The following post is not for sympathy, it's just me thinking outloud and still trying to make sence of this all.
I have been really trying to be positive on here all day. I have not been on the site for 3 days now I think maybe 2. You know that I got that RO and I was warned by many of you not to let my guard down. I really wanted to think better of him (I dont know why), but I shouldn't of.
I went to the store on Monday night it was like 10pm when I got home and the sun was just starting to set (I live in Alaska). I had left all the blinds open when I left so the sun could get it and when I got home some were closed I didnt think anything of it. So I UNLOCKED my door, had Taylor on one hip 2 bags in the hand and 4 in the other. I walk into my house put the bags on the ground and lock the door. I put taylor in her crib go to leave the room to put the stuff away and guess who is standing in the door way. Jake her "father" that I have the RO against. He is just standing there looking at me and Tay and he has the nerve to say "we are going to be such a good family". I can smell the alcohol from across the room. I asked him what he was doing here and how he got in and he said that he saw me leave and thought he would supprise me so he used the spare key which I couldnt even find the other day in my wood pile and let himself in. He got sick of waiting so he fell asleep on my bed! I told him that he was going to wake the baby so lets talk out of the room. I closed the door and I thought it was going to be the last time I saw her. I dont have anything that could be used to hurt someone out because of her starting to walk everywere but I was looking for something. But he sat at my table while I put everything away and really just wanted to talk. My friend drove by and saw his truck down the street and my windows closed and came to check on me so he just came in and went crazy when he saw him sitting at my table. He started to yell and threaten him and the good 'ol Jake was back he grabed my arm and bent it saying that I didnt deserve him and that my daughter was going to grow up with out a mother. I was trying to stay calm and just get him out of my house. Saying that if he left I would get to bed and tomorrow we could go out to lunch and talk about being a family I would of said anything to get him out. He hit me and my friend laid into him bad. I grabed the phone and called the cops. They came and arrested my friend and said that Jake was acting in self difiance! I have a broken arm and a fractured cheak bone he was trying to save my life! I hate the cops here they are scum bags. But the thing that mad me the most mad is the fact that the reason he came over was because of this site. I was telling another single mom about here and somehow he found out and read my comments and posts. He thought that I wasnt portraying him in a positive light.
I was about to just not come back not because I thought that it was the sites fault but because I cant handle this happening again. I feel violated that he was reading my thoughts and feeling and in my house in my bed and I had no controle over it. This was and is a place that we are suppost to feel safe and accepted. We shouldnt have to guard our words or feeling because him or someone else like him will read them. But I decided that if I did that it would be just what he wanted. For me to feel even more isolated and alone. I have learned alot from people here and have more support than have had in my short 20 year life. I have to go before I ruin my computer because of crying on it.

You need to contact your state police, attorney general, governor, somebody that can investigate your local police as they are not upholding the law.

You can also press civil charges on your ex for entering your house, and hurting you, also this is contempt of court, and domestic violence.

Don't back down from the authorities, you have rights and the court should enforce them.

Wow, I would be going over the local PD's heads also. You mean they didn't arrest him at all, and only arrested your friend? That's your house, you have a RO on him that should have been their first line of action is following that order. Let the judge who signed that order know that as well, by letter or through his clerk. I'm sure you're already thinking of a lot of this so I'll get to the next part.

This is another good reminder about using this site, and that there is a good amount of anonymity if used as we are able to. You don't have to post your actual location, use real names, etc. That's why email addies in the system are confidential and usernames can be whatever you like/want to make up.
PLEASE for those that are going through things that could possibly bring any sort of harm to them, use lots of caution about too much personal/identifiable information, it is a public forum on the internet accessible by anyone.

TM,
I'm not even sure how to respond to this....this kind of thing is so foreign to me....In my family...if this kind of thing happened...the others either set him straight....or if he didnt change....he ...uhm...relocated.

Man to man is one thing....and I am glad your friend was there to wail on him...I know I would think it was worth it....that YOU were worth it.

I would say follow the advice of these Don and Dad, and go above these officers heads. He did violate a restraining order....and the judge should be infuriated by that.

It's time like these, people better be glad I'm NOT "God".

I'm glad you're ok, TM, coulda been much much worse.......

Nope he didnt get arrested, they took him to the police station just to get a statement. But he was so drunk that he passed out in the car and they let him sleep for 2 hours. Meanwhile I had to go to the hospital. They said that since I allowed him to stay in my house I made him think that he was ok. I was afraid I had pulled all my knifes out to make it look like I was washing them. He was between me and my child and the door. I dont know what todo differently. I am afraid to open my house door! They let my friend out of jail but he has a court hearing on Monday. I think it will go well because its with the judge that issued the RO. There is only 2 in my town. I called the big city police but they said I had to make an appointment with the chief of police and the judge over my case before they could do anything. But my lawyer (who isnt in my town either) said that because he broke my arm before the my friend hit him that he was still protecting me because I was unable to on my own power. I was mad that they never drug tested or see what his alcohol level was on my ex.
I thought that I was being smart by not saying where I am and not using my ex's real name but I guess not. This place is valuable for me. When I think that Im about to lose it I can read other peoples posts and not feel alone or as crazy. Its nice to know that even if the system is spreading me thin and making me jump through stupid hoops its working for someone and maybe I will get my chance one day.