Hi Everyone,

I’m new to this board and Wanted to say Hello to everyone and I also had a Question to throw out to everyone!!

My Question is about Online dating and singles or Personals sites, I was wondering if anyone has used a pay site such as the ones you see on just about every website you visit, not the fly by night ones, but ones like yahoo, match, and so on? I am asking this question because I am a business owner, single parent, homeowner, etc. and I have virtually NO time for ME.

I have been single for about 3 years now and most of the dates I have been on have been OK or Crash and burns. I don’t go to bars, clubs, and although I come in contact with Allot of people in my business I have a self-imposed rule of not becoming personally involved with colleagues or customers. IE: don’t S**T where you EAT.

I am at the point that my dating pool has a hole in the liner and has drained, My friends are constantly trying to ‘fix me up’ but again if things don’t go well, someone gets hurt or offended and I tend to shy away from any ‘fixer uppers’ so I don’t jeopardize friendships if you know what I am talking about.

As said, I have had some good experiences and some Horrifying ones and I simply don’t want to sit across a table in a fine restaurant waiting for the entrée hoping I am having a bad dream as I watch my ‘fixer upper’ dig for gold in her nose as I try to down my half dozen Oysters on the half shell thinking to myself “don’t look, don’t look” (I began to think she was trying to touch her brain) and became VERY aware of all eyes on us! and a overwhelming urge of Wanting to run for the door as if the place was on fire.

Listen I am not a prude, But there is a time and place for everything and will admit I also am guilty of nose fishing But Not At the Dining Table and definitely not on the first date with a complete stranger of the opposite ***!!! Please! Excuse yourself to the Powder room and Pick me a winner baby, but please don’t involve me in the excitement of the hunt.. I would LOVE to hear from all of you of your experiences with the follies of the fixer upper dating thing, and also your experiences with online dating and your thoughts about pay single sites such as listed above. This should prove to be fun…

Have a Great day to All
And stop by and say Hello ,,,,,Peace….

Dutch30

ok dutch, what do we have to do to get you to be a little less graphic before breakfast? eeewww. helll i'll date you at this point just to make you shut up and stop describing that! ewwwww.

ok, first of all welcome to the site. we're a pretty fun group here with deep pockets of knowlegde and humor.

i'm on a self-imposed dating hiatus and it feels good! da na na na na, so good, na na, so good - well, you get the point.

but back when that biological clock was giving big ben a run for his money, i tried them all, match, eharmony, chemistry, yahoo, Christian cafe, plenty of fish, and probably a few more if i check my old credit card bills. yet here i am typing to you single if that is any indication for ya.

first rule though, no dinner. meet for coffee. i live 7 blocks from the ocean so i'd meet for a walk along the boardwalk. if i liked, we'd move on, if not, i'd have errands. committing to dinner with a stranger? or even lunch? blech. i got talked in to it a couple of times and regretted it each time. lunch if i absolutely had to but, nyah.

my all time favorite first date is to go to the arcade on the boardwalk and play skee ball and hit the frog in to the lily pad and ride bumper cars and play. you get to see a lot - how competitive, how seriously they take themselves, how financially wrapped up they are, as i buy a $10 roll of quarters and they look at me like i am rockefeller. you can make bet on lowest score buys drinks if it is going well. it also gives you a million opportunities to laugh and to touch if you so desire. if a guy would not do a cartwheel in the sand with me, he was out. i dont care if you know how to or not, if you arent willing to be silly, then you are not my guy. someone's guy for sure, but not mine.

the deal is to simply be yourself. we spend so much time and effort trying to be the person that someone else will like, then when the relationship stalls we look back and scratch our heads. if you are who you honestly are from the beginning it may not make it past the first date. is that such a bad thing? perhaps it never should make it past that point.

i say go for it. careful when signing up about the automatic renewal, it can take years to get off those sites and even cancelling a credit card at times. but go for it. you have absolutely nothing to lose, even if the date is a disaster you'll have terrific stories to come back and post here. we could all use more laughs.

oh, and howzabout some more info about you - number of kids, names, ages, genders, the stuff we want to know!

good luck

I've only tried yahoo and eharmony and so far it's been hit and miss. The first guy I dated for over 8 months and we won't talk about how that ended as it's still in the process. The others since then have been less than appetizing. One was an atheist which I have nothing against, just please don't spend our first date trying to convince me why I'm wrong to be a Christian. The second was more of a girl than me. Seriously it took him two hours to get ready, he shaved his legs and arms, his hair could have it's own product convention and as the date ended his statement was that no girl had ever turned him down for a second date mine was well there's a first time for everything. Don't get me wrong I've had some people tell me they've met the loves of their lives on these sites (and no not just the people on the commercials)...just be cautious. I do what Laurie does and make no comments for dinner or things like that. We meet in very public places for drinks and then if it's going south I head out. I'm probably not the best person for advice though b/c I hate first dates.

bleh i'm not for thost things at all. i've tried numorous in the past and i find that no one respects my wishes on those things. for example, my age range is 25-30 or so but all i get are 50+ guys trying to get in contact with me. it bugs the 'h' outta me when people don't respect those wishes. it's made me so mad i just figure i'll find my own creative ways to meet people.

I hope it wasn't a friend who hooked you up with a picker .. geez. I agree with what's been said. For blind or online dating, always set up a meeting before a date. Go for coffee. Make it brief - an hour? Like they say, you can tell within the first 2 minutes whether or not you can see yourself dating the person you're with.

I've tried online dating as well. I'm actually seeing someone I dated 2 years ago from one of those sites. Nice person, a single dad as well. Be careful and be choosey and sniff out for those little red flags before you decide to meet someone.

quote:

Originally posted by BASICALLYAMY:
Apparently this guy had just gotten out of prison about 6 months prior to our date for having stabbed some guy in the chest 17 times with a screw driver.

Oh my gawd! You've got to be kidding. What was she thinking?? I'm hoping you weren't a parent when she set you up with him. That's harsh. Is she still your friend now?

oh dang Amy!! That reminds me of my last "blind" date as well. A "friend" well my best friend's sister set me up with this guy. Only after we were together for quite awhile did I find out he was a supposed ex meth user which turned out to be false and was a felon. And I'm a TEACHER! ohhhh I was pissed.

Hey Dutch.....just thought I'd let you know that my best girlfriend just got married a couple weeks ago with the man she met on EHarmony! They are a perfect match! Actually even grew up in the same town together! So you never know, it might be a positive thing. It's worth a try!

A co-worker of mine is getting married to a guy she met on e-harmony as well. In fact, he is the brother of Hunter (who plays on Weeds).

I guess if you can make it work for you then it's a good fit but it doesn't always work like it does for others.

I've probably had 50 or so couples stay my inn who've met online - probably more as I stopped asking 2 years ago (too busy for the chit chat, sad) and at least a dozen have gotten married.

i am constantly surrounded by couples. i cant say meeting online has anything to do with success in a relationship. it comes down to the same fundamentals of honesty and respect and compatability and attraction no matter how you meet.

See, that was the thing with EHarmony. She (my friend) had to answer like pages of questions in order for them to find someone who is compatable with her. Her and her new husband have lots in common and their personalities just 'click'. They get along so well. It's so nice to see, as she also has gone through a very hard divorce already. There's def hope out there and DEF plenty of fish in the sea.

E-harmony has been pretty unsuccessful for me...for some reason guys hear three kids under the age of 8 and they run...oh well their loss.

I've had one bad experience with Eharmony. We where in open communication, talking everyday, she would text me every mourning saying hi.....then all of a sudden everything stopped. It was like a switch was turned off, no e-mail responses, no more text messages, and no more calls. I just wanted to know if she was alright, or if I did anything? I guess it was not ment to be.

i apologize for that tim - um, something suddenly came up... i hope you can forgive me and we can still be friends

LOL Laurie that was mean . Come on..Tim deserved an explanation at the very least..lol. You would've made a nice couple btw.

quote:

Originally posted by AFMEDIC:
I've had one bad experience with Eharmony. We where in open communication, talking everyday, she would text me every mourning saying hi.....then all of a sudden everything stopped. It was like a switch was turned off, no e-mail responses, no more text messages, and no more calls. I just wanted to know if she was alright, or if I did anything? I guess it was not ment to be.

OMG...that's not just an eharmony thing. That's a woman thing. I know I wrote about this somewhere before. Here it is -> http://singlefamilyvoices.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/489102...011082382#1011082382

Hmmm...whatever happened to astarte?

Later,
Bobby

quote:

OMG...that's not just an eharmony thing. That's a woman thing

really bobby?
really?
wasnt yesterday enough pot stirring for you?


no chance i'd defend you on this little jab. *sigh*

quote:

Originally posted by BigBobby:

quote:

Originally posted by AFMEDIC:
I've had one bad experience with Eharmony. We where in open communication, talking everyday, she would text me every mourning saying hi.....then all of a sudden everything stopped. It was like a switch was turned off, no e-mail responses, no more text messages, and no more calls. I just wanted to know if she was alright, or if I did anything? I guess it was not ment to be.

OMG...that's not just an eharmony thing. That's a woman thing. I know I wrote about this somewhere before. Here it is -> http://singlefamilyvoices.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/489102...011082382#1011082382

Hmmm...whatever happened to astarte?

Later,
Bobby

ummm...not so fast there BigB. That's a pretty general and sexist statement. I for one have never let someone hanging like that..without at least giving them some sort of explanation. It's common decency as far as I'm concerned.

Lol...did you read my link? I think it explains the POV nicely. I got astarte to agree with me anyway!

Edited to Add: Pretty Funny to see the Soon-to-be-married PaulJ in there talking about dating sites too...

quote:

Lol...did you read my link?

i got so far as you saying you were hoping to instigate something, that it was no fun if folks agreed with you, i rolled my eyes and thought i owed HB an apology...

I don't know about all that but a commune with bobby sounds like a great idea to me, as long as it's in the extreme northwest somewhere. Imagine all the fun discussions we could have!

The only "bad" date story I have is a first date where all the woman talked about was money. How much she made, how much credit card debt she had, how much her ex made, how little other guys she'd been dating made... oh, and would you mind if I asked how much civil engineers make? I was pretty sure we didn't have our priorities in the same place. Plus I wasn't tall enough for her.

I've definitely been stood up more than my fair share of times. When a woman doesn't show up for the date, I usually get the hint all of the time : P. F em.

quote:

Originally posted by BigBobby:
Lol...did you read my link? I think it explains the POV nicely. I got astarte to agree with me anyway!

Edited to Add: Pretty Funny to see the Soon-to-be-married PaulJ in there talking about dating sites too...

Saying "90% of women I've dated/known/whatever" is a perfectly valid thing to say, it speaks to your personal experience. "That's a woman thing." is a blanket statement and is sure raise some hackles. Also references to the "Cosmo Dating Book" probably will stimulate some neck fur...Danger, Learning Curve Ahead....