Here is the situation. I have full physical custody because he defaulted on the opportunity to get otherwise. He keeps on saying that he is going to take me to court, but that day I don't see happening. I allow him to take her for the weekend about once every 2-3 months (that is the only time that he asks), and visits about 2 days a week. He now lives 3 hours from me, and I am seriously considering moving to Florida from Michigan. Can he stop me? I am planning on moving there to attend college and go to medical school. I have also been considering making the investment in buying condo's and renting them out. He says that he won't let me go, but isn't there any way that I can work around that? Is it true that if you have a good enough reason to leave that you can? And if so, how would visitation work?

Depends on the divorce agreement/judgement/whatever. There may be a clause in there that states he must have 'reasonable access' or some words to that effect that translate to you can't move far enough away so that he has go to an unusual amount of difficulty to see the child. I'd talk to your lawyer there.

I just learned about this in the "Children of Seperation & Divorce" class that I had to take to finalize my custody orders.

What I learned is that you can move out of state. What will happen, is you file to go back to court to change the visitation based on you moving. He can contest the move, and you will both have to show good cause of both sides. Get what I mean?

Growing up my parents were always in differnt states after their divorce. For as long as I can remember, the holidays were every other (Thanksgiving w/ my Mom then Christmas w/ my Dad - when I spent Christmas break with my Dad it was usually the whole break. Then the following year, it would be the other way around.) Summers, I went and stayed with my Dad for 6 weeks. Your schedule may be the same way. I don't know how old your child is, but if he/she is younger then he may not get the 6 weeks in the summer - that'll come when he/she gets older.

I would talk to a lawyer about it all. Good luck!

My lawyer at first thought I had to petition the court, but in the end in MA I did not have to as there was nothing saying I couldn't do it in the papers. He did write up a consent for my ex to sign just to cover my butt.... but in all reality I could have moved a lot further away from him IN Mass than I am away from him being in Maine... it is only an hour and a half an hour-fortyfive... I could have moved 2-3 hrs away in the same state and he'd not have been able to do a thing about it. He still has to pay child support according to income.

I got divorced in NJ 2 years ago. I have full custody of my kids, their mother didn't contest that. I moved to PA a year ago. I had it put in my divorce that I could move to any state I wanted to at any time, in return I had to let my ex claim one kid on her taxes. I guess that showed where her priorities were... Anyway in NJ at least, the parent with residential custody can move out of state as long as it's a for a good cause. It's up to to the non-custodial to constest the move and they would have to show that the move would be harmful to the child. From what I understand the court almost always rules for the custodial parent in these cases. I didn't even have to go through any of that because I had planned for it ahead of time.

Hi M of A, I'm currently going through a relocation divorce in MA. I'm trying to move back to the west coast.

Do you have joint legal custody with the father? If so, he does have a say in whether or not you can move out of state.

Have you read the MI state laws on relocation/removal? I'd google it and check out what the statutes say. Usually the custodial parent has to show that it is in the best interest of the child.

Also, this fairly new and can be used as a means to give the father more contact with the child and I'm using it as an argument for maintaining contact between the father and our daughter. It's called virtual visitation. Check out www.internetvisitation.org.

The father's groups don't like it because they say you can't hug a computer but it does give them daily visual/voice contact with the child. In my case I'm offering this as a form of continued contact but not as a replacement of actual visitation time.

If you want to PM me please do so and I can go into further detail about what I've been through so far.

My divorce is going to trial because of the relocation issue. Hopefully I'll find out this friday when the trial date will be; it's been 15 months since I was blindsided by his adultery and other stuff that I don't want to go into right now. But suffice it to say that I think I have a really good reason to want to be closer to my family and friends.

There are alot of long distance parenting plans available on the web. If you want I can give you some URL's to check out or books to read that would help you formulate the parenting plan. I don't have time right now to go into detail because I'm trying to get ready to go to court on friday but would like to help you if I can.

Good luck.

Hi.
My situation is a little confusing. I am still going through court. I asked for full physical custody, and joint legal custody. When he was served with the papers for that and the child support, he had so many days to respond and lets say that they are way overdue. He is not arguing the child support but not the custody. He lives 3 hours away now and comes here to visit her twice a week. He has only had her twice for the weekends and I really think that it is to try to make me miss her and get back together with him, because still almost a year later that is ALL he talks about. I am over it, just as I am over living in Michigan. When I mentioned that I want to move, he said "There is no way I am leting you take her that far away from me. I will never get to see her". I don't know what his intentions are, I feel as if it is more to keep me around.

I believe that I understand your situation. I'm going through the same thing except the father is playing "disneyland dad" right now to make his case as to why I should not be allowed to move away. He already has his paramour, job, family and friends in this area whereas I have none of the above.

What it comes down to is if you get sole physical custody with joint legal custody the father has a say in whether or not you can move. Or at least that is the case in most states.

Your attorney should be working with you to develop your case for relocation/removal. This will most likely lead you to a trial (if the father does not consent to the move) to have a judge decide whether or not you can move. But you must know what you have to prove this to the courts as the custodial parent to allow you to relocate.

Remember divorce is not about the emotions - it's all about business and the laws of your specific state. If you're having emotions about getting back together with him then it clouds your perception to make logical decisions about you and your child's future.

I've actually had no contact with the father since he left us 15 months ago. I will only deal with him through my attorney. Again I've got some good reasons for doing this and won't air my dirty laundry right now.

I've had to put my emotions on hold to build my case for relocation. If you know in your heart that moving to FL is in the best interest of your child then you should put the emotions on the back burner and present a case to the judge that will allow you to do so.

The father of my daughter is adamant about making sure that I'm not allowed to relocate because he knows that it would leave me isolated from family and friends. I don't think he could care less one way or another whether he sees his daughter on a regular basis. This statement is based on my observations over the last 15 months of his actions towards his daughter. It's all about getting back at me because I finally stood up to him and stopped the abuse.

I'll end here. I hope that this makes it a little clearer to you that you have certain rights and you need to determine whether or not to exercise them or not. I've spent many sleepless hours trying to determine if relocating with my daughter would irreversibly harm her in any way.