My lawyer says what my ex does is just bad parenting,not abusive, and I can not deny visitation. The kids stay with their dad 2 days a week during summer and everyother weekend during school. He locks them out of the house to be alone with his live in girlfriend, feeds them only when he is hungry(many times once a day), they stay up as late as they want(10,12,14), no restrictions on internet, never applies sunblock( 12 yr old burns bad), refuses to stop smoking in the car with them(sorry to all you smokers), they have no bed of their own(sleep on couch,share a bed with girlfriends kids), he refuses to help with homework when the kids are with him,and has refused to pay for and pick up antibiotics when the kids were sick and staying with him.
The lawyer says I can be thrown in jail if I don't let them stay. They are happy(except for the eating and locking out) because they get to "do what ever they want"
How am I suppose to protect my kids?

I don't know if it will work, but the next time that you go before the judge talk to him/her about your concerns, maybe he/she can help set up some stipulations that your x must follow to beable to spend time with the kids.

Well, I am not sure if you can do a GAL, after a divorce, but you better be perfict if you do, or you will lose.

http://singleparentsnetwork.com/cgi-bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?/topic/3/336.html

It sounds like you need a mediator to meet with both you and your ex, and then have the mediator write a report with reccomendations regarding your ex's visitations to the court. The court has mediators (which they can refer to you) to do just that. If you have an individual therapist, that therapist might be willing to act as a mediator for you, too.

Is this your lawyer that told you that you could be thrown in jail if you didn't permit visitation with your ex? That is true if you withold your children from him over time (how much time that is will be up to the judge). However, your lawyer can also ask for your ex's visitation to be modified by the court to address some of your concerns.

I hope that helps some - good luck to you!

Our visitation schedule was written down by me while we were sitting on the front porch prior to our hearing. I had researched items that needed addressed like holidays, birthdays, school days, summer break for a schedule and reviewed these with him that day. up to that time he had agreed to stay active in the kids life, agreed they should stay with me, and agreed to 2 evenings a week during school and 2 nights a week during the summer. He had already moved to the next county and we had to move into an apartment.
The judge said the schedule was acceptable and did not add anything with the divorce decree. After the divorce my ex tried 2 evenings during school but didn't want to drive nor spend his time with them doing their homework and won't feed them supper. He then wanted them every weekend. I said no, and he now sees them everyother weekend. He is still permitted to see the kids during the week, by all means help me with football practice, band practice, writing competions, boyscouts and karate practice, but he doesn't want to pay for the gas. His idea was for me to drive them to or from his house. I said no. How do others deal with transportation issues for visitation?

I have that transportation costs are to be paid by their Dad written into the papers. I still drive half way down now that I've moved. He typically drives them all the way back. Sounds like mediation might be the right thing for you. I'm a little upset that your lawyer left it at that and didn't mention any other options/thought/etc.

quote:

Originally posted by SueP:
[qb] I have that transportation costs are to be paid by their Dad written into the papers. I still drive half way down now that I've moved. He typically drives them all the way back. Sounds like mediation might be the right thing for you. I'm a little upset that your lawyer left it at that and didn't mention any other options/thought/etc. [/qb]

Yes, you can still mediate to change things about your kids visitation even after your divorce. It sounds like you should if he's not doing what he agreed to do with the kids anyway.