Hi everyone. I'm so glad SFV is back up and running again. I dont have much time since the baby is only going to be quiet for a few minutes. The freak is taking me back to court. He says he wants full custody of my daughter, and me only every other weekend. Yeah right. I tried this a couple of years ago, and learned that it doesnt really work that way. He writes on his motion, "Previous custody order continues without respect." Ha ha. Who is the one disrespecting? HIM!! These are the changes of circumstance in my daughters life that made him go for this motion. Transitioning to first grade. (Yeah, and she is going to transition into a new grade every year.) I'm unemployed. (Happens when you just have a baby.) Oh, and the birth of a "step-sibling" by another father. Amazing how I produced her a step sibling when I am her mother. He is just mad that I gave her a sibling when he cant. I just got a letter from the court that says he has to pay $70. filing fee. Ha ha. Then we can get a hearing date. I cant wait. Lets just get it over with. His feelings are going to get hurt. Maybe I shouldnt be so arrogant about this, but after two years of going through the courts I think I can see that just because he wants custody doesnt necessarily mean its going to happen. The best part is is that he just doesnt get what every one has been telling him. Cut it out and be civil for his daughters sake. What a chooch.
Nice to see everyone

What a chooch is right

How is the new baby???

Give them both hugs and hellos from here.

Your ex is insane and god help you I how he joins a cult and moves to the jungle.

The new baby is doing great. She's getting so big so fast!! She's almost 8 weeks, smiling and "talking" already.
Got more about the "freak". Back when I was lawyer shopping, I found one that I really liked. Told her the whole story, and she's shaking her head. Then we discovered that she had spoken to him a year earlier, and had quoted him a really high price because she didnt want to represent him. Ha ha. I couldnt use her then because conflict of interest. Well, now the therapist my daughter sees is seeing the light about him. Even she is getting drained by him. He is constantly calling her and demanding instant responses. He doesnt listen to any of her suggestions, and is refuses to see how he plays a part in how much stress and anxiety my daughter is under. She told me that he is looking for another lawyer. (I dont know if the one he has doesnt want to do this anymore, or if he's just trying to hire someone who will work harder at his case.) The therapist knows one of the ones he interviewed, and that lawyer told the therapist that she is not going to take his case. Doesnt want to represent him. Ha ha ha ha. Do you think he might get the picture yet??? He is a narcissist.
Do you know how many narcissists it takes to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the world has to revolve around him.

Sane i am glad to hear the baby is doing well and I hope you find a good lawyer to hun

I have a lawyer, but she is on maternity leave!! I'm also worried about having to go back to court next week, because I'm breast feeding. Do I take the baby to the court house with me? If I dont, and it takes forever, my breasts are going to explode.
This therapist wants to change the visitation schedule again, and is talking to me about it because I am the "sane" one. Ha ha. No, she said I am more reasonable. I think changing the scheduel again is not addressing the problem. Why dont they give him what he deserves, (nothing) for all the trouble he's caused? It just makes him think he can get away with anything because no one wants to deal with his mental problems. I want to throw my hands up. I'm tired.
BTW, Learning, hows the new living situation going?

HELP!!! Tomorrow I go back to court. The therapist had asked me what I thought about changing the visitation schedule, and I left her a message the other day saying that doing that is not addressing the problem.
She left me a message today saying that she is going to recommend to family relations that the schedule be changed so that she is in one household during the week, and then long weekends with the other parent. That one would be ME! My daughter has no problem with the way it is now. 5 days with me, then 5 with him. 2 days with me, then 2 with him. I explained this to the counselor and that my daughters anxiety increased when her fathers paranoia increased. She is not having nightmares with me, nor wetting her bed when she is with me. I feel like the therapist doesnt know what to do with him so lets just do something so it will be more gratifying to her that she's done SOMETHING. She's worked with the court before so I know they respect her opinion. I am not going to go for it. He wanted to bring this back to court, so... Lets go all the way and have a custody study. I cant believe this woman. What should I think? Will they really hold her opinion higher than mine? I'm the girls mother, I think I know whats best for my daughter. I see her a lot more than the therapist does. WTF? Any prayers sent my way will be greatly appreciated. I cant believe this nightmare that I just cant seem to wake up from.

As far as the Court holding the counselor's opinion higher than yours, it is a good possibility. She is an unbiased spectator in the whole thing the court will look at both you and your ex as people who are going after what is best for yourselves not for the child unless you can truly prove otherwise. This is only my opinion of what I had to deal with. But if you contest it, give good reasons as to why you are ocntesting it. Becuase at least in the state I live in the amount of child support that is to be recieved by the parent of primary residence directly corilates to the amount of days the minor child is in custody with the noncustodial parent. You want to prove that you don't want to change the custody beucase it will change the amount of money you will be recieving.

Sane - You know you have our prayers!!!


Please update us on how it goes.

Lila, I get no money from him. Now he is working full time, and I am not because I just had a baby.
Anyway, he made himself look stupid like he always does. I almost felt sorry for him. It was a long day in court. He keeps trying to say that he has been the primary care giver since birth. Yeah, right. Wait until they see the calenders I kept showing that I had her more than he did, and how I documented once that he said he was irritated because he had her for a 24 hour stretch. He'll see.
The letter the therapist sent was not favorable for him. The judge who is very fair, appointed a GAL for Sara, and we go back in two weeks. We both have to meet with him so he can make a decision if we are going to change the schedule around at all. Psycho wanted it changed right then, but GAL thought it best to keep things the way they are until he can get more facts. He is so stupid. In family relations he's reading off index cards that his girlfriend wrote up for him. The FR counselor said, "Put the cards down and tell me." Ha ha.
So more time in court. I think they might do the eval. Good, get it over with.
I felt a little down when I went in to court, but I had my baby's father and my mommy with me. I also remembered my request for prayers from SFV, and felt better. I really believe prayers work. So thank you. :thanks:

The truth will set you free. We went and met with the GAL, and the therapist at court today. I was so nervous. The GAL has talked to us all, and made his recommendation. He said what he recommends has always been approved. The freak gets my daughter 3 weekends a month!!! (He presented this motion to try to get custody of her, and me only every other weekend.)He was LIVID. He said, "I dont agree with this. Lets just leave it the way it is." The GAL said, "How two faced! You come into my office with this motion and now that its not going your way, you want to forget about it?" GAL said that there is no way my daughter would be so emotionally bonded with me unless I had been her caretaker. (the ex constantly accuses me of not being around, and that he has raised her since birth, even though I breast fed for a year.) GAL told him if he went in front of a judge with that attitude he would loose everything. He also said that if he does take this to court to fight over her, he is going to recommend sole custody to me. Freak is fit to be tied. He must have went home and ripped his house apart out of anger. I told him that he would reap what he sowed. God doesnt like ugly.
He also has to pay 75% of the GAL fee. He has been told before that his attitude will get him no where, I wonder if he gets it yet. The GAL said this is not about win or loose, its about whats best for the child. I still feel like he got his though. He went in confident that things would turn out the way he wanted, and I was nervous. When the GAL told us his recommendation, that all shifted. I was trying so hard not to smile. I know its my daughter who ultimately gets hurt, but still. Thats what he gets for not trying to be civil with me. Couldnt wait to post this, in case any one was interested.

Probably doesn't get it yet, if my guess is right.

You poor dear, to go thru this for you little girl while you've got a new cuddle-bug who needs all your attention.

And it sounds like your daughter isn't faring well for all this arguing over her.

It is fantastic that he opened his mouth and let the GAL really see what he's like. So fantastic when they hang themselves, and do it so completly. What a big sigh of relief for you.

quote:

Originally posted by Sunflower Central:
Probably doesn't get it yet, if my guess is right.

You poor dear, to go thru this for you little girl while you've got a new cuddle-bug who needs all your attention.

And it sounds like your daughter isn't faring well for all this arguing over her.

It is fantastic that he opened his mouth and let the GAL really see what he's like. So fantastic when they hang themselves, and do it so completly. What a big sigh of relief for you.

He hung himself quite well yesterday. I couldnt get a hold of my daughter last night, (me being the nice person I am asked that this not start until Mon.) I was sure he had taken off with her. I did eventually get a hold of her.
But, yeah! He couldnt let me have just a few months with the baby before he has to start. I think he's jealous that I had another baby. I gave my daughter a sister, and thats something he couldnt do. Hope all is going well for you too. I know you've been going through some mediations yourself in the recent past. It really stinks doesnt it?

Hey SaneOne glad to see u posting again. I sure wish things would settle for you finally and the ex would just stop causing more troubles. Best of luck to you. I hope the divorce is over soon!!