HELLO MY NAME IS KRISTELL I AM A NEW MEMBER. ABOUT TWO DAYS AGO I FOUGHT WITH MY FIANCE' ABOUT GOING OUT. IT ESCALATED INTO A FIGHT WHERE HE TOOL OFF OUR DAUGHTER FOR A FEW HOURS AND WHEN HE CAME BACK HE TOLD ME HE WAS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF. A FEW MINUTES LATER HE TRIED TO FORCE ME TO STAB HIM WITH A KNIFE. WHEN I TRIED TO CALL 911 HE WRESTLED WITH ME AND TOLD ME IF I CALLED THEM HE WOULD STAB HIMSELF AND WHEN THE POLICE ARRIVED IT WOULD LOOK LIKE I DID IT. I REALLY FEEL LIKE AN *** BECAUSE I WENT BACK TO HIM. HE HAD PROMISED ME IF WE GOT BACK TOGETHER THAT WE WOULD GET MARRIED. WHICH WE BOUGHT RINGS, BOUGHT TICKETS FOR VEGAS TO LEAVE 3-24-05 TO GET MARRIED AND WE TRIED TO GET PREGNANT. WELL HERE I AM 10 WEEKS PREGNANT AND HIM NOWHERE AROUND. I KNOW I AM A BETTER PERSON WITHOUT HIM, BUT IT DOESN'T MAKE THIS ANY EASIER. HOW CAN A MAN TELL YOU SO MANY LIES AND PUT YOU IN A PREDICAMENT LIKE I AM IN? I REALLY THOUGHT HE COULD GROW UP, BUT NOW I JUST GET ALL THE I TOLD YOU SO'S FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS. I FEEL EXTREMELY ALONE. ANYONE HAVE SOME INSPIRATION FOR ME.

Be glad he's gone. He does not sound very stable and with you being pregant, you don't need that stress. He wanted you to stab him?? That's crazy!! Reach out to your family and friends and tell them you don't need to hear the I told you so's because you already feel bad enough. Are you sure he is not using drugs?? Please be safe

lonegirl, welcome to the forum. You really are better off without his drama from the sounds of it. As hmp23 suggested, maybe you can talk with your family and just let them know that you could really use support and not lectures, what's done is done.
There are some great members here, that can help lend a supportive ear, advice if you need, and understanding. Things will get better.

quote:

Originally posted by lonegirl26:
[qb] HOW CAN A MAN TELL YOU SO MANY LIES AND PUT YOU IN A PREDICAMENT LIKE I AM IN? I REALLY THOUGHT HE COULD GROW UP, [/qb]

I agree with everyone here. What's done is done. There's no point in pointing fingers here. Let it be. As for your question, you kind of confused me. I thought you DID know what he was all about? Where's the lies?

Hey lonegirl. I know how you feel. I don't know if I will ever be able to undewrstand why some people do the things they do or quite frankly if I want or need to. But that probably won't make you feel any better. Soon enough you will be more concerned with the baby than him.

Hey lone girl,
It's a sad situation all the way around but atleast you kept baby and lost the man. I know I've been through the man not really being who he promised to be. It gets furating because why to we want to lie about who we are? It sounds like you are better off with out him in your life. god luck on your baby.
SPIRIT

quote:

Originally posted by lonegirl26:
[qb] HE HAD PROMISED ME IF WE GOT BACK TOGETHER THAT WE WOULD GET MARRIED. WHICH WE BOUGHT RINGS, BOUGHT TICKETS FOR VEGAS TO LEAVE 3-24-05 TO GET MARRIED AND WE TRIED TO GET PREGNANT. [/qb]

Jes....I believe she is talking about the lies she stated above.

Lonegirl26,
I really don't have any more advice to add than what has already been said. It is always hard when we have hope for people, put our trust in them and they disappoint us. I hope too that you learn from this experience. Feel better soon.

Like Don said, Way tooooo much Drama. I have seen that guys that talk like this, thats what it is, talk. you will do better with out him. good luck with the baby

quote:

Originally posted by THINKER:
[qb]

quote:

Originally posted by lonegirl26:
[qb] HE HAD PROMISED ME IF WE GOT BACK TOGETHER THAT WE WOULD GET MARRIED. WHICH WE BOUGHT RINGS, BOUGHT TICKETS FOR VEGAS TO LEAVE 3-24-05 TO GET MARRIED AND WE TRIED TO GET PREGNANT. [/qb]

Jes....I believe she is talking about the lies she stated above. [/qb]

Irrationality doesn't lie. She walked into something she was already aware of. No hidden secrets here.

quote:

Originally posted by miss jes:
[qb]

quote:

Originally posted by THINKER:
[qb]

quote:

Originally posted by lonegirl26:
[qb] HE HAD PROMISED ME IF WE GOT BACK TOGETHER THAT WE WOULD GET MARRIED. WHICH WE BOUGHT RINGS, BOUGHT TICKETS FOR VEGAS TO LEAVE 3-24-05 TO GET MARRIED AND WE TRIED TO GET PREGNANT. [/qb]

Jes....I believe she is talking about the lies she stated above. [/qb]

Irrationality doesn't lie. She walked into something she was already aware of. No hidden secrets here. [/qb]

Not sure what you mean by irrationality doesn't lie...that doesn't make sense DR.

She believed what he told her...lies. Get it??

I was in love with a man who lied and at the end openly admitted to it. Even then I could not face it- I so wanted to believe and be rescued becaused I was scared, actually terrified of my life.I wanted loving him to take it all away- I held onto the lies because reality felt too harsh-sad but trueAs I loosed my hold on the liesand open ed my eyesI became aware of some pretty amazing truth that the lies were overshadowing. Step away and see what it is your scared of and reach out to people in that space-Let the drama go trust me its worth it-focus on your pregnacy don't let the lies rob you of this I had to learn to trust my gut and see though the talk-even when I wanted it to be true and wanted to hide in itdon't let him take another minute of your and your children precious life All the best

Hello. I wanted to respond to you because I was there once. I understand why you went back. People who have not been there probably wont understand, but I do. When you are in the relationship it is hard for you to clearly see what is really happening to you. This man doesn't love you. Love is not hurt and abuse. When I left my ex. he held me down, shoved a sock in my mouth, and asked me how it felt to know I was going to die. I wont get into the details of what else happend, but it was the most terrifying experience of my life. I thought my life was coming to an end, and you know what? No one came to my rescue when I screamed for help, or when I banged on the walls for my nieghbors to call 911. The probably turned up thier T.V's to block out the sound. Why? I think people have become desensitized to it.
Anyway... please, do it for yourself and your child. Leave him and find someone else who will NEVER scare you, hurt you, belittle you, call you names, threaten you, or make you feel worthless. You deserve someone who will cherish you, make you feel safe and secure, beautiful, and loved. I am so proud of you for taking the first step. He will try to come back. He will try to minipulate you and make you feel sorry for leaving him. He will also try to remiind you that you cannot make it without him and that no one else will want you. Just remember how frightened you were that night you called the police. And remember my story so that it does not happen to you. Don't go back and join a support group for battered women. It helps.

[/QUOTE]Not sure what you mean by irrationality doesn't lie...that doesn't make sense DR. She believed what he told her...lies. Get it?? [/QB][/QUOTE]

The way he behaved was completely irrational and she chose to believe what she wanted to believe. A rational person doesn't threaten suicide and then run off to get married on a moment's whim but yet she went with it. I don't think she was as much in the dark as she claimed to be. Unfortunately she chose to ignore these redflags - perhaps out of fear?

Lies .. his words had no credibility. He was manipulating her into doing what he wanted her to do by force. I bet there wasn't an ounce in her body that told her she was going to live "Happily Ever After" with this man.

Sorry hon.

quote:

Originally posted by miss jes:
[qb]

Not sure what you mean by irrationality doesn't lie...that doesn't make sense DR. She believed what he told her...lies. Get it?? [/qb][/QUOTE]

The way he behaved was completely irrational and she chose to believe what she wanted to believe. A rational person doesn't threaten suicide and then run off to get married on a moment's whim but yet she went with it. I don't think she was as much in the dark as she claimed to be. Unfortunately she chose to ignore these redflags - perhaps out of fear?

Lies .. his words had no credibility. He was manipulating her into doing what he wanted her to do by force. I bet there wasn't an ounce in her body that told her she was going to live "Happily Ever After" with this man.

Sorry hon. [/QB][/QUOTE]


I'm sorry but I just went through a typical situation - I was financially, professionally sound when he came along in my life. I am an intelligent and educated woman and yet I still so wanted to believe my ex and his lies. Never before was involved with an abusive man. I think your responses here were insensitive and if there's one thing domestic violence victims need, it's more finger pointing.

People will act foolishly regardless of gender, hon. If you don't want your kid(s) acting this way, keep them away from it. The whole birds of a feather thing is true. You become what you surround yourself with. Like my grandmother says, "If you stand in poop long enough, you won't smell it anymore."