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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Open Discussions This tickes me off|
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Board Beacon Parent |
Every so often I hear or read a comment (not here of course) that various problems are the result of all the "single parents". Like we're some sort of marauding bunch, recklessly spawning off delinquent children across the land
 OK, I feel better now. |
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"Professional Rubber At Your Service.... "At A loss for Words - NOT!  |
I so know what you mean, it's like some people put single parents/crack heads/and hookers all in the same catagory....Like oh poor Jimmy his dad is a hooked on crack and poor Peter, his mom is working the corner, and ohhh poor Lil Bobby, his dad is a single parent. Those kids are gonna have sooo many problems....such a damn shame! lol sorry but it ticks me off too.
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Board Blazen Parent |
Or that Sophie and I are now considered a "Broken Home".
Trust me... the "home" we were in was MUCH more "broken" than what we have right now. No more abuse. No more screaming. No more threats. No more isolation. Its like anything else. People haven't walked a mile in other people's shoes and can't relate... "Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is..." - C.S. Lewis  |
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"Professional Rubber At Your Service...." At A loss for Words - NOT! |
That is so true, people couldn't believe it when my mom finally left my dad after 23 years of marriage, but it got us out of a home of emotional and physical abuse. |
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"Least Fun Guy You Know" At A loss for Words - NOT!  |
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"Professional Rubber At Your Service...." At A loss for Words - NOT! |
You are right Fooser, there are plently of parents getting bored or being lazy and not working on their problems, no matter what the cause for a divorce it is a sad thing. Kids do miss out on a committed family, which is a sad thing. When you say someone that they don't really know, that makes me wonder how do you know when you really know someone? Like I'll take my parents for example, they knew each other since high school, knew each other's family and got married at 21. So I think they knew each other for 3/4 years before they got married. And from conversations with my mother my father wasn't physically abusive with her until after they were married. I'm sure she felt when she married him that she knew him. It just has my mind wondering how do you really "know" someone. You can know someone for years and not be aware of the fact that once you get married they are going to hit you and threaten to take your kid away and you'll never see them again if you leave them. So yeah my ramblings are,....how do you "really know" someone? |
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"Cabana King" At A loss for Words - NOT!  |
Not sure if this is what lead to the thread...but I did read the article... The only reasonable conclusion I can come to is that it's Hogwash.... Quote from article: Scafidi's calculations were based on the assumption that households headed by a single female have relatively high poverty rates, leading to higher spending on welfare, health care, criminal justice and education for those raised in the disadvantaged homes. The $112 billion estimate includes the cost of federal, state and local government programs, and lost tax revenue at all levels of government. The calculations were based on "assumption" and the 112 billion "estimate".... This was/is a worthless study and the results made to appease the fanatical religous and moral groups who sponsored it... Like the following.....the New York-based Institute for American Values, the Institute for Marriage and Public Policy, Families Northwest of Redmond, Washington, and the Georgia Family Council, an ally of the conservative ministry Focus on the Family. This study is full of carp and horrible misleading.... CNN should be ashamed of itself for labeling it single parents cost taxpayers 112b... It should have been headlined.."Crazy Religous Groups Sponsor BS Study" "Madness takes it toll....Please have exact change." |
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"Professional Rubber At Your Service...." At A loss for Words - NOT! |
LOL Have I told you lately that I love your input? You crack me up, and well I only read part of the article and then was like whatever and pretty much felt the same way as you, hogwash, such a lovely word!  |
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Board Blazen Parent |
Fooser, Fooser, Fooser...
You really have very little emotional intelligence don't you? You know... kinda hard to get a clue on how your responses might be "inappropriate" perhaps given the audience and purpose of this board? Well... like I have said before. Committed family hardly equals healthy family. Some of the most messed up people out there come from families that were committed to sticking together in a very bad relationship. No thanks. Like you... I think most of the people here would have preferred and expected to have had a relationship that was much different than what it ended up being. Many are much more optimistic than they should be. And trust me... most here probably already beat themselves up enough about their choices which lead them and their child to this place in their lives. People certainly don't need your condemnation for mistakes they may have made or been a part of. And yes, thank you for stating the profoundly obvious, that people would prefer to have a wonderful family for themselves and their children. Why do you think we are on here half the time expressing how much we want one and how we are going about learning from our mistakes in order to find one? Go somewhere else with your guilt and shame that you like flinging around. Beat yourself up for your poor choices buddy, we have enough here for ourselves already. While you are at it... ask yourself this... given your circumstances and how they have turned out. Was it better for you to have been a part of that child's life at all now that you know you are never going to have what you thought you would have? Real life isn't ideal. So you might as well get over it... man up... and take it for what it is. [/ overprotective mode] "Surely what a man does when he is taken off his guard is the best evidence for what sort of man he is..." - C.S. Lewis |
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"Faith is sooo yummy!" At A loss for Words - NOT!  |
Funny GM, this is something I talk about often. A decade or so ago I watched a tv movie about Joseph List. Robert Blake and Beverly D'Angelou starred in it. He was from Westfield NJ and one day killed his mother, his wife, his teeneage daughter and son. He changed his name, moved to Washington, got remarried and had a son. He 2nd wife was watching America's Most Wanted one night and to her horror realized that was her husband.... As she grabbed her son and ran to a phone booth to call police I wonder what she thougt 'But it has been ten years' Or the first wife as he killed her 'But it has been 20 years' When can you exhale? If you think you can, or you think you cant - you are right. |
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"Faith is sooo yummy!" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
very well put Knight If you think you can, or you think you cant - you are right. |
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"Cabana King" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
QUOTE]very well put Knight[/QUOTE]
I second that motion.....Knight gets a GOLD STAR today... Now where's Bin today...his puppy is messing on the floor again.... Oh maybe he's off buying that shock collar... "Madness takes it toll....Please have exact change." |
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"Cabana King" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
Do you know often I hear that from women...??...ah nevermind.... Thank You......I aim to please.... "Madness takes it toll....Please have exact change." |
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"Submarine Board Parent (surfacing occasionally)" Forum Board? No- KeyBoard!  |
HEY!! He's not mine... Ok, seriously, some people really ARE just "emotionally unintelligent", to paraphrase Knight. And if they're feeling helpless about their own situation then they tend vent in all sorts of inappropriate ways. So sad....
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"I need more COWBELL!" Board Blazen Parent  |
I completely agree with GM. In my situation i thought I knew my ex. He was a GREAT guy and then all of the sudden (after getting me pregnant because he wanted to have a child with me) flipped and decided that he didn't have any feelings for me anymore and they had moved on to someone else that he had known for all of two weeks. You never know who anyone is fully. You know what you think you know of them but you can only completely and fully know yourself (and sometimes I wonder about that
) You just have to take what life hands you and go with it. Even though I dislike this path at sometimes and I have a long road ahead of me since my child has 5 more months before it is even born I take it for what it is worth. I'm not going to live my life thinking that any of this is a regret or that I should have gotten to known my ex better before this happened because this baby is a blessing and has changed my life emensely for the better and know that I am going to do the best that I can as a PROUD single parent.
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"Professional Rubber At Your Service...." At A loss for Words - NOT! |
I second that motion.....Knight gets a GOLD STAR today... Now where's Bin today...his puppy is messing on the floor again.... Oh maybe he's off buying that shock collar...[/QUOTE] I third that motion. |
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"Professional Rubber At Your Service...." At A loss for Words - NOT! |
With your experience.....you're still "aiming"?? lol  |
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"Professional Rubber At Your Service...." At A loss for Words - NOT! |
You know many years ago I'd be shocked but after the **** my family has been through (yes I am sooo emotionaly scarred for life!) it's just like yeah that's crazy, and would so ****. |
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| <FooserX>
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Well for one thing, I think anyone getting married in their early twenties is just setting themselves up for failure. Sure it might work out, but this is the time when kids are leaving the nest, going to college, exploring, sorting out their priorities in life etc. Most importantly...people are changing at this age. You can't know "know" someone in High School because they have not even developed into their own yet. Just my thoughts on your parents situation. Also, I don't know your parents...who's to say there weren't signs there that she ignored? You don't learn about this stuff either until you're older with experience....so yeah...it's all connected. |
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| <FooserX>
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No. Knowing how things turned out, I most definitely would NOT have been involved with my wife, or her son. It's emotionally damaging to me, her, and most of all...my son. He would have been better off not growing up in a loving house, committed family...just to have it break apart. What's he learn? Who knows...but I'm sure he just got a first hand dose of "it's okay to quit on marraige" even at 5 years old. His life now is defining his views on love and commitment when he grows up. I'm not condemning anyone. Heck, I ignored painfully obvious signs that my wife was mental lol. I dove right in and was S-T-U-P-I-D. I'm 100% accountable for my poor decision, and it's impact on my son now. |
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