My ex quit his job and moved 1000 miles away. both states know he is working but they are not taking out child support for 3 months now. He testified that he had to quit and move to another state because he can not afford the cost of living because his child support is too high. He orders christmas gifts and such for them and has them shiped here on the total amount paid for order he has spent 600.00 plus about 40.00 was for my children. I know this man is getting money from somewhere. I know we can make it with out support but now the judge has ordered me to pay 37% of visitation. By the time the kids have gone to see him and came home we are talking like 500.00 out of my pocket. Since we do not have an out of state visitation plan i tell him i will pay 37% for him to come here until we can go back to court and get this settled. I make 800.00 a month as a family child care provider. I can't work outside of my home because the cost of childcare is out ragious. By the time i have a back up provider come and watch my clients and drive 5 hours to the air port it is so expensive. I just need to vent i am so tired of him getting away with this and i hate to sound negative but i know when we go back to court i will wind up getting screwed. I know they are sapposed to see him but he chose to leave. His wife makes like 80,000 a year so he doesn't need to work and the judge ruled to review child support in january because his income will have changed. I don't want to send them i have police reports where he would't let me have them back because i asked him to bring them to me because i ran out of gas( since he wasn't paying child support)He isn't paying support on his other child either. The state filed a report for that child but we are waiting on the judge to clarify back child support so they can't go after him for not paying for my children. how can i explain to the judge look he left so he wouldn't have to pay support how do i keep from looking bad im not bad for wanting him to support them. My fiance and i make enough to provide the nacesities. but i just feel he should be responsible what can i say to make the judge understand what is happening. i can't get a lawyer and he seems to have someone who types up his opening statements so he "sounds more professional" Then i get nervous and can't figure out what to tell the judge or not. I have written documentationa of all the times he has called in and forgotten to come get them, before he moved and i have documents of the threats he has made since he moved and the phone calls he has not called and talked to them. i also have documents and photos of a horrible rash my son had on his hands that his wife the nurse and himself didn't even treat. and he would give them medication and not even be able to tell me when how much what kind. My son fell in a pond when he was 4 becouse no one was watching him or his 2 year old sister during visitation luckily it was shallow and his dad heard him cry and went and got him. my son has adhd and is in counsiling weekly and monthly we go to the doctor to check his meds. My daughter has asthma and when she was on breathing treatments last year he just wanting to skip them for his weekend visitation. Would it be wrong or pety for me to bring this up when we go to court? i feel i shouldn't have to pay anything for visitation since he left my fiance and i make 26,000 a year which is barely enough to pay house payments. Thankfully i have my fiance and he supports us when my ex and i first seperated i could have moved somewhere closer to family and where i could afford to live. but i stayed here so he could be with his children.

I think you've written enough to help yourself. The best advice anyone can give you is somehow find a lawyer to express those words in the courtroom. You seem to have a strong case for some relief but you need a professional mouthpiece. Check in your area for legal clinics and paralegals. You may find their rates easier.

Hi,

I am a new member, single mom, and am experiencing a legal battle of my own.

I am from St. John's, Newfoundland, Canada and recently graduated from university with a social work degree. I have a six year old son who I have raised while comleting my degree, and his father has had access. Now, I am in a situation where I am unable to secure employment here in the province and want to relocate, as I have been offered work elsewhere, but my son's father is protesting. I am not denying access, I have offered very reasonable access. I just want the opportunity to provide a good life for my son. His father does not have any education, and is unable to hold down a permenant job. I worked hard to obtain this degree, and now carry a
$40, 000 student loan. I have been the one to sacrafice for my son, never him. I stayed up long nights with a sick child, and then went to school, I did the daycare pick ups, I did the doctors visits, etc, etc. I think this is crazy that the courts may or may not agree to allow me to leave for employment, and allow men to use the system as a way to control women. This man has stated many times that it is my fault I am in this position because I left him. Outrageous!!!I just want an opportunity to practice what I am trained to do and provide a good life for my son. Any comments??

Bella

i agree even here in the us non custodial parents can leave and custadial parents are sapposed to cater to them. my ex quit a state job and claims he still doesn't have a job where he moved 1000 miles away. while we were in the process of our divorce i had a chance to go live with family and go to school but he wouldn't let me move 80 miles away. Now i have made a life for my children here and i don't want to leave. He keeps threatening me to take me to court because i won't allow him to visit. I tell him he is more than welcome to come here and visit them because this is where the parenting plan was made and we don't have a new one. I am trying to find a lawyer because i wound up paying my ex two hundred dollars because the judge was an idiot and didn't read my child support change request. When he should have back dated it he only lowered my ex's support. I am so angry with him though I wasn't able to provide christmas for them this year but his "unemployed" stupid *#@ could afford to send a game boy and a leapster l-max both with a bunch of games. which i have priced and together they are almost the cost of one of his child support payments that he can't afford. Every one says well at least he is involved. He is only involved to torment me. It is not like he makes efforts with his children. Everything he does is something to try to get to me. He calls and trys to upset me but now it is old news I just hand the phone to my fiance when my ex starts to bother me and he tells him that if he wants to talk like that to someone to talk to him that way and my ex hangs up. Just do your best for your children if you genuinely feel something isn't safe don't do it. Keep your head up and don't let him get to you.