QUOTE � I wonder daily if, before single-parent families erupted as the 'almost norm', were they better off? Were they happier? Were those children promised a better life? Future? I don't know.�


Was it better when a man and a woman got married for life, for good or worse�
Was it better when a woman had to get married in a hurry when she found out she was pregnant�.
Was it better when the woman stayed at home and the man went to work, and that was enough to make a living�
Was it better for the children ?
Was it better for the man ?
Was it better for the woman ?
Was there the same amount of conflict, just that it stayed within the own 4 walls ?

Red,
Was it really better?
I think sometimes ... maybe.
BUT .. then I look back and see ....
How unhappy my mother was because she felt a duty and felt trapped.
How tired my grandmother was because she took my grandfathers abuse, bore 11 children because she did her wifely duty and kept her mouth shut.
I see women (and men) my mother's age and older getting divorced now, because their children are older and have families of their own. Now they can begin their life at 60+
I hear stories from women and men in the salon everyday ... "If only I had the guts.. the means.. the will " I would not be in this mess.
These are the people that raised this generation .. of us ... People like myself are crippled by the same sense of duty ... until death do we part..but in the aftermath of it all realize in this day and time we have options that are more socially acceptable and we do not have to endure the life long pain of unhappiness.

For your question .. were things better? In some sense maybe ... it was not so easy to part ways. It forced those who had small differences to work it out. However for those who had large differences or problems .. it forced them to endure the pain.
I choose to teach my daughter that she should be careful in her choices for life partners and getting pregnant. I teach her is is not a necessity in life to stay in an unhappy situation because society or anyone else says so.

Hi Red and Carla, I hope you are both well.

I think, living in the now adays is best. Women now at least have choices to make when they feel used, abused, neglected, unloved, disrespected, and unapprectiated. In the old days a good man was someone who worked, didn't beat you and came home to sleep and eat. Back then if a child went bad, it was the mom's fault. I don't expect everyone to agree with this....a lot of women probably had it great. A lot of men had the additional responsibility of having to be money manager back then. It's the choices women didn't have because of social stigma they might of had to endure if they left their husband back then. Men too, had the burden of being sole supporter of the family. (sound familiar) I think I would rather have choices and opportunity to get jobs and education than stay in a horrible marriage. (I know you are not just talking about horrible marriages but that is just worse case scenario)

I don't know if other things were better or worse but as far a discipline I think it was better, back then if the kids disobeyed parents had the right to smack their little behinds now days you touch them and people yell abuse, no wonder we have so many "my 8 year old is out of control" talk shows.