Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Law & Legal Issues what should i do about my baby's fathers family|
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Learning to Surf The Board |
Hi there..i am new to this network...i wanted a little bit of advice for my situation please help...anyone...if you can
i got pregnant when i was with my ex ( he is black and im white) i met him on halloween and got pregnant around thanksgiving of 04. i didnt tell anyone that i was pregnant...not even him. we broke up when he was arrested in march and i havent seen him since. i planned to put my son up for adoption and was told that i needed to have the fathers signature to do that. so the agency that i was working with got a hold of the father after a month of searching. he refused to sign the papers...so i kept my son. i havent heard or seen my sond father since march. he has never even seen my beautiful son. i felt guilty for a while about the whole situation that he hasnt seen him...but now i am just angry...he has had all this time to make the effort and he hasnt done anything...i know it is for the best...my sons father has too many issues with his mental health to be around me or my son. thats why i left him in the first place. the few questions that i have are...we have a paternaty test and child support case scheduled for feb 21st of this year. i was told that a lawyer isnt necessary...is that true...and what can i expect to happen or come out of this?? when should i think about getting a lawyer? and are there any demands that i should set for any custody that he wants?? my babys father had a large drug problem and i would like to know if i can demand a drug test before he can have any custody of my son...and if i can have the courts give him random tests just to make sure that he isnt on drugs when he is around my son if he does get some sort of custody... please help me answer some of these questions thank you |
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Parent on Board |
I don't know about where you are, but here in Canada you do not need a lawyer if it is just child support. If it is getting into custody too, I would be getting a lawyer. If you can get a consult from a lawyer hun, explain your situation and find out as much as you can from him.
Now as for what to ask for in the custody order, I myself would ask for full custody and him to have surpervised access. Make times for pick up and drop off's, ask that if there is any drug use that he loose his access and that he is to refrain from any drugs and alcohol while in the precense of the child. You have to protect your son hun, don't worry about him at all. I wish you the best of luck, I know how frustrating this all can be. Keep your chin up and even if you are cracking don't let him see it, come in here and we will try to help any way we can. Oh by the way...  |
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"The Dark Knight" Get a Life? This IS my Life!!!! |
I could help you more if you told me what state you lived in (Studying to be a lawyer and will give you what knowledge I have).
Most states this is what happens, and I am typing this STRAIGHT from the law for Pennsylvania but like I said most states have something simular (Tell me the state and I should be able to help you find out if something simular exists): Domestic Relations (Title 23) Chapter 53 - Custody $5303 Award of cstody, partial custody or visitation. (a) General rule.-- In makeing an order of custody, partial custody or visitation to either parent, the court shall consider, among other factors, which parent is more likely to encourage, permit and allow frequent and continueing contact and physical access betweem the noncustodial parent and the child. In addition, the court shall consider each parent and adult houshold member's present and past violent or abusive conduct which may include, but not limited to, abusive conduct as defined under the act of October 7, 1976 (P.L. 1090, No 218), known as the Protection From Abuse Act. (b) Consideration of Criminal conviction.--If a perent has been convicted of or has pleaded guilty or no contest to an offense as set forth below, the court shall consider such criminal conduct and shall determine that the parent does not pose a threat of harm to the child before making an order of custody, partial custody, or visitation o that parent: This is much more (http://members.aol.com/StatutesP2/23.Cp.53A.html is the website for the while article which is pretty lengthy) but I know that in Delaware when I live and am studying to be a lawyer, you can not only have them pay child support for your child or children but have them restrained with a PDS (Protection from Domestic Abuse) just because he did drugs and was convicted. Once you go to jail for anything, you show the judge that you have a problem following the rules and could be a bad example or role model to a child. Easily you could lose physical custody but maximum you could lose even the right to see your child like in your case. To answer your question, yes you can but you have to do a PDA or restraining order, something along those lines. |
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Learning to Surf The Board |
Thank you for all your help..i am in the state of Maryland, frederick county if that helps any
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Learning to Surf The Board |
thank you so much for your kind words...i really appreciate all your help and views. i am really worried about 2 things...which i shouldnt be...first off is the fact that he might actually show up in court and fight everything and want to be a part of my sons life...that scares me the most. but then on the other hand if he doesnt show up...that just drags on the whole process even longer...i dont really know which i would want more...him being there in court or him not. i just wish that it was over and done with.
thank you again for all your help
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"Parent on Board" Forum Board? No- KeyBoard! |
not showing up is not a good thing, they may rule without his presence. So if he doesn't its not like a stay, or anything like that. He will basicaslly screw himself.
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"The Dark Knight" Get a Life? This IS my Life!!!! |
If he doesn't show up then he made your life easy. If he was summoned (A police officer game him a copy of the summons or you have proof he receiver it) then what will happen is that like Pail said they WILL rule without him there. Apon doing that you will receive anything you want because who the heck is going to oppose you?
The problem comes with Child Support because he can easily quit jobs and get new ones to doge paying for a while, even though eventually they catch up with him you are stuck sitting there with no money in the meantime on top of the fact that he can also be arrested for not paying. I am lucky because I make enough to provide for my children without needing the child support, but I get it anyways because my job only pays the bills. I can't do anything special for them and if I do, it isn't much. Also I have very little set aside for an emergency situation, so that money will sit just in case if I ever get it. Lets be honest, not everyone can do this but you have to try to put yourself in a position where child support can disappear and it wouldn't put you on the street. If you can't then it could hurt you and your child later if he illegal and decides to start job hopping. |
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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Law & Legal Issues what should i do about my baby's fathers family
