Hello.. well I am little lost right now and very sad..

I am a 31 single pregnant women...Heres a brief summary..
I was just dating a man that was recently divorced. He has another child with his x wife..for the past 3 months I have suspected him of talking to her again and he denied it..but i found the phone bill and other bills that confirmed that he was doing more that being a GOOD DAD to his son.. well 2 weeks ago he told me that he wasnt in love with me and that he wanted to be single.. Keep in mind I am now 4 months pregnant with his child..COme to find out that he is trying to work things out with his Xwife.. He has not contacted me in over a week to see how I feel or anything.. He just packed up my stuff.. kicked me out and moved her right in.. I am so heartbroken and lost. He also proceeded to tell me that he missed her and he guessed He loved her all along. HELLOOOO.. what about our child.. I dont know what to do.. I spend my time trying to act like it is ok.. cause a part of me knew all along that he still wanted her.

I am going for child support and he claimed that he would be there for the child but I really dont know..

First of all, let me welcome you to SFV. I may be the only member not watching football right now.

I am so very sorry for your situation. This guy sounds like a real treat and, frankly, you should probably be glad he's married to someone else and not to you.

There is not a whole lot I can say to you that will make you feel better about the situation with the guy. It hurts. It's not fair. And you have a right to feel angry with him.

Spend a little time grieving this. Then I'm afraid you're going to have to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and get ready for baby. And that really is the best thing to focus on.
The fact that the father is a **** doesn't mean you can't be happy about the baby. My daughter is the best thing my ex husband ever gave me. No regrets here. Hopefully you'll come to feel that way about the child you have on the way.

In the meantime, this is a great place to come for support. You name it, and someone around here has been through it.

Hang in there, honey.
Missabb

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Realize that this guy is probably not coming back, (and even if he did could you trust him again?) give yourself time to grieve because you lost something that meant a lot to you, and make sure you get everything in place for you child support so that when the baby comes you can fully enjoy what is going to be the most incredible thing that has ever happened to you!! And keep posting on here because there are a lot of people who have already walked where you are going.

John

Wow this is a tough situation. I don't know how I would handle it - but I think you just have to look inside yourself and know that you are capable of anything. Stand up to him - this is a big responsibility and you both should be involved. He needs to realize that his actions have consequences!

Hi and welcome. I understand your situation, it is almost word for word the same as mine was. Take the time to grieve and move on. You will be fine, but it is difficult. You have to find away to let him go, and focus on your baby. If you need to talk we are here.

Raising a baby on your own without a partner is not as bad as it may sound. When the baby is born, you have someone beautiful to focus on. It really is his loss. I am single without support and there are times when I miss having his father to share experiences but I spend quality time with my son and that helps.
You need to make sure that you have a support group in place apart from the missing father. That also helps.

Thank you all for your words and support.

I think my ego is a little bruised also. I know what a spiteful type of person that his x is and she was jealous that I was having another child and she went back after him.. How could I compete with 10 yrs..

As for the baby.. I find out monday what i am having so that gives me something to look forward to.. Again thanks

I agree. I can feel the strong bond between me and my son. I forget those tough time very easily.

quote:

Originally posted by kaisofan:
Raising a baby on your own without a partner is not as bad as it may sound. When the baby is born, you have someone beautiful to focus on. It really is his loss. I am single without support and there are times when I miss having his father to share experiences but I spend quality time with my son and that helps.
You need to make sure that you have a support group in place apart from the missing father. That also helps.

Hello! I am glad that I am not the only one who is terrified. I am 29 and my ex is 24. I had almost the reverse happen to me. I was with a great girl for 10+ years but she broke up this past May for a 41yr old. I did not know that was the case until recently. This is my X X as I call her now. My ex and I had an amazing summer and I did everything right this time. At least I thought.... I still had feelings for my XX but new that would pass. I was having so much fun with the new girlfriend until I started feeling like she was trying to get pregnant. She wanted to do things certain ways and it made me uncomfortable. I called her on it and she said she was told by doctors she could not get pregnant. So I gave in and did things her way. I not 2 weeks later was informed in fact she was pregnant. Then the passion for the X X really started comming to the forefront. I felt that my X and I had a very open relationship to this point. She assured me that the pregnancey was an accident/miracle. I was bitter that no matter what happened I could never get back with my XX now. I told her we made a mistake one night while venting. She became very upset when I told her again that I had feelings for my XX. I went to sonagrams on 2 occasions with her and after venting this night became very comfortable with the fact that maybe she was not the best for me but together we could be a family. The next week I had to go out of town and we lived accross state lines from each other. She broke a couple of dates that week and I went out of town for work. When I came back she said she had a miss carriage and she broke up with me in person to my face. She left and I thought she was just needing time to heal. I asked her to stay that night but she did not. That was going into the 14th week. She cut off her cell phone, moved away and dropped all contact. After several weeks without contact, I started wanting confimation from someone else that the baby had passed. Oddly, non of the family would tell me definatively what had happened. I knew something was up, the same family members were said to have taken her to the hospital. So later a random person calls and says that am I aknowledging that I may have a son? Of course the answer was yes. She lied and dissapeared. Now I am wanting to get prepared for what lyes ahead.... If I can take the next step, so can you. K? I am going to tlk to people and learn how to be the best parent I can be. I made a priority list because there will soon be a custody battle. I will get the attourney tommorrow, get my network for helping to watch the baby and take some parenting classes and dealing with crazy -----X's classes as well. When I get this figured out I will move on to the next one. If I were you I would contact the attourney first as well. I was told that rather than drive to where ever the **** she is at to go to court if I file first she must come to me. I will strike first. I also found out that whomever the court thinks will allow the other parent to custody rights will have the best shot at custody. So if you do not have lots of money, get your court stuff going, get your network tight and take some parenting classes. Oh yea, when he comes groveling back to you, which he is sure to do, make sure he is what you want. What does his ex think about the new baby? Not that it MATTERS. You have a baby now and getting prepared is the ONLY thing that will make you feel Better. It appears WE have taken the first steps! Good Luck!!!

Keep your head up! Your baby needs your love the most, everything will fall into place in time!