I know that if I give him my last name SD will throw a fit. He's already saying he's going to fight me to try and get him 3 days/nights a week, what judge in their right mind would let the father of a breastfed infant have him 3 days/nights a week, that would make breastfeeding impossible. I'm just scared, he pretty much said he's going to fight me on this now, I shouldn't really be scared honestly because I know it will come out ok in the end, I don't see how the judge would grant his request? I showed him a state document that shows what they consider a good amount of time for the infant/child based on age and it states that for infants they are only to visit for a couple hours a couple times a week. I showed him this and he still says he's going to fight me on it, he says I'm being unreasonable (!!!) even though I proposed a plan that has him visiting 3 days a week instead of two and for several hours.. and overnights even before they recommend them, but no that's not good enough GRRRRR. Sorry to vent it's just that I'm so frustrated with the whole situation

I guess be ready for a nasty battle?

Take a deeeep breath and be confident in what you know and what is logical = ) Have faith that things will work out in your favor.

Is it possible that you could find a way to not allow him contact with you? Stress is definately not good when you are breastfeeding = (

When my daughter was born in California I had to sign an affidavit in order to be able to give her my last name and be listed on the birth certificate

Just a thought. Why would you want to prevent the father from seeing the birth of his son? I mean, he wants to be involved, let him be.
I'm not going to take his side because I don't know anything about him, but, just by looking here how many women complain about fathers not been involved makes me think that if yours want to be, you are a step ahead than many people here. The thing is, you can put a switch on/off on when you want him involved and when out of you life.
Another thing, if you are 100% sure that he is the father what's the point in contesting it? You said you wanted to be sure but you also said you are pretty mcu100% sure.

quote:

Originally posted by Adrian1trk:
When my daughter was born in California I had to sign an affidavit in order to be able to give her my last name and be listed on the birth certificate

That's strange. I live in Cali, and have had 3 daughters out of wedlock, 3 different mothers...and never had to sign anything except for the paternity stipulation after the fact, nothing at all for the birth certificate...they all have my last name. I know the figures are nothing to brag about, I did marry my oldest daughters mom afterwards but the point.....I never had to sign anything......

I do not know the law in Washington, but in Texas standard child visitation does not start until the child is 3 years old. The thinking behind that is that it is too difficult for a young child to have to go back and forth. Of course you can make an agreement in the orders to start visitation before that. Like I said, it is a different state law and I do not know yours. It has been proven medically that breast milk is better for the child so I am sure you will not have a problem. Especially since you BF your other 2 children (that shows that you are not wanting to do so just to keep the child away from the dad).
Like others have already said, you do not have to have the dad in the room with you when you have the baby. Even if you were married the father can not be in the room if the mother does not want him to be. That is standard privacy for medical care (I know this is correct because I am a paramedic).

To answer Adrian's question. Having a baby is very personal. It is also very stressful. I also had difficult deliveries with my 2 kids. In fact my second baby had to be born my C-section about 12 hours into labor. To be honest with you, for my first baby I really did not want my (at the time) husband in the room. That might have been because I had been in labor for a full 2 days, but still. This really has nothing to do with the father being involved in the baby's life. The father can be involved in the baby's life but wait in the waiting room while the birth takes place.

quote:

Originally posted by soulfirepoet:
I know that if I give him my last name SD will throw a fit. He's already saying he's going to fight me to try and get him 3 days/nights a week, what judge in their right mind would let the father of a breastfed infant have him 3 days/nights a week, that would make breastfeeding impossible. I'm just scared, he pretty much said he's going to fight me on this now, I shouldn't really be scared honestly because I know it will come out ok in the end, I don't see how the judge would grant his request? I showed him a state document that shows what they consider a good amount of time for the infant/child based on age and it states that for infants they are only to visit for a couple hours a couple times a week. I showed him this and he still says he's going to fight me on it, he says I'm being unreasonable (!!!) even though I proposed a plan that has him visiting 3 days a week instead of two and for several hours.. and overnights even before they recommend them, but no that's not good enough GRRRRR. Sorry to vent it's just that I'm so frustrated with the whole situation

He is acting like the baby is already a "possession" of his.......
He sounds extremely controlling. He is stressing you out when he should be doing everything to help make the pregnancy as smooth as possible (or else, stay away).
Don't feel you need to start jumping through hoops in order to accomodate him. Don't do it!

(Me personally, with a man like that, I would be very wary to put his name on the birth certificate just for my (our) own future protection.....).

All the best!

Here's some info about DNA testing....this is what AZ states it may be similiar with other states...

If the male in question turns out to be the father, he is responsible for paying for the DNA test. If he turns out not, the state pays for the cost.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!

I just typed about 2+ pages of text I selected it to copy it and instead
of hitting control c to copy I hit shift C and it wrote over everything! (((((((((

I wanted to update it's a long story I'll have to do it another time but he
was born Oct 4th, SD was not there, been a rollercoaster ride and I'm having
a very hard time with how things have proceeded. More later

Congrats on the birth of the baby. Sorry it is proving to be a hard time on the proceedings.......

congrats!! Good luck with everything