I am the office manager of a small business, with a receptionist who is a single mother of a 2 year-old, who places her child in the care of her boyfriend's mother while she is at work. She works about 32 hrs/week. Every other week I experience attendance issues with her, mostly around around her son being sick and having to go to the doctor (ear infection, rash, etc.) Or with her care-provider being unable to take care of him. I have told her irregular hours cause us problems and that I am going to have to start taking disciplinary, but want to be sensitive to her situation. When she says, "I have to go home, he's sick again." what do I say? I can't just say, "okay, hope he feels better." There is no backup for her position. How have you guys negotiated sick kids and work?

In my eyes there is no negotiation. If I have to choose between my son and my job, my son wins 100% of the time. Being a manager I understand your position. I would sit down and talk to her and see what solutions you can come up with-alternative babysitters, job sharing. I have only missed one day of work in the last year-knock on wood that my son is healthy. I have also had to bring my son into work with me for a whole day, when his babysitter canceled unexpectedly. I would sit down and present it with a "How can I help you" attitude.

I agree with Pann on this one. I have told my boss I was leaving and if he didn't like it fire me. My son and his health comes before anyone and everything. I have had to take many trips to the doctor this year and it's not fun, but as a single parent, there is no other choice.

As far as the "care-provider" situation, have you offered to let her bring him to work for short periods? I have done this with Trey, and I will set him up at a computer and let him watch movies etc etc. It's not ideal, but it works in a pinch.

As far as "disciplinary actions" what do you mean? You need to be very careful in that situation because I do believe that it is illegal to remove someone from their position due to "health issues" be it theirs or their child's. I know that it is a frustrating and a touchy issue, but again this goes back to discrimination and why you are not allowed to ask marital status, age, if they have children etc etc in an interview. Life is already hard enough on single parents, please be delicate when dealing with this situation.

-J

Actually if you are in an at-will state you can fire them for any reason or without a reason. I work in such a state.

As for having unreliable child care....yes I would be upset as an employer if it happened on a regular basis. She should be looking for reliable care for her child or a backup child care situation for such days. Its an expectation as well in many industries that you know about hospital programs for sick children and have two childcares that you know your child can attend. I can't say that its always been something I've been able to do either...and I pay extra for a licensed daycare because they are rated on how many days they have taken off with no notice to their clients.

As for disciplining your employee because of her child's sick days...I would have to say...you hired a mother and she will pick her child first. An employer should not expect a parent not too just as an employee should not expect you to overlook inadequate daycare arrangements.

Also...if she has started work for you in the last 90 days....children tend to react badly to change and often do get sick upon their primary care giver taking a new job. The stress (even good stress) upon a household is felt by them too and can weaken their immune system. I've seen it time and time again with my children. Trust me...if my kids are gonna be sick its gonna be when a major life change or time of stress is happening (like my finals week!).

If she's worked there for a year she may have rights under FMLA laws when her son or herself are ill. You need to check those before mentioning any sort of discipline related to health. I would also mention them as any good employer would not want a bad reputation being spread about not making her aware and then eventually firing her.

Having been in this situation myself many times here is what most managers do

1. Verbal warning, discuss available alternatives to rectify the situation, specify what will warrant further acton

2. Written warning, discussing what actions she has decided to take to rectify the situation or what you have offered (kind of a 'mentoring session') with a target date or specifications of what will warrant another offense

3. Second written warning, discussing what needs haven't been met since first written warning

4. Dismissal

Oh and many companies insurance will not cover liability for allowing children in the workplace...again its usually dependent on the size of the company and how lenient you can be.

Thanks for all the advice! This very much helps. FYI, she has been with for a year, and I have been discussing this with her for quite some time. By "disciplinary action" I mean written warnings. She is a receptionist at a small firm, and bringing him to work just simply isn't an option. And the reason that I am having such a hard time with this is because she often remarks how she needs this job...quitting and then finding something else that can accommodate her (obviously significant) needs would impose a financial hardship.

Dependent on what "small firm" means.....FMLA usually doesn't apply for certain smaller companies.

Perhaps you could advise her to begin looking for something else during her lunch breaks if she isn't willing to make appropriate care arrangements.

I'm lucky on this one my job allows for some time to be a telecommuter

Not knowing what your company does or what her position intails I would offer her this role

a simple vpn would allow her to still access her needed software for your company and for most bussiness a phone can be forwarded to a cell phone.....

Sometimes its better to be flexable to keep a good employee

I would eventually be looking for a new sitter or better job, what ever was the most cost effective thing for me to do if I were her.

As for if I were you, I would try and see if you could come up with some creative solutions to the issues.

I have been in the situation of living in a city where I had absolutely no family support and was working full time with one child.

I did have to take time off when my daughter was sick. No way around that, and the obvious choice to stay home with a sick kid. HOWEVER, that meant for me that I did not take sick time for myself (I would have had to have been dieing). I also showed up on time, left on time, and worked my butt of while I was there.
In that case, I think an employer is more apt to understand if you have to take the day off.

Additionally, I had a daycare full time and made arrangements with 3 different alternates in the case of unexpected emergencies. Childcare is NOT an excuse to miss work.