I have posted a major concern of mine and really respect and look forward to the great advice i get. However, for some reason I am disappointed and feel like no one really cares. Maybe my post was unclear in what I was trying to say, but i really need some advice. I am scared out of my mind.
My concern is that my baby's father (who has seen my son only once--- and that was during the paternity test that he wanted, to buy himself a little more time to not pay support) is now going to be spiteful and not let us move. I have applied to an accelerated nursing program in Atlanta, GA and I live in MIch. If I get in will I be able to go. My son is almost six months old and he still has not called to see him. I am afraid that I'll get a crazy judge who is overzealous about parenting time even if it isn't deserved and will mopst likely be detremental to my son. I am so concerned that just because he has to pay child support now, he will want to "punish" me by saying that he wants to be an active father. There is more to the story. And i firmly believe in fathers parenting time, but niot in this case. IF he does say that we can't leave the state, what do I do then?

Em, I haven't been around much lately.

Has he made any effort to see your son? Would he be of danger to your son?

I can't imagine that the judge would tell you, you can't leave the state if this man has made no attempt to be a father to your baby. If that happens, are there other schools in MI that you can attend?

None of us can say one way or the other what the judge will determine. Do you have an attorney? If so, what has he/she advised?

I understand you being scared out of your mind as you say. All this time he hasn't contributed at all and now the possibility that his influence may break a decision you have made to move.

My thoughts and prayers will be with you.

Is the court date set? Have you heard from him?

The court date is set for this Thursday. I have already made the decision to not bring Jonah. I don't want his "ghetto logic" getting in the way. Jonah is beautiful in and out and I don't want him all of a sudden saying "Gee judge, thats my seed. I made that. I want to be a good dad." Those are just words. Nothing good has ever come from that man, except for my son. He does have a drug problem, at least he did when we were together. He also has a feloneous assault against one of his other baby's moms. (there are now 3 of us) That was a long time ago, but i think the courts can dig it up. Thank you for posting. I really needed someone to talk to.

And no he hasn't called even though he got the results back WEEKS ago.

Do you think I need a lawyer at this point? I can't afford one until I get my tax returns back.

Emily,
I am sorry you did not get the response you were looking for. No one can tell what any judge is going to say but, if he has made no attempt, then I can't see a judge making you stay. The largest factor is going to be the well being of the child. Such as:
Will his life be better if you move or will it strictly a latteral move?
Will this cause a burden on the visitation of the child and his father? Again, he has made no attempt in the same city.
Will you have the support from family and friends, and the financial support you need?
Is the neighborhood you will be moving better than you can get now?
Are the schools and daycare better?

Many of these things are factors the judge will consider. The past indescretions of your ex will rarely be allowed to come up in court unless they directly pertain to the case. Example: my ex has another daughter he has never paid child support to or had visitation, he also has several police reports banning him from businesses for his anger problems but, I was not alowed to bring these up because it has no relevance to my case. Never mind it helps to see what his mind set is. Never mind he has displayed this same type of abusive anger towards me and my daughter but, it was not documented.

Keep your thoughts clear and prepare to explain to the judge how this move would benefit the life of your son. I would say yes to having a lawyer but, at this point he or she will not really be up to speed properly on your case issues.

I think you are right in 'not' taking Jonah with you.

I haven't been through this before, Sweetie. I don't know all the answers but am here for you. Does this hearing specifically address your desire to move? Or also visitation in general?

Have you prepared for the hearing? Take as much documentation to support your request that he not be involved or interfere with your move. Once you have everything, make notes and offer the references (documentation) to the judge. Be confident. Be prepared and optimistic and you may not feel so anxious.

Have you contacted any attorneys in attempt to find one that has free consultation or low fees? Or one that may waive the fee until you get your return? Typically, attorneys have experience with this. You only have a few days until the hearing so you may not have enough time. Not sure if they can request a continuance.

I often hear about revisitation or appeals.. If the judge determines you cannot leave, at that point can you hire an attorney and have the issue revisited or appealed? (I don't have much experience with the courts..)

Thank you both so much for responding. I have contacted the prosecuting attorneys office a few times and spoken with the court rep. She said that I don't have to take Jonah and this is a court date where he either signs the affadavit of parentage or doesn't. I don't know if he even has to. He might not. I can't tell you how relieved I would be if he opted not to. I am keeping my fingers crossed and preaying for the best outcome. She offered him to come in the office and sign it the same day she called him with the results he so wanted to become negative. He stuttered I guess from what she told me and asked him if he wanted the weekend to mull it over. He said yes. That was weeks ago and he still hasn't signed it. So as far as the courts are concerned now he is the father and has a financial responsibility but doesn't have any paternal rights until he signs that paper. I guess he got married a few months ago so I'm hoping his wife will influence him to not sign them and just **** it up and paty the support so they can get on with their life. I hope i hope. I'm not calling him to tell him what I want. I know he will do the exact opposite of what I want. I hope he thinks that all I want is him and to "own his life" so he doesn't pursue a very liberal amount of visitation. This si how backward this man is. I have in no way kept Jonah from him, but I am not going to chase him down and try to make him into somehting he is not. That was his mamas job.

btw CA your daughter is gorgeous. watch out

Carla's pretty good looking too

Hi Emily,

I'm from Wisconsin, and I had a reverse of this issue several years ago.

The father of my kids moved to SC without any notice. I actually found out from the Child Support Agency. He had no job, schooling, etc. that made him "have to go".

In Wisconsin, if you have an "obligation" (Work relocation, School, Emergency Family situation) that causes you to move 150 miles from your child or other parent, there is nothing that can be done. (Again - In WI)

As I said, my ex did not. I could have had him picked up and thrown in jail immediately. Instead, I agreed to give him 15 days to find employment. If he didn't he would have been arrested for not following the court order, and failure to support his children.

In my case it worked for the best. For your case, I suggest calling your Local CS agency to get some clarification on MI laws. Your caseworker there can be a great resource, or get you in touch with some legal services.

I wish you and your baby the BEST for your future!

Emily,
Thank you for the compliment about Evie. She is becoming more beautiful every day.

Mr. B, thank you kind sir.

Emily,
I wanted to reiterate the necessity for making the issues all about your son when you go to court. The issue of you moving may not even be allowed because that is not the issue on the docket, is it? If not and he takes you to court over the move, you have time to get an attorney. Be prepared anyway incase the judge allows the issue to be discussed.

Hi emily

I did send you a message about getting a lawyer. Good luck on your court day. There is some lawyers out there that are willing to help not just a money grab.. Believe it or not.. Ihad a great one. Mean as heck but did not take **** from the other side..
Lawyers do take monthly payments.. Just ask around your town/city to find out information before you retain one..The first one I went to was an idiot. The second one was highly recommended buy I was told that you pay for the best. I was freaking out the whole year about my bill. Guess what? It ended up being a quarter of what I thought it would be..
You are trying to better yourself as a single mom and I think the judge would look into that.. If you were moving for the sake of moving, that is a different story..
A good lawyer is a good start though..

well, i hope the judge will see that it is a move to better myself. Applying to a school in a different state has a definate point to it what with us living in michigan having the HIGHEST unemployment rate in the country. I don't know if I can argue that to the judge or not. Seeing as he is an employee of the government he might not like the sound of it. It is just more reaqlistic that i get an education elsewhere where i can get a job that will pay me better where i don't have to work 40 plus hours a week and go to school and raise an infant. Its just basic math that makes it more logical that i go somewhere else with a better economy, which atlanta has. OY i should have moved before the baby was even born.

If he, the dad, doesn't care if I move, can the courts say i can't even if he doesn't care?????