right up front, I will tell you I read her diary. Everyone now roll your eyes. My oldest is 14 and she lives with me and her 2 siblings. Her father lives 50 min away with his girlfriend. My daughter writes I'm the demon mother. She says she is able to do what she wants at her dad's, stay up late, no controls on the computer, no limit on TV, and he will make her, her own room in his basement(she now shares a BR with her sister). She has denied outloud to me that she wants to live with her dad, she is quiet around me but will do her chores and gets an allowance for babysitting her siblings.
She is a honor roll student with alot of potential. (as all parents state)
Her father emotionally abused me, stole my credit information, lied to all of us many times over and is living with a woman who is still married to someone else.
She doesn't know I read her thoughts.
I know her wishes are not what is best for her.
I know her dad will allow her to live there if she asks.
I know I will never allow her to go without a fight. He will have to take me to court to get her.
My question to you is what now?
Do I ignore the situation until she brings it up?
Do I bribe her to stay with me?(I know that isn't right)

I've gone through my son's things already, so I did not roll my eyes LOL
Unfortunately kids don't seem to listen and only learn after their hearts have been torn out. Hopefully his track record will give you leverage to keep her until she realizes what he's really like. In PA a kid, her age, (not sure how young it goes) can choose in front of the courts, who they want to live with.

I would let it go and see if she brings it up. bribing will only leave "what if's" and hard feelings later. Just ride it out and if it comes down to anything, there are people here who may have some experience or just offer support to you.
I hope it blows over and never comes about. good luck and try to relax, it's not good to worry so much!

Kim