I'm not sure how exactly to phrase my question, so bear with me... maybe it's not so much a question as a request for opinions..

Lets say, hypothetically, that my son's dad decides to take me to court to get visitation and the court date is set when my son is 18 months old or so (doesn't it take a long time to go to court, unless it's an emergency?) - he's 9.5 months now.

Now, let's say my son's dad continues his self-established pattern of 45 minutes or less a week - which he's had for at least the last 7 months (when I started documenting)- with a few canceled visits here and there (not to mention regularly being late), and all visits being in my home.

And lets say I show up in court with this documentation which shows that I allowed regular contact and was flexible with his requests and that he had a lot of control over when he chose to visit, and had complete control over how long he chose to visit.

1. How much visitation do you think the judge would grant, given the facts?
2. Do you think the judge would automatically grant him unsupervised visits?
3. How likely is it that the judge would grant my request for his father to take parenting classes first?
4. what's the liklihood that the judge would request him to have a vehicle before he takes our son on unsupervised visits- if he should get them?

I want them to have a relationship... but not only have they not established a bond...he also has not taken part in any care for months... and the only care he's had any part in is a total of 4 diaper changes... the last time he changed a diaper it was fathers day, and it was because his dad was there, and he was giving his "I take care of him all the time" bs.

anyway, I am just curious what you all think... based on what you know of the court process and all...I know I shouldn't even worry about anything until it happens IF it ever happens at all...but that just me... I'm the type that worries early...

Hi,

How much visitation, I don't even venture to guess.

My first thought is that the yes a judge generally will allow unsupervised visitation unless it can be shown that there is good cause to beleive that "harm" could come to the child otherwise. Or that the child would be subject to an unhealthy environement.

The only time I've ever seen parenting classes ordered, unfortunately, is after the fact situations, when a problem has already occured.

I would think that a judge would leave it up to him on his transportation of choice, as long as it wasn't a danger.

These are only my opinions from what I've seen. I still am often surprised at some of the orders made in court, that seem to go against the norm. Your mileage may vary as they say

1. How much visitation do you think the judge would grant, given the facts?
2. Do you think the judge would automatically grant him unsupervised visits?
3. How likely is it that the judge would grant my request for his father to take parenting classes first?
4. what's the liklihood that the judge would request him to have a vehicle before he takes our son on unsupervised visits- if he should get them?


These are only my opinions;
A1: I think the judge will take into account what both of you agree on. If an agreement is unreachable btween you, then it's likely he base his findings on the current set up.
A2: Yes. Unless,like Don says, there are proven safety issues.
A3: Not likely. Parenting in itself is a learning experience for all of us. Again, like Don says, usually only after the fact if safety issues arise.
A4: Transportation is not usually an issue except when it comes to transfers. (fuel, distance, feasability,etc.)
Remember,the judge is the final word and nothing is set in stone. He can venture outside the norms to make desicions. Each case is unique.
Hop I helped.

I've been meaning to say thank you to both of you for your info. I appreciate it, and you guys rule! It may not always be what I want to hear, but it's honest, and when it comes to this kind of advice, honesty is the best policy. tHanks again