what your ex said to you that are damaged good, well i wouldnt say that. i known several people who were in successful relationship and that just goes to prove that is it more of a mental thing than a physical thing. i think your ex also abused you on a mental level which is just as bad as physical. i think your kids are right you need to get out and make some friends and maybe more

Because you have physical limitations does not mean you do not deserve to be loved, wanted, and needed. Your limitations don't mean you have nothing to offer to a man. Before you involve yourself in any relationship, you need to learn to accept yourself. If you don't, you are doomed to repeat your last relationship. Think of all the good you have to offer. Think about how strong you are to have survived all of the tragic experiences in your life. When you do that, then find a man to love and be loved by.

I am not a guy, but I think there is nothing wrong with going out there and meeting someone. It is not selfish to want campanionship and love. Just because you have limitations, doesn't mean you shouldn't fufill your desire for campanionship. I'm sure there are tons of guys out there who would love to be with you and would accept you for who you are. good luck and take care!

Thank you everyone I just feel like there is no me left and after 38 yrs of abuse,I have no idea who I am .This all gets worse when my 2 oldest come to visit.Comments such as look mom is turning into Terri Shivo.I am trying so hard to find something positive and aside from Destiny and Cody I just cant.I feel guilty for not getting the kids out sooner,maybe it would have saved my 2 oldest.I feel like I have nothing left to offer.Even when my parents are here if I dont have my braces on my legs they cant even look at them.My ex continuously tells the kids that when he dies they will get a set of his kiss figures each and all I can give them is a 50% chace of being sick and deformed like me.I guess the easiest way to say it is I let everyone down.My exs mom has crippling arthritis so is it cruel to pray he gets it just so he will know how it feels and how much it hurts.Trying to find my upper in a huge sea of downers.gail

I think you are asking a lot of yourself.
You are in a physical, emotional, financial nightmare Gail
Yet you have love and hopes and humor still??
Many of us can only shake our heads in awe of that.

You are an amazing individual. It takes time to meet new people, and the opportunities as well. Little by little changes will happen, and you may find yourself in a place where you happen across a individual that appreciates all you are.

Have faith and you'll make progress.
As for all your ex has to say... well you know what that is worth.

You need to get involved in church or something. Something positive. You have way to much negativity in your life. Please get some counceling or find a support group of people with your similar situation. They adult survivors of childhood abuse. Your parents created this physical deformity, tell the to go to he**!

Hi alim4547 I have gone for coucelling but I cant afford it.The hospital hooked me up to a free counceller and long as you pay $5.00 every visit and pay $4.20 to get there.Free my butt.I have reached out in evey possible direction.I am waiting to get on disability who will pay for all of this.Jioning support groups would be wonderful but I have a sever brain injury from repeated blows to the head and can barly walk.I have disc problems,nerve damage,knees have colapesed,feet have fused and the tendons wont release anymore.I am waiting for disability so I can get a scooter to get around.I know these sound like excuses but I was bedridden for about 3 months when I left.My ex reported all of my bank cards lost or stolen,let my health care run out.Would not supply groceries he would buy them and lock them in the trunk of the car when he went to work.I lived 17 yrs in this hell thinking it was ok cause it was better than my childhood.But thank you I am still trying to find something close by where i can find some help for now.The closest food bank with support services is about 6 blocks away but I have tried to make it there at least once a month.Next specialist app is sept 26 I am going to have my saticia main nerve frozen to help with the pain.All the rest will have till wait until I see disability.Thank you take care and I appreiciate all of your input.Gail

Find a wuport group on line like this one. Your story is amazing. You give me strength and realize my problems are not so bad. The best thing my mom ever told me...someone always have it better than you and worse than you.

Thanks The support group I need now since my oldest son showed up to let me know I am going to be a grandma.I would be an alchoholic or druggie but Im to poor and on 2 much medicine.lol.So today I am on a mission to find something positive to hold on to before I snap.Ok my positive though for today is when I grow up I want to be a butterfly it worked when I was 5 so ill give it a try.I wanted to be a bunny to but they multiply to much.Have a good one Gail