I accidenlty let "I want you to be as misable as I am" pop out of my mouth last night to my ex. I didn't even know I was misrable or that I wanted him to be too but as soon as I said it (and heard my self say it) I knew that it was true. I am misrable. Sure I have a beautiful baby girl but right now that's all I have. And ever since I have siad this statement I have been feeling so very low. And I do want my ex to be misrable too. And that's probably why i have been such a b**** to him. I'm sick of him having his life go on as usual and me not having anything at all.

I TRULY TRULY know how you feel right now. I am feeling the exact same way. And I might have it worse, because I am pregnant therefore, at this moment my life is sort of at a standstill. You know what I have been learning to do? Focus on me. Is he really worth the energy of you wanting him to be miserable? You should try re-channeling that energy and putting it to better YOU. Everytime I start thinking about my ex- I start saying to myself or outloud, You need to focus on you, stop giving him THAT MUCH! Put that energy on you and your baby. I know it is so much easier said than done, but if you keep reminding yourself you will really start feeling that way. Maybe part of the reason you are miserable is because you are wishing that on him hun. Let that anger in you go and focus on yourself. Like I said... Is he really worth all of that energy. It gets exhausting. At this point it is exhausting to me and I can't make him be the way I want him to, I can only change my own ways and behavior. So focus on YOU! You deserve that energy and attention. Not him. Remember that.

How long ago did you split up?

we slpit up about 3 days after I told him I was pregnant! So that was just over a year ago now. He didn't talk to me for over a month, then he changed his mind about being a daddy. We were using each other for convienient *** up until about 3 or 4 months ago.

well i can say is i have done the same. for me i felt embarassed about it later, like maybe if i didnt behave that way toward him, he wouldnt have so much ammo at me. I decided to always be nice and NEVER need him, take away his ammo. When he sees you dont give a s*** about him, dont need him, etc. He'll start respecting the infrequent requests you do have. But you and your baby girl dont need him. I know girls need a dad and that might be what this is really about. but you cant force him. let him step up to the plate his own way, as long as it #1 doesnt hurt your daughter & #2 doesnt hurt you. but dont force him to do what you need, do it yourself.

oh ya and one more thing, sorry...

in a year or so, you'll have a life with an amazing achievement (raising your daughter). And he will be the s**t bag that abandoned his daughter and have that to live with the rest of his life.