My son's father has never been there for me or my son . We were together for about six years and he was mentally abusive with me twords the end. He left me when my son was about 1 year and 5 months and moved to Puerto Rico . This past March he came back and took me to court for visitation. The judge ordered him to get Anger management classes and to give me $65 a week. He also gets supervised visitation in my home ever Saterday for three hours. Yet he never gavee me a cent before that because he would always leave his jobs and I supported him for the 6 years. Now he thinks that $65 a week for a part time working man is too much and he wants the visits to be in his house and I don;t want that. I have to also note that my son is now getting theropy for a speech delay he has and my son is now 2 years old. I want to know if someone can give me advise as to what I should do or say at the court hearing that I have on October 31 about this matter. THank u Kathy

Wow what a tough situation... First off as a immagration worker I must ask is the daddy leagal?? I mean even if he is a perment Resident there are laws permiting him leaveing the states for over a year?? Is he a immagrant or did he just deside to go to purto rico??? I ask because this may help you in the end. Secondly if the court orderd suprovised vistis there is reasons for that and I am sure that in the little bit of time he has been back in your childs life he is not a changed man. The court will disagree with his complaint on child support, they will simple tell him if he feels that is to much for him to pay then get a nother job, ( then you get more money to) Were the two of you ever married?? This two could help you. Does he visit when he is suppose to? If he missis visits document it.... Tell the juge all your concerns they will listen... They are only looking for the child best intrest.. You need to prove it is his ( your child) best interset not to be alone with this man..... I hope I helped_

man, hard thing to take in life when the guy demands rights after not being around and to top it off an abusive jerk.

i would say bring up the abuse if possible. if you go therapy for the abuse or any documented things stating that this man can harm you and your son.

bring up the fact that you can not allow vistation rights in his home because he was menatl abusive to you and could do the same to your child.

at this point i would grab any straw i can to fight this problem.

good luck on your court date and i hope the ruling is completely in your favor you deserve it.

smvt

I have just been in the same boat with my ex fella as you. he however ended up r***ing me. I not in court yet as he in jail but he due for sentancing in june 5. we have got to be strong and not let men hurt us. good luck for the court case.

Hi everyone. great news. sorry it has taken me so long to log on, things bin a bit mad. fantastic news. after he admitted what he did to me two hours before the trial we then had to wait 9 weeks for presentancing reports. howerver, he was sentenced to........... 7 YEARS AND 3 MONTHS!!! however the down side is that time taken of for remand and half the sentance means he is out June 2010. It just goes to show what if we speak up these people will be punished, we must not sit backand do nothing it must be reported so we end up with better outcomes in the future. he is meant to be on suicide watch and to be honest i really hope that he does it. i wish he does. i am sorry if this offends, it my personal opinion.

Emma,
That must have been a horrifice experience for you!! I hope you got some counselling or therapy to help you deal with it.
I can understand your feelings, honestly.

I experienced domestic violence myself. Luckily, in my situation, he is out of the country and not likely to be back anytime soon.

quote:

Originally posted by Emma23:
Hi everyone. great news. sorry it has taken me so long to log on, things bin a bit mad. fantastic news. after he admitted what he did to me two hours before the trial we then had to wait 9 weeks for presentancing reports. howerver, he was sentenced to........... 7 YEARS AND 3 MONTHS!!! however the down side is that time taken of for remand and half the sentance means he is out June 2010. It just goes to show what if we speak up these people will be punished, we must not sit backand do nothing it must be reported so we end up with better outcomes in the future. he is meant to be on suicide watch and to be honest i really hope that he does it. i wish he does. i am sorry if this offends, it my personal opinion.

It is good that you stood up for yourself and held him responsible for his actions ... but don't stoop to his level. Don't wish him to commit suicide as then you would be as bad as him. The best thing you can do is not care. Don't care if he lives and wins the lottery, or dies for any reason. Not caring is te true opposite of love, something we should all know about (both sides of the coin as our exes not caring killed us the most). Be better the him and just forget he exists.