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"Active Board Parent"
At A loss for Words - NOT!
Posted
Does anyone have any experience getting a temporary order changed. The one that I got stuck with in Aug doesn't cover holidays, vacations, taxes, and leaves me at the mercy of my ex, it also has no time frame for expireing and she is delaying us ever getting into court to get the divorce finalized. I would really appreciate any advice on this. I feel like my whole life is being held hostage.
Thanks in advance!
 
Posts: 1699 | Location: Iowa | Registered: 15 November 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
"Parent on Board"
Forum Board? No- KeyBoard!
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Most TPO's have a time limit Dali, to change one you have to go to the TPO office and probly see the judge. My wife tryed to modify one though, she didn't have much luck. The systems varys state to state so call ahead. TPO's are the most missused things in the legal system, my ex lied her bottom off to get one.
 
Posts: 2667 | Location: Reno, NV | Registered: 16 October 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
"Active Board Parent"
At A loss for Words - NOT!
Posted Hide Post
This is a temp court order for custody, visitation, and child support that is all it covers. And it has no time limit on it. If it did I would not be so worried.
 
Posts: 1699 | Location: Iowa | Registered: 15 November 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
"Parent on Board"
Forum Board? No- KeyBoard!
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interesting, the temp I had was only good for 3 months, they figure you can get preceding going by then.
 
Posts: 2667 | Location: Reno, NV | Registered: 16 October 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
On the Board
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Okay I'm going to ask some questions about the Temp. CO (court order) that you currently have.

1. Have you set a date for a pretial conference?
2. Do you have a lawyer?
3. If so that lawyer needs to file a motion for
you to change custody based on the best
interest of the child (just to get the ball
rolling again).
4. Was there a custody evaluation that was
performed and if so did the evaluator give
you any specific recommendations as to time
frames for visitation evolution?
5. If no custody evaluation was performed this
is all up to your lawyer to file a motion
to change the circumstances of custody,
visitation and child support to fit the
current status quo.

Dali, if you want pm me (I've spent $145k so far) just to protect my daughter from a bad situation.

I hope this helps. If you don't have a lawyer and are pro se then I could possibly help with online research for your state (isn't it Iowa?) to determine what your next step would be with the courts.
 
Posts: 70 | Location: MA | Registered: 02 December 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
"Parent on Board"
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Posted Hide Post
 
Posts: 2667 | Location: Reno, NV | Registered: 16 October 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
"Active Board Parent"
At A loss for Words - NOT!
Posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by supplied01:
[qb] Okay I'm going to ask some questions about the Temp. CO (court order) that you currently have.

1. Have you set a date for a pretial conference?
2. Do you have a lawyer?
3. If so that lawyer needs to file a motion for
you to change custody based on the best
interest of the child (just to get the ball
rolling again).
4. Was there a custody evaluation that was
performed and if so did the evaluator give
you any specific recommendations as to time
frames for visitation evolution?
5. If no custody evaluation was performed this
is all up to your lawyer to file a motion
to change the circumstances of custody,
visitation and child support to fit the
current status quo.

Dali, if you want pm me (I've spent $145k so far) just to protect my daughter from a bad situation.

I hope this helps. If you don't have a lawyer and are pro se then I could possibly help with online research for your state (isn't it Iowa?) to determine what your next step would be with the courts. [/qb]
Pretrial is over, got no where
Yes I have an attorney
An Eval cost 10k I have no money left, had to put the attorney on my moms credit card. I got left with all the bills. And I have 3 other kids.
I will ask my attorney about these things. Thanks
 
Posts: 1699 | Location: Iowa | Registered: 15 November 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
On the Board
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Do you mean that "Pretrial is over, got no where" you had a hearing before a judge and he didn't give you a divorce or a trial date?

There should have been some ruling at the time of the Pretrial as to my understanding of Family Court proceedings. What was the specific wording from the outcome of the Pretrial?

Yeah, aren't evals fun. Mine was $12k and the opposition is trying to open it up again because the evaluation came out in August, 2005 and they think that there is more to be said. Pooh I say no way. Let's get this done.

I may be way off base with my comments but your lawyer should be advocating for you to complete your divorce and settle the custody, visitation, child support and asset division. If you're out of money will he allow you to set up a pay by month contract? Or have you already signed a contract that requires a retainer to fund any further proceedings?
 
Posts: 70 | Location: MA | Registered: 02 December 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
"Active Board Parent"
At A loss for Words - NOT!
Posted Hide Post
"Do you mean that "Pretrial is over, got no where" you had a hearing before a judge and he didn't give you a divorce or a trial date?"

That is correct, he ordered mediation, and I set it up for the begining of Jan and she fired the mediator, supposedly for being rude. And now she wants me to go to a mediator that she knows thru a friend, and I am not going to someone who may not be neutral.

I am on a pay by month, but the longer it drags out the harder it is on me. I only make about 30k a year, she makes 40k + 10k in child support from me and her first husband. Who do you think benifits from draging it out. She thinks she can break me finacially. Well she has but she can't break my parents and I will owe them big time, but that is the only thing keeping this from her getting everything.
 
Posts: 1699 | Location: Iowa | Registered: 15 November 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
"I can't afford to go to heaven!"
Lively & Zealous Parent
Posted Hide Post
Dali sorry I have no advice but just wanted to say I hope things work out for the best for you. It would be a perfect world if our Xs out be nice about these things.

GOOD LUCK

SPIRIT
 
Posts: 665 | Location: Vermont | Registered: 11 December 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
On the Board
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Dali, sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. Had my own "forestfire" to put out this last week.

Okay you're in a failed/stalled mediation situation. I have no experience with mediation - my case is a relocation one and will go to trial no matter what.

So, may I make a few suggestions:

1. Post your concerns and questions at: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/forum/
I've been a lurker on their board for a year and they give good sound advice for free; alot of it from lawyers.

2. Also you can get free legal advice here:
http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=106
This guy Socrateaser is an attorney that gives free advice - can't beat that.

3. When you finished your pretrial conference (PTC) and decided to mediate didn't the judge give a specific time frame for the mediation to be completed? If not you want to speak to your lawyer about what motion needs to be filed to get the process started again so that you can finish.

4. Another thing I've read about mediation when people can't agree at mediation is that one party sets in motion the movement towards a trial. Sometimes this will get the other party to negotiate but it is a risky move and could cost alot of $$$.

All that being said I try to get as many educated opinions as possible before I make a move. It can't hurt and in the end the final desicion is still up to you.

Hope this helps and doesn't just stir the pot for you.
 
Posts: 70 | Location: MA | Registered: 02 December 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
"Parent on Board"
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the second one is a very interesting site, I may use it my self when I get a few days to write something up.
 
Posts: 2667 | Location: Reno, NV | Registered: 16 October 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
"Active Board Parent"
At A loss for Words - NOT!
Posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by supplied01:
[qb] Dali, sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. Had my own "forestfire" to put out this last week.

Okay you're in a failed/stalled mediation situation. I have no experience with mediation - my case is a relocation one and will go to trial no matter what.

So, may I make a few suggestions:

1. Post your concerns and questions at: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/forum/
I've been a lurker on their board for a year and they give good sound advice for free; alot of it from lawyers.

2. Also you can get free legal advice here:
http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topics&forum=106
This guy Socrateaser is an attorney that gives free advice - can't beat that.

3. When you finished your pretrial conference (PTC) and decided to mediate didn't the judge give a specific time frame for the mediation to be completed? If not you want to speak to your lawyer about what motion needs to be filed to get the process started again so that you can finish.

4. Another thing I've read about mediation when people can't agree at mediation is that one party sets in motion the movement towards a trial. Sometimes this will get the other party to negotiate but it is a risky move and could cost alot of $$$.

All that being said I try to get as many educated opinions as possible before I make a move. It can't hurt and in the end the final desicion is still up to you.

Hope this helps and doesn't just stir the pot for you. [/qb]
#3 the judge did ordered mediation, but did not set a date for mediation, specifically said he would not set a trial date until we had been to mediation.

I would rather go to trial, as mediation will only delay the final outcome.
 
Posts: 1699 | Location: Iowa | Registered: 15 November 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
On the Board
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Well, from your last post it looks like it's time for the judge to set the trial date as long as you feel that you have good evidence that mediation is simply not going to work in your case.

Get your lawyer off his bum and get him to file a motion for a trial date so you can get on with your life.

Boy isn't this stuff fun....not!
 
Posts: 70 | Location: MA | Registered: 02 December 2005Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Learning to Surf The Board
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dali-
it is great your parents are so supportive!
 
Posts: 12 | Location: Chicago,IL | Registered: 21 October 2007Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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