My son's dad has known my intent to move, with my son, back up near my mother for a long time, and said that it was ok with him. I'm working on my associates, and want to complete my bachelors up there, so I'm not exactly sure when it will be.

Does anyone know if it would hold up in court if I got him to sign a document stating that he knew about it, for when the time comes? I'm afraid he'll pull an " I had no idea" and have the court legally force me to come back, because he's been pulling some shady stuff lately.

Right now, he wants to take a paternity test, even though he signed a voluntary acknowledgement of paternity already. (paternity has been established and they are getting ready to serve him for child support)Should I tell him he needs to sign the paper, or no paternity test?

The test isn't an issue- he is the father, no doubt, but without the deal, he probably wouldn't sign, and I want to cover my bases, in case he pulls some funny business down the line.

If he does agree to sign, do wwe need to do it in front of a notary, or will his signature be enough?

I can't emphasize this enough...DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, everything you say and do. I know that sounds tedious and tiresome, but it beats all.

Do you have a court order establishing custody? I know before I make a move anywhere, I have to give a 60 day written notice. Which still allows him room and time to take me to court to only have the JUDGE tell him that I have every right to move to another state (city). Trust me, he's tried it.

All I've read on here today, well lately, is the SPITEFULNESS of the absent parent. Dang, LIG (let it go) the trials of the past people, and let's move on with our lives (speaking of those holding grudges and taking the custodial parent to court for NOTHING). I know some are saying, "What you feel is small, means everything to me." But hold that thought, that's not true when the other parents behavior is clearly disrupting the welfare of the child, plus the added stress and cost of the custodial parent. I'm not saying that everyone's story doesn't warrant the courts intervention, however, I'm reading some pretty ridiculous reasons FOR TYING UP PARENTS IN COURT. I have a job that requires me to be there, not to mention, bills to pay (child care for that matter).

JMHO...

Good Luck to you luv. I hope you can get him to go ahead and sign a statement allowing you to better your future. Sad to say, that you may have to find him in a good mood to go as far as the notary, if that.

All4Mine,

My ex literally forced me to sign a paper in front of a notary giving him 50% custody when we split before he would let me have my son. When I left, he physically kept me from taking my baby, and rather than get in a tug-of-war over him, I told him that I was too miserable to stay with him another night, and crying so hard I had to pull over two blocks later, I left my baby with him. Two days later, I came back to get my son, and he had this paper written up. My son was not there, and he told me I had to sign the paper if I wanted to get him back. So I signed the paper and for the next year, I follwed what it said. When I took him to court the first time, I was told that, even tho it was signed in front of a notary, the paper was meaningless. I could have, at any time, gone against the "custody" that was established, and had no consequence. That would have been much better to know way back after I had signed it, because I would have just kept my baby and never let him take him. Anyway, fast forward to last year. Up to his old tricks, dad presents me with a paper to sign. Now keeping in mind dad was ALWAYS coming up with papers for me to sign (he's kinds dumb, he is very paranoid so he would make me sign these papers if I let him go to dads an extra day or something.) Anyway, he gives me the paper and, being slightly annoyed at his stupid obsession with these papers, I signed it. Later I found out that he had gone and given himself an extra day every week, not just the one extra day I had agreed on. Anyway (I've told this story before) I should have known better than to sign the paper. Once again, he used the fear I have of him to intimidate me to follow what the paper said, and every week he goes off to dads on Thursdays instead of Fridays. I don't know if that all made sense, but what I am getting at is, I asked my lawer how much standing he has with this paper, and he told me this: If the paper has not been officially filed with the court documents, he has NO hold over me. Well, I checked, its not filed. So he has this paper with my name, but since he was too lazy to file it, it's useless to him now, a year later. We go back to court in 6 weeks, and I will walk away with blair going to dads on Fridays again, if not more, because I already know the judge will tell him to stop being a jerk and follow the court order custody.

So, the whole point of that ramble is this, if you want to get him to follow a signed document, you should do these things: Get him to sign it in front of a notary if possible, they will stamp and date it for you to make it slightly more offical (not much, but a little) Then file it in the court and send him a copy of the court stamped form certified mail and keep the receipt. When you file it they will have a form you can send with it that states that what you are sending is an offical part of your court documents. This is the only way you can get it to stand up in court. Hope this helps.

Notarized documents have NO standing in California courts whatsoever. In most states, any child-affecting agreement must be looked over by the judge - who rules in the child's best interests.

Some states are going through a lot of changes with regards to move-aways, including California (Navarro vs LaMusga) and New York (Aylsworth vs Marks). Lets just hope your ex doesn't file against you when you move.