I am 28 with a great 6 year old daughter. I've been divorced for about 2 years and have kept a great relationship with my ex for my daughter's sake. Our relationship went too far and now I'm pregnate, which I am very happy about but my ex wants no part of it. How do I explain to my daughter that I'm having a baby with her dad who is great to her but he isn't going to have anything to do with the baby?

Dear Aimee,
This is my first letter on a site like this so please excuse my inexperience.

I obviously don't know much about your situation, and I'm certainly no counselor, but here are my thoughts: Firtst, If you're sure the baby is his and he acknowledges it, I would wait until she asks the question, and let him explain. If he's taking the position that it's not his child, you probably don't want him to explain it to her, though. Maybe you can tell her that he doesn't know the baby like he knows your daughter and knows he will never get the chance so he's scared to get close(or something like that). I don't know everything involved, but I don't understand a man who shuns his child. At the risk of sounding judgemental, he sounds like a jerk. Good luck. Sincerely,
Gerry

Hi Aimee

It sounds like he used you and being a jerk. My thing is that an ex are EXs for a reason. You cannot make someone be a father, so you might need to let him go if he doesn't want to be any par of it. Good luck to you.

There will me no way to explain it to your daughter just as there will be no way to explain it to the baby when he/she gets older. All you can do is hope and pray that he has a change of heart towards the baby.
Regardless of if he claims the baby or denies the baby I would suggest getting this matter into child support court asap after the baby is born. It is not his choice as to supporting the baby it is his responseablity to that baby.
He might have doubts if the baby is really his or he might be in a commited relationship. I don't know I am just throwing out suggestions as to why he is doing this. I do know though that thier are a lot of women in your postion. The one thing I would suggest though is even if he is found to be the babies father and he still chooses to deny the baby I would suggest that you not speak badly against him in front of your children I know that it is easier said then done, but your older child will be devasted, and very confused.
This is a hard thing for you to deal with and I wish you the best of luck.
P.S. My fiance was in a similar situation growing up as your daughter will be in as well as the fact that he is in somewhat of the same situation with his own child.