HI i have been on this site a few times and decided that i would love to say hi, i have 3 boys and 2 ex's, my second ex gave sperm for 3rd child who is 10 months now. Have been seperated for 3 and half months in which i have gone from mental breakdown to woooohoooo i am so much better being on my own. He hasnt seen boys since leaving and at this point i am asking him to sign away access to everything, considering he never wanted him in the first place...he mainly left because i had a baby. Anyone have any opinions on whether this is the right thing??? He has only today told me that he would like to see him but never mentioned it prior. My older boys adored him and viewed him as their dad, to which he allowed and has asked how they are but not the baby.

Welcome!

Hey Singlemum,
Welcome to the "Nuthouse".

No doubt if you visited before, you know what to expect around here and if you've come back, that means we didnt scare ya! LOL

Wow right now i am sooo very angry, it happens alot with freckles and red hair but at this moment im so appreciative that you guys took the time to reply, i have read most responses and wow you both are amazing people for all the understanding that you portray. I so want to reach that level of blah im a fandilliastic parent but well i have seen so much damage done to my older chickens that i allowed (trusted the father) i dont want to put the baby through it. My parents have commented about the fact i should of been born in the OLDEN DAYS"you make concrete you stick to the pole in which you gathered no matter what" (my parents consist of my mum and non-biological pa(who has never wanted kids but im the princess and my kids are the way above being a princess)) I feel bad about whinging but no matter what they all know they are my life, yes that may be selfish, me putting that stigma on them, i dont depend on them emotionally but i inform them that yes they are my life because they are. Geez im carrying on because i hate that i allowed someone to get that close to them and i hate the fact that they trust everyone like me. How do you stop trusting people and how do you explain to your children about shrugging **** told away.

perhaps it is easier for the ex to connect with the older kids simply because they are older. I've found that some (not all) men have a hard time relating to babies and get more involoved when the kids gets more to a rough housing throw around age. However, that shouldn't excuse him from not even inquiring about his son.

I certainly would understand your desire to keep your son away from him - in my opinion no father is better than the rare and "when i feel like it" father, but that is just my opinion

good luck either way

quote:

Originally posted by BASICALLYAMY:
I think trusting people is a wonderful quality to have. I tend to trust people until they give me a reason not to but I have a friend that doesn't trust ANYBODY.........

Not me, for example, I wont trust AMY around my buddies that are PRO ball players...LOL

I see nothing wrong with letting your children know that your life revolves around them as long as they understand that just because they ARE your life doesn't mean they get to RUN your life.

Well state AMY, for example...my kids know I left my whole family behind for them...but at the same time they KNOW I'm running things.

I always say it this way:

"What a horrible thing...to teach your children...that nothing else is more important then them".