I already posted "Custody Advice...Please" in 20 Something Moms but I need more advice. I have contacted a few different lawyers and it seems like I am getting told different things. A little background: I have a three year old son who's father has made no attempt to see him. He is current on his child support though. I had my will drawn up to include my wishes about a guardian for Vincent (my son) if something should happen to me. I am told that this is no guarantee and would depend on the judge so I am now having custody papers drawn up. I was just told that I could still not choose a guardian for Vincent even with sole custody. Is this true?? Does anyone know?? In addition to this I was told that in order to do this I would need to have the father's rights taken away. If I do this would I still be able to receive child support for Vincent?? I have always been under the impression that if he signs his rights away that he has no further obligation including financial. Can anyone give me some answers from experience??

If you get the father's parental rights taken away, you absolutely will not receive child support. If dad dies, you will not receive social security either. However you will have piece of mind regarding the guardian. In most states, the court won't revoke parantal rights of the father unless there is severe documented physical abuse, or someone lined up to adopt the child. I would take out a substantial life insurance policy on yourself, name the guardian the trustee and your son the benificary. That way if anything, god forbid, happens to you, you know your son will be taken care of. Secondly, if he chooses to contest the will, it might appear to the court that he is only after custody because of the life insurance. It would make him look bad, like a gold digger.

Thank you for your response. I do already have a life insurance policy and have named my Father the beneficiary on Vincent's behalf. I also had my will drawn up and it states that my wishes are for Vincent to go to my parents if something happens to me. I was told this only states my wishes and does not determine the fate of Vincent if I die. I was also told that in the state of Nebraska, the courts side with the custodial parents, so if his father stepped up and said he wanted him if something happens to me, he would get him. They would just turn him over to a complete stranger! Makes no sense to me!!! My parents would of course fight it and I believe they could prove him an unfit parent. Custody right now seems like the last step to get all the legal things out of the way and I don't think I want to take the Father's rights away. That wouldn't be fair to Vincent.

Kjr29vnr wrote: "I have always been under the impression that if he signs his rights away that he has no further obligation including financial." That would be incorrect. A parent can choose not to exercise rights like visitation- but cannot give up responsibility without a judge's o.k.

Actually, its almost impossible to get a biological parent's status terminated unless you have a new parent adopting the child or are a member of an Indian Tribe. If you are remarried, you may apply for the step-parent to become the guardian after 1 year - assuming no contact from the missing biological parent.

The courts keep the other parent legally responsible for a number of reasons: So the child can inherit, so the STATE can go after the Non Custodial Parent (NCP) if the Primary parent uses food stamps or other state services. What they take away is "Physical Custody" and "Legal Custody" - How much time the NCP spends with the child and who makes decisions for the child. My ex just saw our kids for the first time in 10 years- and would LOVE to sign away her rights. The family courts do not allow it in California.
There are some states that still allow this- check around on some of the "legal" bulletin boards.

i am new here . My son's father is currently paying for childcare as child support but i dont have anything legal drawn up. i was wondering about custody- if i don't have legal custody he can take my son anywhere in the state without my permission and it is legal but if he leaves state then it is kid-napping. Me and his father were never married but his name is on the birth certificate. do we have equal custody? Or do i have custody due to my son living with me? I can't afford a lawyer and i dont know what to do