Ok so by now most of you know that my husband passed away last year so I shouldn't have to have any coustody battles but I got "served" yesterday.I am still in shock just the thought that someone could try to take my kids is just paralizing so hear is as much info as I can give unless I write a book.
8 years ago when I became pregnate with our first child I remember saying something like "at least we have alot of family to babysit my mom,your mom aunts and such." my husband got very upset and said his mother could never be trusted with a baby. Over the years I found more and more why not as she is addicted to prescription medication, it an alcholic, has stolen from us my mother her brother and has been in jail for theft, and I am 99% sure she has been a mental instution at least once. I have seen her do some horriable things in front of her children. So she has NEVER been alone with my children. Over the years my husband wanted to cut all ties with her several times, but i always felt sorry for her because she has no one as her family cut ties years ago,I also felt she had some kind of condition that maybe I could convince her to get help.She would get upset with my husband and I for not trusting her w the kids and I'd tell her outright you have done these things and that is why. She didn't like it but it is just the way it was. When my husband passed away she started alot of trouble for me one of the things she did was Start a fight with me on the morning of the funeral, then she actually stole the food that people had brought for us, She told people not to give me any money that she was paying for the funeral(i paid every cent... well still am paying)Then she started telling everyone who would listen lies about my husband and I and that I was mean to him and we were getting a divorce anyway. even though I and everyone else knew it was all lies i was very upset. So I told her I didn't want to see/speak to her again. I arranged for her to see the kids in my home and my sister came to supervise. During one of these visits she was taking pictures of the inside of my house(not sure why) When Christmas came around I felt guilty so I started talking to her again.Untill about two months ago she started threatning to tell my oldest "that he didn't love me" if I didn't allow her to take the kids alone on top of that she had been stealing from my house again. After many harsh words I decided I just don't have the energy for this anymore I told her she was not welcome in my home and I'd make arrangments for her to see the kids supervised. She hadn't made any attempts to see them since. I had my oldest call and talk to her everyonce in a while and even let her know when her cheerleading games are and dance recitles in case she wanted to go..she didn't. So yesterday I get served papers. She is sewing me for coustody for my children. It is crazy There is no way they can give my kids to her for these reasons. #1 she lives in a tiny apartment that the state pays for. #2 she is so overweight she can barley walk let alone care for a 10 month old baby or little boy with disabilities.#3 SHES CRAZY. (sorry)
but my fear is that they will give her Grandparents rights which may be unsupervised visitation. Aside from the fact she can't possiably care for them esp.my son with autism. I fear the mental damage she may cause them.and especially that she may just leave with them as she has no ties to our area,no job friends family.
Has anyone been through something like this?Dose anyone have any advice on what do do and what type of information a judge will listen to. Can they pull her medical records to show shes been in hospitals for drugs and such? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Sounds like you need a lawyer and you need one now.

I'm sorry about your fight but you are in one.
If she is even half what you say she is there is no way she could win but why chance it.

get your self a lawyer and tell him/her everything you can about whats happen in your family with her.

Dawg

Hang in there Sugar,
I'm not really the one for advice in this area, but I know lots of the reguars on here should be able to help.

Just wait for the responses.

Praying for ya.

American law is somewhat different in canadian law to some degree...

while she won't have custody, to avoid her having unsupervised visit you will most likely need charactor witnesses that will speak about the grandma...the lawyer will be looking for those.
ONly a lawyer here, can pull medical records out with a court order to show somene is unfit..here it is tricky cause it is a pricacy act so great care has to be taken in court when condemning someone because of medication or mental illness...it is rare they do that here unless they need to prove an act of serious crime such as homocide...hopefully the laws in the u.s are different.

While the basics are the same, I don't think she will win. I had a similar issue with my mother years back, and there was no way she would win.

Safety is a big thing and hopefully they will prevent unsupervised visits from happening. With a good lawyer, it should be a breeze.It's not like your denying her access, all you want is to have them "supervised"....i don't see it being a huge request in court.

The other side of teh coin to watch out for is she may be accusing you of being an unfit mother which often happens in cases like these, but those have to be proven, so she will most likely lose her case.

I would try to fight for no visits..personallyu until the children are old enough.

I do not know the laws in your state but Michigan - grandparents have no rights! I am seeing that from your story this lady is flat out crazy and I dont think anyone would ever give her the right to have your children. You have ever right to tell her she can't be around, especially if she is negative.

GET AN ATTORNEY NOW!!! Does this woman have an attorney?

Thank you all for your support. I have contacted a lawyer and will be meeting with him on wednsday. Yes she does have a legal aid lawyer. and in PA unfortunatley there are Grandparents rights. I am sure there is no way she could even try to prove me unfit as I could come up with so many character references from church, parents of the kids in my daycare over the years and such. My biggest fear is will I be able to prove she is not fit to be alone with the kids. I do have her own brother who is willing to say in court the many things he has seen over the years Hopefully that will help.I am just worried it will be our word against hers. I have no idea how the court system works.
Also today I recieved more papers in the mail I am now being court orderd to go to classes for familys dealing with divorce or conflict. So now I dont only have to pay for a lawyer but I have to miss work for these silly classes. I can't help but to feel like I'm in the twilight zone or something!!
Does anyone know is it possiable or legal to pull up someones criminal history on the computer?
Just wanna say thanks again to everyone for their support.and for listening.

You should either be able to

A. call your county clerk's office and ask them if they have a website;

B. ask them if you can have copies of any and all files they have on someone, which you will need a Freedom of Information Request form to do

There are a number of People Search engines out there. They just take money, and you can find just about anything you want, if you are willing to pay for it.

try googling "people search" and you will see what I mean.

Dawg

I feel for you, I'm kind of in the same boat, dealing with grandparents with the only difference been that my ex is still alive but suffered brain damaged in a car accident and the grandparents make her sign all the papers without understanding.
I find my self spending a lot of money, getting checked on a national database for *** offenders and a lot of humiliating things, they are just fishing for something wrong with me to see if they can win custody, and the court doesn't even care the condition of the mother, they are just coming after me. I also need to prove the unfitness of the mother, I fired my lawyer because he wasn't doing his job so I need to hire another one so I can request medical records, etc.
I don't have a problem with family visiting my daughter, the thing is that we live in TX and they live in CA so they don't want to come, they want to force me to take her. I'd like to keep in touch with you so we can compare notes on dealing with grandparents.
Good luck
Adrian

Hi,
I haven't heard of grandparents right before I read your story. I got a little worried. So I did some searching and found a web site that has very good info and info state by state.
http://www.enotes.com/everyday-law-encyclopedia/grandparents-rights
I hope it helps.

I would also like to have supervised visitaton for my ex-inlaws. They would never intentionally hurt my children but they are not the kind of people I want for role models for my children.

quote:

Originally posted by normajean-sugar:
Thank you all for your support. I have contacted a lawyer and will be meeting with him on wednsday. Yes she does have a legal aid lawyer. and in PA unfortunatley there are Grandparents rights. I am sure there is no way she could even try to prove me unfit as I could come up with so many character references from church, parents of the kids in my daycare over the years and such. My biggest fear is will I be able to prove she is not fit to be alone with the kids. I do have her own brother who is willing to say in court the many things he has seen over the years Hopefully that will help.I am just worried it will be our word against hers. I have no idea how the court system works.
Also today I recieved more papers in the mail I am now being court orderd to go to classes for familys dealing with divorce or conflict. So now I dont only have to pay for a lawyer but I have to miss work for these silly classes. I can't help but to feel like I'm in the twilight zone or something!!
Does anyone know is it possiable or legal to pull up someones criminal history on the computer?
Just wanna say thanks again to everyone for their support.and for listening.

Before you spend money on sites that may or may not be accurate, since you have a lawyer, you could ask him where are the good places to go ....he may even do it himself.

Thanks I did decide to wait to talk to him.

I am going tomorrow to see the lawyer. I am so nervous I don't know why. Everyone says I have Nothing to worry about but I can't help it. I worry she may try to pull something in court making up stuff. I worry the judge may let her alone with the kids and she'll take off with them. Also I don't even know what the right choice is for the kids regarding how often or not to let her see them. They have lost their Dad I don't know if it will hurt them to not let her see them at all and I don't want to make decisions out of anger I want to do whats best for them but I'm not sure what that is. Also I feel like they are my kids this is my life I should be able to say lets set it up for next friday not have to plan our life around a visitation schedule. I mean I am not divorced the kids and I have enough already to deal with,and I am sure she wasn't in the room when the kids were conceived. She wasn't fit to be a mother to her kids so why is it that she should have ANY kind of rights to ours. If my husband were here this would never have gotten this far.
I am sorry for ranting and sounding so bitter! My head is just spinning.

quote:

Originally posted by normajean-sugar:
... If my husband were here this would never have gotten this far.
I am sorry for ranting and sounding so bitter! My head is just spinning.

Thanks for listening. I'll let you know how the lawyer meeting goes tomorrow

Good luck!