I babysit and 7 year old little girl. Her parents are divorced and in the beginning I only had to deal with her mom, which I really like. But lately her Dad has been taking her more which means I have to deal with him alot. I don't really know him and to be honest, I don't tend to trust most guys (Sorry guys) and didn't really enjoy having him in my house. Anyways, I got over it and it's fine, but lately he has been texting me. In the beginning it was innocent stuff, how are ya, cute kids, ect. But now it's a little less innocent you looked good today, nice smile ect. Then this morning he told me I looked sexy. Now this was 5:45 in the morning and I had just crawled out of bed, so I was FAR from sexy. But it is really starting to make me uncomfortable. I have told him that and it doesn't seems to stop him. I talked to her mom, and she said she would talk to him, still hasn't stopped. I don't know what to do, I really need the money that I get from watching her, so I don't want to bug her mom about it again. (she is the one who pays me) What should I do to get the weirdo to stop texting me?

is changing your number a possiblity? even though it really shouldnt have to go that far. did you tell him in a text that this made you uncomfortable or in person? I know i'm not one for confortation but when it comes down to it i will. Maybe not responding to him when he says things like that, or just giving him that "evil death stare" LOL that tends to work. and even if u have to become a bi@tch to him its the mom who pays you. I'm not sure what else to suggest, thats a tuff situation being that you dont want to give up watching the little girl. i hope he gets the point soon! bc its just not called for!

Can you block his number from your phone? That might help, and simply being a stone wall to him when he comes to drop her off or pick her up might help. Don't even be friendly to him. I know that sounds harsh, but his actions don't deserve friendly anymore.

Hope that helps, and I hope the situation gets better.

Personally, if I had told the man straight out that I didn't want him to continue to make comments like that, I wouldn't let him in my house. He has some boundary issues that you don't have to put up with. I really think the mother of the child needs to know that this is still going on. It's her responsibility to either make him stop or make other arrangements to pick the kids up. Money or not, you dont need this guy coming to your house if he cant behave appropriately. Just my opinion.

I actually have a friend whose husband used to smack me on the butt once in a while. The first couple times it happened I just called him a pig and gave him a dirty look. The last time it happened I told him if it happened again I was gonna break his nose. He never did it again, and we are still friends.

There's nothing wrong with setting your own boundaries.

You can try talking again to either her or him...
reply to a message with just the words stop it...or something like that, or just ignore him and hope he takes a hint.

I have tried to be nice, by telling him that I am not in a place where I ready to date, and that he makes me uncomfortable because I have "issues" with men. But he is not getting the hint. I haven't been responding to his texts for over a week, and I always have his daughter ready and kinda shove her out the door when he gets there so that he doens't come in. I will never let him in my house again, a little too scary for me. I have to have the money to survive. I am only watching her until July because I am moving and if I stopped watching her sooner I would have to move early and take my son out of school, which is not an option for me. Normally if ya tell a guy ya have issues they run for the hills, why not this guy?

quote:

Originally posted by 4strong:..... Normally if ya tell a guy ya have issues they run for the hills, why not this guy?

Cause he's a freak and a creep and that's one of the reasons he's divorced!

Send him a formal text just like this:

"You are receiving this text as a official notification that incoming texts to this number are being recorded as part of evidence in an ongoing stalking investigation. Contact : (local police number) for further details."

Send it 3x a day for one week...save it as a quick text.

When and IF he asks you about it, say..."Yep, I've had to deal with men like you before. I dont play games, I dont have time for it.".

See if that works.

It sounds like you have to tell this guy in no uncertain terms: "I am not interested in you and you are not welcome here except to pick up your child and please do not text me." Honestly--some people dont get subtle or even overt rejection. You gotta say it in plain English. Whether you do that in person or by text is up to you. If it continues after that, it's harrasment.

Love that text idea Paul. Here is something I wanna share, Here in Philly there is a reject hotline number. It is a number to give to someone who asks for your number but you really don't want them to have it, If you have long distance call it because it is hysterical....the number is: 215-618-1505.
Sometimes it is busy, just try back, I promise you it will make you laugh. Jen.

paul is right 100% believe it or not this guy has no balls step into his face he will back down hes looking to pray on an insecure girl ive been in the exact position and i was 23 and cried in the cornor of my kitchen and now at 37 id kick him but wouldnt have to just read your intuition youll mess him up intelectually'cause he wont expect you to have any self esteem trust me make him the rabbit in tour lair you are your own king dont let him think for one second he is intimadating you never mind the wife she may already be intimidated hold your breath and be strong for you no one is bigger than you believe it and your 6 foot 7 270 lbs good luck i hate him myself and everyone like that please be strong i remember the lousy feeling !!!!god like yesturday keep me posted im here

quote:

Originally posted by gwendolynne:
paul is right 100% believe it or not this guy has no balls step into his face he will back down hes looking to pray on an insecure girl ive been in the exact position and i was 23 and cried in the cornor of my kitchen and now at 37 id kick him but wouldnt have to just read your intuition youll mess him up intelectually'cause he wont expect you to have any self esteem trust me make him the rabbit in tour lair you are your own king dont let him think for one second he is intimadating you never mind the wife she may already be intimidated hold your breath and be strong for you no one is bigger than you believe it and your 6 foot 7 270 lbs good luck i hate him myself and everyone like that please be strong i remember the lousy feeling !!!!god like yesturday keep me posted im here

Dang Gwen! I want some of what you got!!

Wait..unless it's ovaries! ...no, I dont want ovaries! forget it....strike that...Ok ....I'm leavin. Where's the door...DOOR?!!

Hey,

I gotta offer an alternate explanation here...

It could be that this guy just doesn't know what he's doing. I work with so many dorks, and I've seen what happens when they try to talk to women. Omg they try so hard, but they so often end up creeping out the women, embarrassing themselves, or etc...

Anyway...I can't know *exactly* what the situation is with this guy...but if he just got divorced, he may just be feeling insecure and out of practice approaching women. Really...he may think really think that you're just playing saying "No" to play around and actually enjoying the attention. Just a thought...

Heh...I still agree a direct statement of rejection is the rememdy for this...just saying the guy could be awkward rather than evil...

Later,
Bobby

haha Jen the rejection hotline is awesome! "Playing leapfrog with unicorns" lmao!
Thanks for the laugh!

--Mel

quote:

Anyway...I can't know *exactly* what the situation is with this guy...but if he just got divorced, he may just be feeling insecure and out of practice approaching women. Really...he may think really think that you're just playing saying "No" to play around and actually enjoying the attention. Just a thought...

Well, the reason he got divorced was for cheating on his wife MANY times, so yeah, he is EVIL! And Jen that hotline is hilarious! I love it!

So, he continued with the disgusting text messages up until this morning, so I told him I would get to police involved next time and he still did it, so I sent Pauls message word for word and I haven't heard anything from him since and it's been almost 2 hours!! So hopefully this will work! Thanks PJ good idea!

Nothing like this has ever happend to me before, I know they are just texts but I feel so violated!

just save the texts girl in case he acts stupid, some people are irrepressable with their stupidity. Luck

quote:

Originally posted by 4strong:
Well, the reason he got divorced was for cheating on his wife MANY times, so yeah, he is EVIL!

Heh...ok, you've convinced me of his villiany Can't say I didn't try ....