My ex has basically "replaced" his kids. His gf has a son a year younger than our son and they have a daughter together who is now 2 1/2 (even though our divorce was only final in JULY). When he got fired in January, the gf had to take the kids and move to GA with her mom for a while. While she was gone, he saw the kids at least once a month, and had them overnight at his mom's house on several of those visits. The day the divorce was final, they decided it was time for her to move back, and he hasn't seen the kids since.

Anytime I called when she first returned to ask him if he was going to take the kids for his weekend, he said, 'It's too crowded at mom's with everyone here, I'm going to wait until we get our house and then take them'. He has supervised visits, and is unhappy about it, so when I brought that fact up he said he "wasn't going to put his mom through that'. I told him via email, so I'd have evidence of what I've said, that he didn't have a choice and I wasn't going against the court order.

I've never heard from him again. He gave the gf his cell phone and got a new one, didn't give me the number. He moved out of his mom's house without telling me or giving me his new address, which is required by the court order.

I honestly prefer him not being in our lives personally. His child support is going to continue to be garnished, whether he likes it or not. Now that the gf and kids are back, he doesn't really have the option of switching jobs again every few months to hide from the csed garnishments.

Problem is, now the kids are wondering where he went, and why he doesn't come to see them. He never called to talk to them before, so that hasn't changed, but he hasn't been around at all in a month. What do you tell your kids? That they're better off? (Truthfully) Or do you lie to them and tell them he's just busy? It's not fair to them.

Take care Mom....

It's not an easy situation at all to be in. I would suggest seeking professional advice from a family counselor or pediatrician. Because of the court issues and needing documentation, you want any actions documented to your favor.

Good luck!

Caitlin

That's not an easy one. I'd say family is never too busy for family so that wouldn't make him family.

My wife ran off and she keeps saying she'll have the kids over when the boyfriend buys her a big house. I don't expect him to do that.

Kids are smart and they probably know. I think honesty without trashing him is the best thing for the long term.