Hi, I am a new member just seeking some advice. My sons father was brought to the US when he was two years old(18 years ago). He was recently deported back to his home country. Becuase my son is only two years old all im hearing from others is to marry him to be able to return, he is a good father but not spouse. I know there are many views on immigration but any advice would be appriciated.

I can tell you from a relatives experience that "IF" it can be proven that you married someone for immigration reasons...the government does frown on that, and may remove any Visas issued later.

Welcome Isaiahsmommy. Why was he deported? Did he commit a crime or was he undocumented from the start?

I personally would not judge your for doing what you have to do so your son's father could be a part of his life. That's a big step, though, and you could be penalized in the process.

What was the status of your relationship when he had to go back?

He was sent back becuase he was caught driving. We were on good friendly terms he had just moved out, but no where near marrige.The main problem was him not being able to work.I was unaware of his status here, he told me he was a citizen. I am just really confused.

Hmmm, driving how? Speeding, with weapons, drugs, what? And lies to you. He's got some character issues. My guess is you were considering whether at some point in the future he'd mature and you two would get married. Is that correct?

I know there are faith and moral questions here, but this would be a purely altruistic, business transaction to help him out. I'm not sure how it works, I don't think a person who is deported can come back for a while. As long as you did not go into it with the expectation that marriage will change him (he may still not even want to live with you)--and only believing that you are ensuring your child's father will be around--then that is the only hook I can see.

No one here can tell you yes or no. Do you believe marriage is sacred or not? Will your child really know his father if he remains in another country? Have you even spoken to him since? Has he even asked you if you would do it? You should be negotiating this with him and not any third party.

If you have a child together I doubt the gov people are going to be asking a lot of questions about the legitimacy of the marriage. May be you didn't get married before because you were maturing the relationship.

I've heard, and this may just be a rumor, that if a non-citizen has a child with an American and that child resides here that they have grounds to apply for a lifetime visa in order to be with that child.

From my own personal experience... marrying a non-citizen is not as easy as it appears in the movies. Long after my husband and I were married- we were attending interview like meetings and filling in forms. They are complicated and confusing. We had to pay people to help us... and then it only made my husband 'legal' for 10 years. It grants residency. (He was opposed to becoming a citizen of the US however- so we didn't look into that.)

Only because you asked for advice- I would say... try to get him back into the country with marriage, and then make him a US citizen. But use a lawyer and have at least several thousands in the bank. (You will have to act as a sponsor- stating you can 'pay' for this person to be in the US and they will not be working illegally...) If you decide to divorce at some point- make sure he has gone through the steps to become a citizen and it is a done deal... (I do not know about this process... but I do know that our divorce had a negative impact on his residency... maybe even negating everything we had worked for 5 years to obtain for him.)

Good luck.