I know I don't post often, but I read tons and get lots out of everyones posts here. But after yesturday, I just dont know who to talk to since everyone around me doesn't understand.
Yesturday was a long hard day to get through. We had a hearing and pre-trial, and spent more hours at a court repoters office. (The soon to be ex and I. For now I'll call him devil spawn)

He has not filed a financial avidavid (sp?) with the court, breached our marriage seperation agreement (MSA) and took advantage of me.

We had a hearing and pre-trial all in one yesturday, and the judge ordered him to pay the rest of my attorney fees untill the divorce is final. Basically that's all the came out of it.

Then we had to meet for his lawyer to take my deposistion (agian, not sure if I spelled right). Of course now devil spawn wants to make and agreement and settle. So I thought ok, I'll talk. (Why in the world, I dunno! I am so mad at myself!)
We spend 3-4 hours "talking" between the two of us and to our lawyers. He knows how I feel about him and everything and he took advantage of my feelings and ended up with just about everything! I didn't realize it untill after we left. My lawyer was there and was trying to lead me the right way, and Devil Spawn was in my head and I ended up doing what he wanted instead of getting what I am entitled to! :angry:
He completely took advange of me and twisted me around.
Now it's probably set and there's nothing I can do.
How in the world did I let him do that to me?
No papers have been signed, but I don't know what is going to happen. And I know that the judge has the final say, but really, is that going to effect anything.
My parents keep saying that I need to let it go and dont let it bother me, but they haven't been divorce and it's so much easier said than done.
I could really write a book, but it would keep saying the same thing over and over again.
I get the kids, only because he doesn't want to raise them. He has spend all day here with nothing to do (at least that's what I see) and he saw the kids only a few hours. He lives 6.5 hrs away. So it's not like the kids get to see him often.
I know our divorce isn't final untill it goes infront of the judge, but I am just so sick over it.
If you got this far into my whining, thanks for listening. I'm not sure I feel anybetter by writing this all down, but maybe someone here can help me. I am drowning.

Tammmy please don't feel you are whining. I do my share of posting that is pity partying...I'm due to post one tonight!LOL This is what this site is for...to complain about our hardships.

On to the issue. It's hard to let it go. I've never been thru a divcore but would imagine it's hard and full of emtions. I know when I was left by my two kid's fathers it was emtional and painful. My mom and stepdad say let my daughters father go he's a jerk. Well they have no idea b/c the did not go thru it. My mom wanted to leave my dad and my stepdad left his xwife yrs ago. You never know someones life uless you walk a mile in that person's shoes. So feel your emotions and be whatever you want. It sounds like you derserve it. At least you have your kids and they love you endlessly.

To for him to get everythig...not fair! It seems like he took advantage you and rushed you into something you had no idea of what was going one. Please don't think it was b/c you were not paying attention or something. I know I was left by my Xs w/my head spining, heart broken and still trying to figure out what the heck happend. I think I still feel that way w/my daughter's father!L

I really don't have advice just wanted to let you know that it happens to the best of us.

So at least try to smile and enjoy what you did get your kids.

:huggies:

Sweetheart I have no great words of wisdom other than sorry and vent away. Hugs Gail

Tammy,
Nothing is signed, right? He has been ordered to pay all your fees until the divorce is final, right? Well, simple (I think).. go back on what you agreed to. Get what is rightfully yours and the kids. Don't let him get away with this. If necessary .. then go before the judge to decide. Tell your attorney that was not the best situation for you to make rational decisions and you never want to be in that situation again. Now that you have had time to think it over rationally, you do not agree to: A. B. C.
Be specific in what you want and need for the children. Do not go back to your attorney empty handed and say it just wasn't fairand you have changed your mind. BE ASSERTIVE GIRL!

Thanks so much! I have had a lot of time to think about it, and I am going to call my attorney tomorrow. Nothing has been signed or anything close to it.
After this weekend, I know that I will never be able to trust him again with these things. (The kids yes, but not my life, kwim?)
I also have realized what he is truely capable of and what he will do to get it. I believe I can really stop feeling sorry for him and learn to not love him when making my decisions.
He looking out for #1, and why shouldn't I, especially when I have to look out for the 2 most important people in my life as well....my two kids.
When at church today and then doing some praying, I feel so empowered and will taking my plans to my attorney.
I will post after I talk to my attorney and let you know what happens.

Thanks so much for listening to me, and to Carla for saying exactly how I was starting to feel today.