I am making my will and I know who I want to be a guardian of my son in case something happens to me. The problem that I have is that everyone wants to be his guardian - people that I dont want... most are family.

I have sole custody of my son and his father has been proven to be neglectful of our son... so in court he told the judge that he would pay me to keep our son. He has neglected to pay child support and has not seen his son since the day i won custody (by his choice).

The problem is that according to the information that I have found (so far) that in my death then my son would automatically go to the father... if it is stated in the will who I wish to be the guardian - will that over right any rights that he might have... if he can prove that he wont be neglectful??

I know there is going to be a fight over Jaren and I dont want this problem to be the guardian's problem IF the event should happen. Does anyone know of any "guards" that I can have in my will that will or should prevent the family from trying to gain custody?

Any suggestions would help...

PS
I am moving closer to the one that I want to be the guardian and further away from family because the bickering over what might and might not happen in their lifetime is getting to much for me.. hense why I am choosing a university out of province (I live in Canada). The reason why I am moving closer to her is that if something should happen then she would be the first to have possession of him IF something were to happen. Would that be considered that she has my son and a copy of my will that states my wishes? I know that she can not be the executor.

Hi,
I don't know the canadian law...but a trust is way better than a will. A trust cannot be contested, a will can be. A trust is anywhere from $500-800 and can be very specific. It is private and is kept confidential. Your wishes can be stated as to what you want to happen to your son if you were to die. The father would have first rights if his parental rights were not terminated, but it doesn't sound like he would step up to the plate. It is really who Jaren's strongest relationships are and how they are proven in court...if you go with a will. A trust....no one can contest your wishes...and certain people could even be left out completely, and never find out what was in the trust...if that is how you set it up. You need to talk to a trust lawyer. You can find one in your yellow pages. The cost is usually lower if you don't have a lot of assets. I am not an expert here but just sharing what has been explained to me and how I understand it. Hope this helps.

I saw a lawyer for just this same thing. I do NOT want Ty to go to his father in the event that something happens to me and I doubt he would push for it. I was told that I needed guardianship papers drawn up and that as long as both the guardian to be and myself signed it, there would be no way to contest it. But, that is the law in Florida. You really need to sit down w/a lawyer and explain your needs and wants and requirements. They would be best suited for answering such a question.

My situation is weird and I've been wondering the same thing. I don't want my kids separated and they have 2 different Dads. My Son's Dad isn't in his life, but my Daughter's Dad doesn't take an active role with him either. My Daughter would go to her Dad and my Son having no legal father or paternity established would most likely go to my parents.

Its such a scary thing to not know, and to be afraid of the cost to find out. If you can talk to a lawyer I'd highly recommend it.

There are some lawyers that give you a free consultation. That is the way I would go with it. That way, if you don't like what they say or just want the questions answered but aren't prepared to start filing anything, you aren't out any money at all. Just a thought.

Hmmmm, another reminder that I really need to get on the ball with a living trust myself.
Just at a total loss who to even think of for my daughter for that part of it, I cringe at the thought of her returning to her mom, but I honestly can't think of who else to consider.

Thank you so much! Alot of people think that I think morbidly thinking of my demise but I think it is practical and logical to plan for what we all know will happen and no one knows when it will. I am going to call a lawyer in Regina when I go there tomorrow and me and the guardian to be will go and talk to a lawyer if possible. SO I will ask about a Trust and Guardianship Papers. Thank you I will let ya all know what I find out.

Thank you

Actually, what you show do is the following:

You need a will, powers of attorney, and trust. here are the reasons:

1. The will will assist with the day to day affairs after you are deceased however, it has no protection in the area of taxes. I would use the will as a set of instructions for things outside of property.

2. The trust will provide protection in the area of taxes. The property is almost always transferred without incident. The trust can name specific individuals to specific responsibilities
and could be used as a form of guardianship ad litem for the child (I would verify that).

3. A General Power of Attorney is also needed for when you are incapacitated. Now, I believe the term is Living Power of Attorney. This is allow others to pay your bills, take care of your child, access you banking information and make decisions for you with the doctors and such. You want to make sure that the power of attorney is specific.

Hope this helps.

quote:

Originally posted by Pockettz:
[qb] .... Alot of people think that I think morbidly thinking of my demise but I think it is practical and logical to plan for what we all know will happen and no one knows when it will.....
Thank you [/qb]

Just a comment:
The people who tell you this probably don't have any kids, or they don't act as responsible parents (MHO). Of course we must at least try to do our best to make sure our kids are well taken care of after we die.
And for me personnally, it just makes me sleep better, to know everything is done in case I disappear before my son is able to live on his own (only 16 years to go ).
Another important thing, as you say, is to discuss the subject with that person (the one you want to be your kid's guardian). It does feel strange to do that, true.

But what if you can't prove to the court that the non-custodial parent is unfit? You still don't want them raising your child, but the court says they are "responsible". Then what? How good is a trust?

hmmmm... Is there a way of proving that the guardian will be fit before the demise of a parent? Would making guardianship papers have that included... where the guardian is shown to be fit?