quote:

I just don't know if I should be packing up her stuff in front of Ash. I know she moved out in front of her (Ash is a tough cookie about all this, she doesn't appear to be adversely affected - which I'm very thankful for). I think tonight is the night I start packing it up, after Ash goes to bed. Then it's just a matter of working out the best time to take it over to her this weekend.

I agree with your decision to pack after Ash goes to bed.

N4J,

If you think things may get ugly, you could always rent storage for a month and give her the key. That way you don't have to deal with her face to face.

Once I made the decision to go ahead with the divorce, I made sure she got ALL of her **** out of the house in one day.

I've been through enough break ups to know that the best way to move on is to cut all connections and drama with the ex. No more of her calling for ****, or showing up demanding something she forgot, etc.

Good luck in all of this!

Btw, is kills me that my wife seems happy with the way things turned out. I hate her guts, but if I think long term...I know it will be for the best and I'll find someone 10 times better! You will too!

quote:

Originally posted by FooserX:
Once I made the decision to go ahead with the divorce, I made sure she got ALL of her **** out of the house in one day.

I've been through enough break ups to know that the best way to move on is to cut all connections and drama with the ex. No more of her calling for ****, or showing up demanding something she forgot, etc.

Good luck in all of this!

Btw, is kills me that my wife seems happy with the way things turned out. I hate her guts, but if I think long term...I know it will be for the best and I'll find someone 10 times better! You will too!

Out of curiosity I suppose......Did she ask for the divorce or did you?

If emotions are really high in any situation where property is exchanged, local PD will usually make an appearance for a little while to insure that things don't get out of hand and stay civil. They'll give the person a certain amount of time to get their belongings and leave.

I'm a few days late here but the topic caught my eye. Our, um, my house is full of her stuff. She walked away and didn't want anything.

I'm a horribly sentimental guy so I just can't throw it away. But at the same time it kind of depresses me. In one box I have all of her kindergarten artwork. In another all her old family photos. Bookshelves are full of her books. My closet has more of her shoes than mine. And what to do with the tampons? The list goes on and on.

Some days I feel like a big bonfire. Other days it feels like it's all I have left.

The tampons can go in the bonfire for sure

Here's my opinion on the personal stuff like what you are mentioning old family photos, school artwork, those non replaceable things....Box those up and send even to a family member if possible or needed....oh maybe even the shoes can go in the bonfire though since she can't be bothered

I'll tell you...My young adulthood I went through three "long term" relationships (6-7 years each. Even with how badly 2 of those ended I still have my yearbooks, a few old family keepsakes that sort of thing. Heck those even made it through my ex wife who after we parted ways sold/gave away my clothes, tools, jewelry All in all, I'm just happy that the personal/sentimental things I still have. And believe me with my life choices back then my personal stuff I wouldn't even have had it not been for them saving them and/or arranging to get them to me.

Lol, you're right. I don't need the tampons. Those should be first to go. Some of the stuff I guess is family history. Her mother has disowned her so she doesn't want any of that irreplaceable stuff. Our kids should find some of that stuff interesting when they are older.

I think given the lack of conflict with the way my relationship ended I kind of grieve a bit more like she died. Eh, I just need a slap upside the head to stop being so sentimental.

It's interesting how different people deal with the "stuff" left after a relationship.

I knew it was over and got got rid of everything we shared that would remind me of him. Our marriage seemed like a lie and I woke up and realized, I was the only one in it.

My former roommate kept his house looking the same for 4 years after he divorced. It was extremely heartbreaking for him to box up his children's toys and belongings (children lives in Europe) and he only did so when I kindly told him, I doubt his children would still play with them. He kept a few he remembered them playing with fondly.


Building a new life....instead of holding on to the past.... I guess I like the idea of the memory chest left in the attic

quote:

Originally posted by Tessmit:
It's interesting how different people deal with the "stuff" left after a relationship.

I knew it was over and got got rid of everything we shared that would remind me of him. Our marriage seemed like a lie and I woke up and realized, I was the only one in it.

My former roommate kept his house looking the same for 4 years after he divorced. It was extremely heartbreaking for him to box up his children's toys and belongings (children lives in Europe) and he only did so when I kindly told him, I doubt his children would still play with them. He kept a few he remembered them playing with fondly.


Building a new life....instead of holding on to the past.... I guess I like the idea of the memory chest left in the attic

Tess that is beautiful. The memory chest line. Wow. And oddly, it just freed me up to toss a whole lot of things I had been clinging to in order to preserve the memories. I think I'll take a few photos and donate the 'stuff' then create a memory chest photo album. Move on, with the ability to peak back without being overrun by stuff. Thanks Tess!!!

Jamie and I purchased my house as the place to start our family. Not a day goes by that I look at it and think about getting out of here...I have done some things that have helped such as new landscaping, and removing all the flowers she had planted and replacing them with flowers that suit me, and I also have plans to tear out a wall or two and make new rooms that would make for a better fit in my life...

I also still have a garage and spare room FULL of her child hood. I am talking from her home videos to her baby clothes to her prom dresses...They are there because they are, and have been, stored there by her father since her mother walked out on him. That room hasn't even been opened in roughly a year...

As for items that were Jamie and mine, they have mostly been replaced or altered in someway or another in order to make them more "Joey friendly"...The only things that you will find in my house now that tie the two of us together are the sentimental things such as pictures, cards, gifts, etc that have been put in a hope chest and stored in Trey's room. They're not in there for me, but I feel I need something to show him that when he was conceived, mommy and daddy were in totally different places than we are now. Some day he will ask what happened, and I will get out the hope chest and show him that he was a product of love and that he had nothing to do with the destruction of the relationship....

As far as her other stuff that was not laid claim on by her or her father....yeah, I ummm....have this fire pit....and ummm....let's just say that fire tends to be very therapeutic for me...

I assume you've already completed the "returning of the stuff" and I hope it went well. I know how you're feeling. My ex and I have still been living together because we haven't been able to do anything about it financially, but we are finally both moving out this weekend. Tensions have been running extremely high and we've had some terrible fights in the past few weeks. But I think that once it's over with things will get better. So I hope things work out for you.

Not yet, man I'm bad about this. Hope to get it packed up this weekend.