My son is 12 years old now and I feel like he's a different kid than the one I raised.We have always been pretty close,it's just the two of us,he's father isn't around.We live with my mother.I thought we had a pretty good relationship.I go to all his ball games and even to some practices.He's a straight A student who never gives anyone problems of any kindf.Lately he back talks a little but I thought that was just a growing up thing.It seems like there are things going on with him that he doesn't want to talk to me about.I don't think it's anything really bad or dangerous ,at least I hope not,but I just feel that he's pulling away from me.His school has a trip to Dollwood coming up soon and I thought I would try to go with him,I was going to go with one of the other moms.He wants to go with the school,without me,and run around the amusement park with a few friends and no adult.He's 12 and in the 6th grade.I just think that is way to young.Am I wrong? Is this one of those boys growing up things or should I start to worry? I ask about how his day went or about his friends,if he has a girlfriend,and it's like "Mom,none of the other moms ask all these questions" or "no,nothing is going on".Is this normal?If it is,what comes next? HELP!!!!!!!

i certainly don't have a teenager or preteen, and so all my advice is in theory...

my guess is it is pretty normal, but i would try to arrange casual time for you two to talk. take him to dinner, just the two of you or go out bowling. all kids feel like it is only their mothers that ask all the questions, but almost all mothers do. those years are really hard to my recollection of being in 6th grade at least..



hope someone has better advice than me

It's a normal part of adolescence to try and define yourself and develop an identity of your own. It sounds like your son is a pretty responsible kid. Maybe you could talk to him about it, and agree to help him have some space on appropriate things while still defining which things are not appropriate. Does that make sense? My mom and I were super close, but from about age 12-16, I was very secretive and didn't want to tell her alot. I'm pretty sure I would not have wanted her to go on a class field trip with me. Very un-cool. But if you give him the impression that you are respecting the fact that he is growing up a bit, maybe he'll stop pushing away so hard.

Hmmm...ok this is a tough one...cause I've got a couple of perspectives here.

My son is going on 17 soon, and although he doesnt tell me a lot, he was home schooled so I already knew.

If you havent yet, you need to set aside weekly time to be talking to your kids, but here's the thing...it doesnt have to be deep, heavy subjects...start on just lite stuff...music, movies, future plans...new kids in school. They need to know youre gonna be just cool to talk with. With girls you ladies can use your own judgement although having 2 girls I can tell you that they respond better to have strict rules and you NOT bending on them.

Boys? well, unless you have taken the time while they were growing up to breech sensitive subjects and have regular chat sessions with them, now is normally going to be a very unfruitful time to start.

Geez, I should start a section on just boys on the forum....cause I dont care what "psychologists" say...Boys are VERY different.

So, not that girls WONT do these things, but I'm just going by my experiences. So, this is just my opinion and/or experience talking:

12 IS too young especially if there will be girls and other boys you DONT know. If you do let him go...make sure he checks in at regular intervals like clockwork or there will be consequences.

From 12 to 18, it is absolutely your JOB to embarrass them (by actually being visible, I mean), patrol them, search them, and be in their business. The amount of negative exposure compared to your 20 minutes talks is so far outweighed it's not funny. If you have noticed a obvious change in personality, ther is something (as benign as it may be) negative going on, OR they would tell you. You'll find out later that I know what I'm saying.

They are learning behaviours and attitudes that YOU did not teach them or that you taught them were not acceptable. Even if it's something as simple as they know you will not like one of their friends. If this is true, then why let them have that friend?

I could go on and on...you need to trust your intuition, that's why you have it.

You really need to continuously communicate with your kids...even if its just for 2 minutes first.

My guess would be that other kids he is around are putting ideas into his head. I have had to deal with this in the past and it was an adult in a church group that was the problem and I had to have a talk with the church leaders.

Have a talk with him about how it was between the two of you in the past and that other kids might not have the same relationship with their parents.

I have had this talk with my 9yo already.

Of my 6 kids 4 are boys and 3 of them are now adults.

this sucks but if your not close to any of the parents going you need to be close to friends but if your not..... ok he so doesnt want you around i get it my son didnt either so... you need may be to establish friends that will abide by your boundarys if you can ..you this may not work for you but i did and still have a close relation ship to all dillons girl friends they think hes so cute but they think i'm way better you'll get the scoop believe me more than you want to know good luck ...you r now a team player "there is no I in team" go girly