I met my husband a little over 3 yrs ago. He moved down from the midwest. I knew nothing except for what he told me. Into our relationship I found out he was married but wanted a divorce. He moved 2000 miles away from her and all his family. On the couple of occassions I saw his family they were drunk and the women were rude but I thought well I don't have to deal with them much. I knew my husband had 2 DUIs as he had to go for counseling to get his pharmacy license here in FL. About 14 months into our relationship I got pregnant. We go married when I was 4 and 1/2 months pregnant. He got out of monitoring 1 yr early (1 month before we married). After our marriage he turned into a full fledged drunk (passing out) but he always went to work and seemed to function. He told me that he knew he couldn't do it after the baby came so he was getting out of his system. Guess what? That didn't happen. He almost dropped our son on numberous occassions, kicked him in the head, etc. I turned to his mother a new found pastor for help but she made it worse. Come to find out she too has had a past alcohol problem, dad's a drunk, brother's a drunk, and sister is a bar fluzy every chance she gets. No wonder he shelter me from them. I would have ran like my pants were on fire. My son became constipated at about 3 months. Nothing helped except rectal stimulation. The pediatrician acted like this just happens sometimes. Then my 17 y.o. that stayed to help me after I had the baby said that when I would go to work, my husband would go off drinking, come home, take the baby into the bathroom for 30-40 min and then give him back to her and go back out. She then refused to watch the baby while he was home but I didn't know why. That wasn't proof but I was suspicious, I saw that during my pregnancy he googled gay men *** ****. He claims he was looking for something from a radio station. I looked up symptoms of sexual abuse in infants so I'd know what to watch for. A few weeks later the constipation resolved so I thought that we may have been a little over board. A month later I became lethargic (Oct-Jan) and our son started having tremors. We both went to the Dr. and they say nothing wrong. I was told that it was just a part of being a new mother. I knew something was wrong because I'd sleep almost all day. We went to marriage counseling and blamed me for everything with his family. He would even tell me his mother was perfect, the nicest lady in the world, I was crazy and made things up to get my way (she didn't even congratulate me when I had the baby), I was mean, and that his mother was the most beautiful woman, etc. CRAZY!!! What man talks like that about his mother? The counsler told me I was in an abusive situation but I was afraid to leave for fear that he'd hurt our son. I never let him be alone with him for more that a few minutes!! He kept telling me that he wanted alone time with the baby. This made me feel real ery! I finally told him I wasn't competing with his mother but I didn't want to be a part of their twisted relationship. He was furious. I've called the cops numerous times so that I could leave the house. He'd pin me in a room and not let me out. Then in Feb he started hollaring at me telling me that he wanted us to leave, he was tired of me, etc. He woke up the baby. Then he left the room and returned telling me that he knew I wanted to hurt his family, that I hated them, what do you want to do to us? I tried to leave and he wouldn't let me. He started calling me crazy, crazy, crazy so that I'd get upset and loud so he could say I was irrational. Then he started saying stop, don't hit me, you alway hit me. I called 911 and he pulled out a recorder and threatened to tell them I hit him so I had to stay that night.The next day I left and went to our marriage counseler. I asked if he had told my husband to record our arguments like he had said and he said no, you should leave. So I did. But the next day I went home. My husband was knocking on the bedroom door b/c it was locked and said he didn't do that. He had a crazy look in his eyes so I told him that me and Jake were going to get food and left at 10pm. He tried to get me to come home and he had changed the locks, put a key lock on the bedroom door, and placed land line phones in the cabinets. I got in from a neighbor. It was as if he was going to lock me the room. My attorney tells me this won't matter to a judge and that he'd probably get unsupervised visitation but I'm scared to death. He's crazy! To make thing worse I found out that he's gotten 3 DUIs (not 2) and misdameanor for driving while license suspended. I've seen drugs he's stolen from work but hasn't gotten caught. I need to protect my son but it seems like the courts are in the bad guys favor. Does anyone have any suggestions? Doesn't it seem like he drugged me.

P.S. He, his mom, and sister all talked about Baker Acting his ex brother in law. And he was in for 27 days. I heard his mom tell her to get a recorder. Strange?

Hello and welcome to the site.

This is one of the scariest stories I've read in a long time. It sounds like you need to leave now.

Unless FL is *very* different than MA, the courts are not in the bad guys favor. All it takes here is for a woman to say, "My husband threatened me and I'm afraid of him" and the cops will remove him from the house and provide a restraining order until the court date. I'd say 1 out of 10 times I've seen this happen, the guy didn't even do anything wrong but the courts are *very* cautious about erring on the woman's side.

Contact a women's shelter in your area, and they will tell you how to make you and your baby safe. There are other woman on this site that may be able to help you more.

Bobby

My first advice is GET A NEW ATTORNEY!! That is the craziest thing I've ever heard!!! My ex has supervised visits and he's never had a DUI and I don't have nearly HALF the horrible stories that you have! Also, my attorney had told me that when DUI and stuff like that is on record, it's VERY easy to get supervised visits. Plus, the courts usually make you go for an intense mental evaluation. The courts need to know in details all the sick psycho things he's done that could have harmed not only yourself but your child as well. Courts do everything they can to protect children. While they believe strongly in the father being a part of a child's life, they also would not put a child in harm's way. It was not difficult for me to get the supervised visits only. Especially after we demanded all his hospital/counseling/medical records which clearly showed he had "issues"! Maybe you need a new attorney, one who specializes in custody issues and one who is much more aggressive. BEST of luck and I hope things work out for you.

First of all welcome to the site.

Holy cow! I'd second the advice to get a new attorney...one who knows what they're talking about. If you documented these incidents then you have grounds to stand on. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this, but it's time to get out and move forward. You need to leave this guy as soon as possible if you haven't already. Contact the shelters and see what they can do to help protect you and your child. I know the ones we refer women to are "hidden" so that no one can find them. We don't even know where they are located, just the contact information. Please get help immediately this situation sounds incredibly dangerous for you and your son. Good luck and keep us posted.

I can tell you something I learned about Florida from one of our most esteemed members. That place is scary when it comes to court decisions and the welfare of the children.
Don't do anything too over the top but do what you need to protect yourself and the baby.