My ex husband has repeatedly told my children horrible things about me(mom is a liar, my fault our marriage is over, takes all his money in child support, ect.). He` also starts fighting with me in front of my kids(9 and 4). At one time spit in my face. I usually just walk away because I don't want my boys upset but this past weekend my mom picked them up from his house and he said some horrible things to her, in front of my kids. I want to do something about this asap. My oldest child is now having some emotional problems and some school issues. Any advice or help would be appreciated. I have been divorced for 5 months and separated over a year, yet things are not calming down as I had hoped.

Do you have an attorney? If not, I recommend you get one. I think the less contact you have with him the better. Obviously, it's not good for your kids to witness these events. I would talk to a lawyer ASAP about what can be done to force him to stop this behavior in front of the kids--maybe parenting classes-maybe a third party to do the drop off/pick up. (other than your mother)

There are others on this site who have more experience with the legal/custodial side of things. For my part I will say I'm sorry things are bad for you right now. Welcome to SFV,

Spitting in your face is assault!!!!
At the very least I would ask for a neutral party arrangement for pickups and dropoffs.....like the local sheriff's office if possible, some do/some don't but anywhere neutral would be safer than at his house with this sort of thing going on.
I would also be asking for supervised visitation and parenting classes. So that he can maybe learn that it is most definitely not acceptable to do these sort of things and not good for the kids emotional well being to have it done in front of them. With supervised visitation it can be monitored and reported how he is interacting with the children and what sort of things he is telling them.

I agree with Don. You could charge him next time he does such a thing. There is no harm in asking the Friend of the Court for a neutral exchange point. There are some places that are specifically used for this, but I only know of them in my area.

I'm sorry to hear that things are not easier for you. I cant stand when people do that stuff to another person and it makes me even more mad when people do that stuff in front of their children. I have a friend whose ex is the same way.

Thanks so much for the advice. I am contacting the friend of the court today to see about a neutral drop off. I want to limit visitation, at least until he can control his anger and emotions but I am afraid my 9 year old would be angry with me. I feel like my hands are tied sometimes...it is so frustrating! I want to get on with my life!