My ex rarely spends time with our daughter. Only if I ask him to when I have an extreme circumstance (working OT, death in the family, sickness..) She asks to stay with him and he has a poor excuse most times why she can't stay. She asked him yesterday, he had an excuse, but his mother (who he lives with) said "you can stay tomorrow night". So, this morning, my daughter remembers this and asks if she's staying with "dad" tonight. I told her "grandma said you can, so yes" Her face lights up and she squeals "THANK YOU MOMMY!!". She's thanking me...does she think that she doesn't stay at daddy's because I don't allow her to? That is so not the case! I don't want her thinking this at all, but I don't want to bad mouth her father either and make him look like a villan. OR she could have just thanked me because she was excited about it...she's only 3. What do you all think/suggest?

I think it's the latter - that she's just thrilled that she gets to spend time with daddy. At her young age, she sees the world with a positive outlook, rather than the pessimistic one that we often adopt as we become adults.
Tiffany

excitement and honesty nothing more...its good you are the way you are with her father,nothing good comes out of bad mouthing ex-spouses in front of the kids....thats what we are here for.....you crazy thang

quote:

OR she could have just thanked me because she was excited about it...she's only 3. What do you all think/suggest?

i'd bank on this being the reason.... it is likely automatically saying "i'm fine" when someone asks you how you are doing, but in reality your curled over the toilet praying to the porcelain gods

Thanks everyone. I think sometimes I pay TOO close attention to my daughter and her reactions to things and I tend to over analyze. I know how her dad is and I know that hurt is inevitable so I try to cushion everything before it happens.