Im a mother of two boys, 4 & 5. me & my ex have been split up for 3 yrs. we have joint custidy, but he has not had them for nomore than 2 weeks all together, im glad he doesnt because he has a bad drug habbit. i tried to tell them that in court, but they would not do a drug test on him. last yr his sister finally had him put in rehab, they done a drug test & it showed u cocane.i had to go sighn up for assistance in getting assistance in getting grocerys last week, i had to sighn something trying to get him for child support. im afraid hes gonna start getting them so he doesnt have to pay. i dont want his money, i just want him to stay away, i have no money for a lawyer. im barely paying my bills. im trying so hard but it seems like the more i do, the more i fall. my son started crying today about his dad never spending time with him, what do i tell a 5 yr old?????? whats should or can i do about all this?? anybody know?

My five year old has learned on her own what her dad is like. I just try to not talk bad aboout him around her so she can form her own opinion. If her routine is not seeing her dad often, thats all she knows- if that makes sense. As far as the cp, check with your state enforcing agency- its free here in Illinois despite your income. All you can do for your five year old is show him the love and support you can give him and he will adapt eventually. Better yet, call you rex and have him explain it to him.

tearlostnomore82:

atwitsend gave very good advice, except the part about calling your ex to explain to your son why he never visits.

On one hand, you did not want him to be with your son because of his drug habit. On the other hand, your fretting because he never sees his son.

It is blessing he never sees your son if he is a drug abuser and does not care enough to visit. Your son will learn and work through the pain. Give him lots of love and don't talk about dad. If he brings it up, just tell him daddy has some problems in his life and that is why he never visits. The less negative things you say about dad the better, in my opinion, especially at that age.

DCSS does not get involved in visitation issues. They only handle monetary support issues. You would need to hire an attorney for visitation issues. If you represent yourself, you can address the court on the issue and tell the court your son is in danger if he visits with the father and then present documentary evidence and oral testimony under oath regarding his drug addictions.