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Ex's
Not sure how to handle this|
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Lively & Zealous Parent |
I'm pretty certain my ex is going to do some jail time in the next few weeks. He had a car accident while driving under suspension. He had an outstanding traffic fine and a block on his license for non payment of child support (not from me, his ex wife). Two days after his court date, he lost his job due to downsizing. The court ordered him to pay everything before his next date in early March. If it was paid, the case would be thrown out. Well, he's had no luck finding a new job and has no money to pay his fines. I have a feeling he'll do some jail time. I'm not sure how i'm going to handle this with my daughter if it happens. He is a fairly active part of her life so she will notice his absence. She is also well aware of what jail is since her uncle is a police officer and we've talked about how he puts "bad boys in jail". I don't particularly want her to know her dad is now a "bad boy", but I don't want her to feel like he just disappeared either. Any insight on how I could handle this with her?
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Setting New Standards |
I really dont think she needs to know where he went. If it's mostly just for traffic violations, he can't be gone too long. Couldn't he just be on vacation somewhere? Working out of town? Maybe the two of you could put together some reasonable script about where he is and then just not talk about it too much.
I dont like to lie to my daughter but I think sometimes it's necessary. (I told my daughter that Mr Woggins, our pet mouse, missed his parents and went back to the pet store--not true--mice just dont live very long) Why burden her with things that would stress even an adult out? I'm sure there are some parents here who would disagree with me. But that's what I would do. Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa |
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Lively & Zealous Parent |
I really don't like to lie to my child either, but I think I have to agree with you on this one. She is only 3 and doesn't need to know about all of this grown up stuff, but I think she deserves some kind of explanation also. Her oldest half-brother is 19 and away at college. I was thinking of telling her that daddy went to spend some time with him. Blah! The whole thing makes me feel crappy. Things would be much easier if "dad" was a bit more responsible financially
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SFV JUNKIE!!! |
Boy, did You say a "mouthful". I'm a man of many mysteries and sides....SO many I'm practically round!! |
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Setting New Standards |
Whatever you do tell her astarte, just make sure it's something you wont get caught in. I'm sure you would only feel worse later if she found out you lied. And I agree, it is one of those Bleh situations, and pretty crappy that your ex has put you in the position of having to figure out how to handle this.
Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. Mother Teresa |
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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online
Single Parent Forums
Ex's
Not sure how to handle this

