I was in a semi- serious relationship with a guy. After we found out I was pregnant he didn't seemed worried. He said whatever you want to do I am here for you. Fast forward I decide to keep the baby (he talked about abortion) and I moved back to Ohio to be with my family. We don't talk anymore his mother has told him to not talk to me until he knows for sure he is the father. What ****! And while his family is very wealthy he won't become involved at all which is ok. But I don't want him to want to be a dad after the baby is born... I am due in late June. I am also worried that I won't get any child support because he doesn't really work and his wealthy parents pay for everything... Can anyboy help me out with advice for him to want to be a part of our daughter's life...or at least pay child support...

Thanks so much for your advice. I am not mad at him or frustrated I just don't understand not being an adult and taking responsibility. I will always welcome him with an open heart for my daughter. As with anyone who has children they should always come first and that is what I am doing. Why are some guys so afraid of parenthood? Yes sure its scary but thats life...I just want him to step uo to the plate. Even if he strikes out at least he's trying... thanks again for the advice. I live in Oklahoma now... and because I am Native American they are helping with everything.

his family may turn around if paternity is confirmed... or just after the baby is born. .... my ex's parents put up a big stink when i got pregnant. threatened to disown my ex, demanded paternity, and tried to convince me to put him up for adoption (even tried calling my mother, like i was a kid that needed to be straightened out)

Once tobi was born they turned around completely - now they are my biggest allies and would kill me ex if they new he hadn't paid CS yet this month....

unfortunately, i think for you right now, there is no way of really making any decisions of that nature until some more time passes. I say, be prepared to be going it alone, look into child care subsidiaries, WIC, medi-care for the baby if you don't have means to pay for insurance. and good luck

I never asked for child support. I believe that It might be better for me not to get too dependant on child support.
My son's father contributed twice to my son. Once, when my son was born, his father paid half of the fees, (only at the hospital, not leading up to it) and secondly when my son had to have minor surgery, again, he paid half. Somehow he has not considered the expenses, including schooling, that I have had for the last 4+ years.
I send him updates and photos hoping to spark some interest for my son. Just so that my son will have someone that he could say, "that's my daddy".
In addition, I console myself by saying I do not have to deal with conflicts raising him.
His father keps promising to come visit but has not seen him in over 2 years. Is it me or can I guess that he is NOT coming.
Either way, I have a beautiful son and would not change him for the world.

quote:

RachelN

To RachelN
Does his family know about you? The baby?

Yes his family knows about me and the baby. Let me explain a little bit. Since I am native american all the health expenses are paid for both of us. Thank god for my heritage and Oklahoma. They also pay for all my school and housing support. His parents are VERY wealthy I am talking multiple million dollar HOMES. He however is a spoiled 24 yr. old who I haven't spoken to since I left Florida. His parents have said they plan to cooperate fully and also will help with expenses for the baby. I know they will they are good Christian people. What I don't understand is we had a very good open relationship and why he can't even pick up the phone and see how I am doing or want to know about the baby...His parents are trying to protect him by saying don't talk to me which I think is very strange. Why wouldn't he want to be part of his childs life when he cares so much about everything else. I am worried though that since he doesn't have a real job, I won't get vany child support. He is a Pro golfer that never enters in any tournaments and doesn't make any money. However, I have my case opened so immediately when the baby is born we can establish paternity (for his peace of mind) and I will be trying to collect child support. I just wonder if he will ever want to be a part of his daughter's life....

During my first divorce I was in court on child support / spousal support and the case before mine had a guy with like 24 different cases against him! So some guys just don't get it and don't care.

By the way I was the one getting child support.

I too am a new member. I am 6 months pregnant and I don't really know what to do myself. My child's father has been in and out of my life from the beginning of my pregnancy. He is a 28-year old mamma's boy and he has a temporary job that pays very very little $. I think if I took him for child support I would get about 50$ a month for child support and I just don't know if it is worth taking off from work to even persue it. Not to mention he has 2 other children, one of whom he has NEVER done anything for. His other 2 children are boys and I am pregnant with a girl. When we found out I was having a girl his comment was "Now I can be a father". Anyway, he is very fickle. One minute he wants to be with me and in our daugheters life, and the next minute he doesn't want to be bothered with me and for me to call him only if he needs to buy pampers. I am very emotional with this pregnancy and it really hurts when he acts that way. I don't know how to pull myself away from him or the situation while I am pregnant.

Exactly. When I asked him exactly what you just asked he said, it's different being a father to a girl than being a father to boys. Either way, I got on him about that, but he is just SAD.

I am just trying to find a way out.

These guys and their ways are just frustrating to me. Wow, I thought 3 was a lot for him to have. But 7, I am at a loss for words with that one. I guess, these guys will do what we allow them to do. My biggest problem right now is that I am emotionally attached to him still and I know I need to just leave the situation alone and just be the best mom I can be, but with my hormones going crazy like they are and my emotions going wild, I feel like I need him. Now that is sad. He doesn't provide anything for me financially or emotionally (most times).

Thanks. I really needed to hear that, right now, it is encouraging.

Basicallyamy- I used to live pretty close to canton as well!! Just thought I would shout out to someone from my hometown

Rachel -

I live in Oklahoma as well - halfway between OKC and Norman.

Find your nearest Tribal WIC office and go apply for services! The Oklahoma WIC program only covers Carnation GoodStart formula, where the Tribal WIC office will give you whatever kind you ask for - and they GIVE YOU THE STUFF right there, not vouchers. You get a lot more help from them, especially if you decide to nurse, than you do from the regular WIC. My daughter couldn't drink GoodStart and the regular WIC office wouldn't cover Similac because they said it was "comparable". That's complete BS, it's nowhere close, but we had to go to a Tribal WIC office to get it. She eventually couldn't even take the regular Similac and we had to put her on Alimentum or Nutramigen ($23 a can!) but since that was a special kind of formula the regular WIC office would cover it.

And Amy was right, the lowest they can calculate child support for is minimum wage at a 40hr/wk job, because the courts would say he is capable of working a min wage job. Your local CSED office will help you with the paperwork, DNA testing, and collection for free. Contact your local DHS office for info an application or go to OK DHS WEBSITE for an application. They just started giving out debit Mastercards for direct deposit of your CS funds instead of writing paper checks anymore. It's a LOT easier.

Good luck, and if you need any help, just send me a msg on mspace.

Thanks Angela...I already started my application packet thankfully Indian Health Services is healping out a lot put I didn't know there was Tribal WIC. I am breastfeeding or rather will be breastfeeding but I will have to pump some of the time because I am a full time student! What Tribal WIC do you go to? I am about 15 min away from OKC! Thanks for all your help.