I had a dream last night I was pretty upset about. I dreamt that my ex got married with his new gf and moved to another province with her. His distant family members (I've never met) called me to tell me and then had other family members come to my house for "free hotel" purposes. I had a room full of people I didn't even know, and they were all talking about things that had nothing to do with me. Ever dream about your ex??

I guess I'm upset with him right now because he's decided to walk out on his son. Reason being, he has a new gf who doesn't know he has a child. My son keeps talking about him, wondering why he doesn't call him or see him anymore. Yesterday we were in his neighbourhood and J asked if we could stop by his house so he could ask him. I said no to protect him but at the same time, I almost wanted to say yes. Why not confront him right? He's only 7 though and I don't want him to get anymore hurt then he already is.

Oh, my heart breaks for your son. I am so sorry.

Thanks captmatrix. I really feel for him too. He had a rough night last night and we ended talking about his dad again. He's quite angry with him and is referring to him by his first name. He also said that when he's older, his dad 'better' say sorry or he's never going to help 'him' when he needs it. Poor guy.

I had another bizzare dream last night. I dreamt that my ex and I were getting married. No one was at the wedding except the two of us, the priest, and 2 foreign exchange students for witnesses .. that just happened to be there. After the ceremony, which was held in a school gym, I realized he forgot to give me the wedding ring. He said he forgot and then gave me a bundle of pencils with gems on the ends, to compensate. lol I got mad at him so he finally gave me the ring (he had to buy back from the pawn shop) and it had a blue diamond. Later on in the dream, I was talking with a friend of mine, saying how it looked like a mood ring and sure enough, the band read: "Mood ring" Isn't blue suppose to mean calm??? Not only that but during "our dance" he picked me up and accidentally dropped me on my face. Now THAT doesn't suprise me at all.

Anyone care to analyze this one?? lol

I wish I had some elaborate dreams like that! The only thing I get is weird animals running off with my baby (Dingo ate my baby? shrug)
I do feel for you son though = (
Although it's kind of cute I guess for him to say what he said about his dad better being sorry later down the road. I guess no matter how hard we might try to protect our children, they're not blind, in the end they know what's happening.
I hope for the best for both of you!

quote:

Originally posted by Baerhiel:
The only thing I get is weird animals running off with my baby (Dingo ate my baby? shrug)

Love that show! Your dreams sound like what is really happening in your life.. with everyone trying to convince you to 'kill' your baby. I generally have weird dreams - always have.

Thanks Baerhiel!

quote:

Originally posted by miss jes:
Thanks captmatrix. I really feel for him too. He had a rough night last night and we ended talking about his dad again. He's quite angry with him and is referring to him by his first name. He also said that when he's older, his dad 'better' say sorry or he's never going to help 'him' when he needs it. Poor guy.

I'll just never understand how some people are able to completely write off their child. I'm assuming that dad has been involved up to this point? What a horrible thing to do to a child. Your son has every right to be mad at his dad. Does your son get counselling or anything? Is that something you think he might benefit from?

Again, I am just so sorry for you and your son. You're both in my thoughts.

quote:

Originally posted by captmatrix:
I'll just never understand how some people are able to completely write off their child. I'm assuming that dad has been involved up to this point? What a horrible thing to do to a child. Your son has every right to be mad at his dad. Does your son get counselling or anything? Is that something you think he might benefit from?

Well we broke up when J was about 10 months old (he's almost 8 now). He was seeing him for the first little while until the custody order was finalized. Then he stopped seeing him until about a year ago. His dad had just lost his brother so when he called saying he wanted to be in his life, I thought he was going through some revelation of some sort. I opened our doors and helped re-facilitate the visitations and then after 10 months, I guess he decided he had enough. I'm going to make a doctor's appointment to see if he can recommend a counsellor. That's a great idea captmatrix and it's something that's been on my mind lately too.

I'm sorry miss jes. Words fail me except 'your ex is a complete donkey'.

quote:

Originally posted by Hanzi:
I'm sorry miss jes. Words fail me except 'your ex is a complete donkey'.

Thanks Hanzi and I couldn't agree with you more!!

I'm sorry you & your son are going through this Jes!! The in & out is so much harder even than just out...but I can deffinately see why you thought he wanted to be a father after his brother passed away. How is your communication with him..could you explain to him in any way that what he is doing is hurting his son? I agree I would have wanted to have J confront him directly too..but my fear would be that if dad decided to STOP seeing him J would forever blame himself! No 8 yr old should have to endure that! No 8 yr old should have to play 2nd fiddle to a new girlfriend though either! Again I'm sorry for the pain he is in and that you have to watch him go through! Hang in there!!

Thanks Jaylie. My ex and I have been corresponding through email for the most part. I've emailed him explaining to him some of the things J has said. I've heard nothing in return. I even told him how J finally learned how to ride his bike that he bought him last year - again, nothing. He's made up his mind. I didn't want to go to his house because I didn't want to put J in a situation where, A: dad wouldn't come to the door (he has a roommate), or B: dad would get mad for having me bring him to his door. I can't force dad to be in J's life. I know when they were spending time together, dad was having a hard time with J listening to him. I guess he's given up. Thanks for your support! I made a doctor's appointment for this coming Friday. I'm hoping he'll be able to help us out somehow.

Sounds like a great guy. Maybe a good smack up side the head from the SFV Mafia would do him good. Who's with me?

Oh Oh!
I'm new, but I'll totally be in the SFV mafia! (I'm Russian...I've got to have SOME encryption in the DNA for the mafia stuff, right?)
I'm all for smacking the "complete donkey" upside the head.

Hi Ms. Jess,

It hurts when you have to see your child go through this kind of pain. The most painful part is you can't do anything about easing that pain. It's something that your son has to come to terms with. I saw my own son go through it at nine yrs old. He is now 11yrs old and has come to terms some what. It seems like your son is working through on his terms and maybe consuling will help him get through a lot easier. Good luck to your son and you.

I'm so with the idea of smacking the donkey up side the head!

Your son is 8 correct? Does he know how to read and e-mail(crazy I know but my daughter can order toys with my credit card lol I know i know) It might help him to talk to someone around his age.Kinda like a pen pal. I could have Ren drop him a hello line. Just a thought.

Mafia .. now why didn't I think of that.. it's deep into my roots and with Baerhiel's background .. rwe1dad, what's yours? lol

Spirit, nice to see you again. I'm glad your son is doing much better. How long did he go through therapy?

Alaska, that actually sounds like a great idea - penpal. My son can't type very well .. if at all, but there's always a day to learn. I'll have to ask him and see what he says. Thanks!

I have asked J if he wants to email his dad, to tell him about his feelings. He said no because A: he knows his dad won't respond B: he's worried his dad will get mad at him. I told him even if he doesn't respond, J will at least feel better inside .. but he doesn't want to email him. He said maybe when he's 8? He'll be 8 in September. lol

Mrs. Jes, I think your dream shows what you truly know about him, deep down inside.
He has a nice, big wedding for the gf, but hardly no one shows up (except the witnesses) at yours and his=I think this shows that you are feeling that his emphasis is on her and not on you anymore. He dropped you on your face=because that is basically what he's done to you....dropped you....dropped J.
The face is a delicate part of the body, the part everyone looks at when they look at you... you hurt....and it shows.
The "forgetting" of the ring=shows that you feel he is either neglectful, forgetful, or that you must not be important enough in his eyes to warrant his remembering such a special thing.
The ring is the SYMBOL of the marriage. He tried giving you substitutes for the ring....
pencils with gems on them=not the real thing, and you can't wear them. (What do you have to show?)
If the ring he gave you at first looked like or was a "blue diamond" this is a very rare and very expensive diamond, much more so than the typical diamond....it most likely reflects what you WISHED it was.....not so much what you want the ring to be...but what you want(ed) in your marriage / relationship.....something REAl, Rare, and precious. But he was giving you the "appearance" of what you hoped for, but in actuality, in your heart, you know this, that it was NOT the real thing. It's a "promise" with conditions....but you hoped for a PROMISE. Make sense?
The mood ring color means:
violet-blue: happy, romantic
blue: calm, relaxed
These rings are VERY cheap. I'm wearing one on my thumb right now that I bought for $ 1.99.....

Sorry you are hurting. It is obviously bothering you to a certain degree as you have been in deep thought about several things concerning the relationship.
Yes, I have had MANY dreams about my ex (s)....it is quite normal hun....

Peace,

Thanks Shannon.. and bang on! I never thought of comparing the two dreams together. I also didn't realize there's such thing as a blue diamond. In my dream I thought he chose it because it's the colour of my birthstone, even though it was cut like a diamond (at first) but I didn't feel like it represented a "wedding" ring.. and couldn't help but feel disappointed. You're right. It was more to do with the symbolism rather than the ring itself.

As far as the dream went, I was getting married to a Mr. Wonderful who I was in love with, that wasn't my ex. The bigger emphasis of the dream was our dance and how it was shared mainly between us - a heartfelt one - until he dropped me on my face. Next "chapter" over I realized he hadn't given me a wedding ring during our vows and that's when Mr. Wonderful was replaced with my ex. He didn't actually forget to give me the ring, that was his excuse. The pencils were his way of convincing me that I didn't need one.. for whatever reason, and so I got mad.

Aside for not seeing the wedding ceremony my ex had with his gf (first dream), everything you've said is true. We were together for 6 years and most of it, if not all, was built on broken promises. We were engaged for the majority of it, post-poned our wedding 3 times. My engagement ring had been in and out of pawn shops so many times, it lost it's sentiment. By the end, I refused to even wear it. I guess in reality, I blame myself for believing in those promises when deep down I had my suspicions. And to clarify, he never did have any emphasis on me. There was always something better or more exciting to focus on .. sports, marijuana, friends, money, HIMSELF! I don't know, sometimes I feel like the reason why he's not in J's life is because he belongs to me. If I were to hear he had another child, that would only confirm how I feel.

LOL! I have strange dreams about my ex, too. Like...he's the leader of the bad guys from the 2nd season of 'LOST', trying to steal my baby. Too bad in real life he hasn't even seen his little son. Doesn't even want to...

quote:

Originally posted by miss jes:
I had a dream last night I was pretty upset about. I dreamt that my ex got married with his new gf and moved to another province with her. His distant family members (I've never met) called me to tell me and then had other family members come to my house for "free hotel" purposes. I had a room full of people I didn't even know, and they were all talking about things that had nothing to do with me. Ever dream about your ex??

I guess I'm upset with him right now because he's decided to walk out on his son. Reason being, he has a new gf who doesn't know he has a child. My son keeps talking about him, wondering why he doesn't call him or see him anymore. Yesterday we were in his neighbourhood and J asked if we could stop by his house so he could ask him. I said no to protect him but at the same time, I almost wanted to say yes. Why not confront him right? He's only 7 though and I don't want him to get anymore hurt then he already is.

Wow, the only dreams I have are nightmares, these pink bunnies are everywhere!!!

Just kidding, sometimes our dreams are our minds way to vent our fears, our desires, and other stuff we are not meant to understand. Sometimes the mind does it all at once making a wacky dream.

wow Shannon! That was really insightful and it makes sense.

quote:

Wow, the only dreams I have are nightmares, these pink bunnies are everywhere!!!

I don't know why... but that reminds me of the Teletubbie's land. what are the bunnies doing?



NewCavity, I wouldn't like to have that dream at all. That guy is creepy. I have these strange dreams where I'm floating out of my bed... sometimes it takes me places. Someone told me these are called lucid dreams. I started reading a little about them... then I'm not quite sure if I wanted to know more:P

I've had some really odd dreams involving my ex-wife. I did a bit of research into the symbolic meanings of everything (mind you, I'm Mr logic and science) and I was amazed by what I had found. Some of the best symbolic dream interpretation comes from eastern cultures.

Pay attention to the symbolisms that had the biggest emotional impact on you and do a little research.

I understand how you feel about your ex's attitude. I can see my wife grow more dista