Ok I left my daughter's father when I was 8 months pregnant. He moved out of the apartment we had with out telling me (i was also on the lease which now has screwed my credit and chance of renting). He has used my information (name and address) to open accounts at blockbuster and other places and has run up bills which are now being sent to me and screwing my credit further. He almost put me into early labor by telling me he put down (killed) my cat (which he said he loved and would take care of) and then asked me for the 600 he has to pay the vet. My daughter is now 4 months old and he has yet to see her. He has never answered the petition papers both personal and court issued. He has never sent us any money or presents. His family has been nothing but nasty to me since I left (almost putting me into early labor also by sending nasty, hurtful and threatening emails). He now wants to come see her. I find this kind of fishy. I don't know if I should tell him no and tell him to wait until after the court hearing (which legally makes me her sole custody parent). I feel I should do this because he and his family is more worried about their own safety and comfort and not my daughters. Help what would you do in this situation??

Shannon

Wow! I understand your worry. I would be very suspicious of his motives too, considering his past behaviour. That behaviour has been disgusting. Is there no way to stop him or prevent him from using your name to open these accounts? How can he do this. Your poor cat and the nerve he has to ask you for money! I would go with your instincts and protect your daughter. It sounds like you feel that waiting until after the court hearing would be best. Sounds sensible as you would have sole custody. Your little one would be protected. I would go with your instinct which sounds quite good. Do you have any family or close friends to act as support and sounding boards? If and when he ever comes to see your daughter, I would make sure that someone was there with you. Gowell!

I've been in a similar situation, I though, was the one that left my ex in the lease. I had to for the sake of my life and my son's. If you know he's opening these accounts is there anyway for you to go to the police with the information or is there not enough? As far as your cat, I'm sorry, some people are very spiteful especially when they have been left, my ex was the same way (not with animals) but with my mail and important papers that I had. I know things are difficult but this too shall pass, I would wait until after court especially with the way he's been, I know you can't keep him from his child but why NOW does he all of a sudden want to see her when he wasn't willing to in the first 4 mos. I find that fishy also.

It is my understanding that, if a party ordered to appear in court does not, their rights are basically scrapped. It shouldn't be difficult for you to stop him from entering your daughter's life in a way that sound malicious.
If it were me, I would fight it. the things you are saying about him sound scary. No daughter deserves a father like that.

I am not big on denying any parent a right to their child, but it takes more than you know what to be a parent.

I would fight his access. I would also keep records of these emails he sent, any court papers you have and anything else that would work for you. Have him charged with fraud, as well.