I'm not entirely sure what to do. I have my ex's baby due in February & naming the child is still up in the air. Should I try & come to some kind of agreement on a name or just go w/ what I like? Also, wondering if I should call him when I'm in delivery or after... I fear that he'll throw it all back on me.

Depends on the situation. Is he involved? Have you discussed names, and whether or not he will be there? Has he expressed that he would like to be?

I just went through this myself, and my best friend also. We both had to do what fit our situations.
My ex disappeared when I was 4 months pregnant. Told him when he left his involvement was his decision. Never heard from him again, so never had to make these decisions.
My best friends ex, stayed in the picture for the baby. She called him and let him know she was on her way to the hospital, but he was not in the room. Her decision. She went with the name they chose before he left, but did debate others she liked.

It depends on your situation...I was still married, but separated when I had my son. I gave my son the first name we agreed on but gave my son my maiden name for his last name as I knew I was getting divorced and was going back to it. I did put his father's last name before mine but not hyphenated. If I could do it over, I probably would have named his first name what I wanted to begin with but either way, he/she will be the light of your life.

Take care,
Caitlin

Yes, that's a good point. Have you discussed the last name?

Yes, we had discussed the last name & we agreed that it should be his last name. I know that he would like to be there but he's one of those guys that liked to do the talking for me sometimes. Right now, what I feel is having my family call him after baby is born. I feel that it would be too stressful on me during that time if he were in the room. I have no attraction to him anymore & that's something I would have liked to have if things had been different between us. Maybe I'll do both our last names as my first born has that also. The name that he liked for a boy isn't one that I'd necessarily choose. It has a special meaning to him (it's not a relatives name either). A few of the girls names we talked about sound good. His first idea before we seperated was, 'I name this one, you name the next one'. I don't believe in that & told him so. I just so fear that he throw legalities on me about something like this afterwards.

Do what is best for you? I don't think there are legalities on the name and whether or not he is in the room for the birth. I could be wrong though.

First; he does NOT need to be in the room when you give birth by any state. That is a choice for you to make and you alone. All you have to do is write down and give to your doc/nurse that you DO NOT want him in the room. They have to honor you...only in writing though...if you tell them, you may or may not get your wish.

Also, if there's a shread of doubt that he will not be in the picture when your child is born/older, go with your gut and name your child what you want. As far as legalities, the only part of his name it could possibly effect is his last name. Check your public assistance office/social security office/lawyer if you have one, to see what the deal is on that part.

No matter what is decided, you are your child's mother and will be closest to him/her when he/she is born. No one can take that away from you and you will be a stronger/better person for what you do for your child.

That said, we all make mistakes, it's the lessons we learn making those mistakes that make us better people.

Keep your head up, the sun on your face, and think positive. You'll be fine no matter what happens.

Good luck,
C