I would like to say thank you to the creators of this forum what an awsome idea... Parents supporting parents..


I have been having a real problem with my kids dad... He is for nice terms a complete loser, and his family is not far behind...

My question is:
Should I call CAS on him I do believe that my children when in his care are not being taken care of properly... They are subjected to ton of mindless crapolla, and they are being turned into little messengers of threats that are to be relayed to myself through the fathers family.. Now its not like it has happend only once this has been going on for almost 2 years, but most recently it has become threatning to myself.. I called the police to see if they could help me, maybe go give her a verbal warning about relaying threats through an 8yr old boy... they wont do it, but suggested that I call CAS and have them look at the situation...

Im nervous to call then because all i ever hear are bad things.. does anyone here have any helpful info they could possible share, or maybe a possitive CAS story ....

I hate to tell you this but I have not had a good experience with CPS, which I'm assuming is the same as CAS. I've spoken with my lawyer about behavior I felt was damaging to my children while in my ex's care. He said, if I felt the children were in danger then I would have the right to deny visitation. It would probably wind up in court but the judge, in most cases would side with me. It's a judgment call he said. Your utmost responsibility is to your child. My ex would tell them awful things about me, which weren't true, and I knew the statements would hurt the children. But when all is said and done, I tried to help the children see the truth, let them come to it on their own, but lay down the facts on both sides. There has been a tremendous learning opportunity for the boys during these conversations. Life lessons they can apply to many situations. My kids are 8 and 10. They are very open and it's taken a while, but they have arrived at the truthful conclusion. It's hard to think bad things about your dad, so it takes a while, and many disappointments to arrive at a less than satisfactory conclusion.

Momma and Boysandme,

:welcome: to both of you.

Momma, Unfortunately you need to find out what the temperment of the CAS is in your area. When it comes to emotional abuse, which is what your circumstance constitutues, the DCF and the courts around here believe it does not exist. It is not a consideration when determining visitation or custody. Parental alienation (another factor of your situation) is a joke around here. If I were to try what Boysandme's lawyer suggested, I would have my child removed from my home and placed with her father.

Research.. reasearch...research the CAS, and teach your children to come to you with concerns. Never stoop to the level he and his family has stooped. Let them know and prove to them they will always hear the truth from you.

I was just thinking of this subject myself. I think my daughter is being emotionally abused by her father, the same way he did to me. It damaged me and still has its lingering affects. I hate to see an innocent child have to go through it. I havent looked into it around here, but I doubt there is much use. Its hard to prove. Especially to people who only see the situation for a short time, not the everyday lasting scars emotional abuse leaves. "sticks and stones may brake my bones, but names will never hurt me." I'd take the sticks and stones vs. the hurting words any time.

I have thought about the subject over and over again...

I thank you for your opinions... I guess there really is no positive stories about CAS (Childrens Aid Society)

I wish that making a dissision such as this was as easy as the dissision to leave there "Sperm Donor".. Unfortunatley these types of dessissions have sever consiquences.... :angry:

You rally have to be more specific on Crappola. I have dealt the with CPS( Child protechtive services) one where they took my kids away from my ex, and one where I had to fly 1800 miles to get them. As to the threats you need to log it. if they get life threatoning don't hesitate to call.

I'm currently dealing with my local CPS... They're on my side with MY report to them... They're going to have a little powow with her and the insident we had a few days ago... They told me if it happens again. SHE will be removed, and being I'm the reporter will gain custody... Tho their is a bit of a gray area, If I'm not present and somthing happens... WE may loose him... But he also told me since she has no convictions, and nothing blocking her from seeing him, I may be granted custody... By the court... You can't totaly take everyones word on CPS/CAS. Most of those people have had BAD expereances due to VERY POOR choises... If your ex has court ordered visitation, you have no choise but to send the child there... You can report it to the CAS, then use whatever findings in court to deny visitation in future... They most likly won't take the child from you, because if you refused court ordered visitation you could goto jail... Now, on the other hand if their is no court ordered visitation, and you have soal custody, you can make motions ( in most courts ) to deny any contact by the father...Look CAS up before you report www.casmt.on.ca ... Get your facts ready before you act...


Best to you, and good luck
Rich and THE EMPTY NEST, I MISS MY BUG BUG!!

Have you thought about a restraining order? If you get a restraining order for both you and your children he will not be able to threaten you anymore. You need proof that you or your children are at risk. Its what I had to do.