I am in an odd situation. I am 7 months pregnant and starting to worry about my financial situation. The father of my baby was killed in a boating accident in July. His family was unaware that we were dating and does not believe that this child could be his. When I contacted social security, they said that I would have to have certified letters from family members. His mother is not going to tell any other members in his family about the baby until paternity is proved. How can I assure that my baby begins to collect the SS to assist with childcare and medical expenses. I am sure that the father would have wanted the best for my daughter. His wife (who had left him for another man) will help and is being very supportive. However, she lost her daughter in the boating accident as well, and I'm not sure that asking for her help is good practice. What whould you all do?

Holy moly. First of all, it depends on where you live. In IL you can apply for a medical card for the baby. They will also pay for paternity test (or in this case grandparents tests). I would do whatever it takes to get your baby the $$. You will need it! As far as your boyfriends ex is concerned...that seems a little weird. But who knows right?

Hi Jayda,
As soon as the paternity test comes back and is posative you can file for SS. It is not hard to do. I would not ask the ex for help unless it is a last resort.
My husband pasted away early this year and I continued to pay child support to his ex wife to help maintain a good relationship. I wanted to make sure that I and grandparents could see the step kids. It did not work out and at the end of this month I am stopping support and putting the money into a seperate account for their future.
Point is you will get SS. His ex is really having a tough time and may not be able to be there for you all the time.
If you do not have insurance I would get the baby on medical ade and prove paternity A.S.A.P.
My prayers are with you.

Hi, Jayda. The best thing that you can do, is try to be as good of friends as you can with his wife.

Not only will it make the legal battle easier, but she may be a good support system for you.

If she willing to allow you in her life, you should do your best to become friends with her. Your children are related, you two may need each other.

I agree with leftover. Allowing the wife to help you may be a part of her healing as well.

Best thoughts to both of you.

Just don't bring up and financial issues to her.

No no no...Do not become friends with this woman. She lost her husband and daughter in a boating accident and may decide to fight for custody of her husband's newborn child....your child. Technically hers too by marriage. Willing to help..hmmmm...Doesn't sound good to me at all. Do what you have to do to prove paternity and collect SS but, leave his wife alone.

I understand from your post that she was his ex. Did they have other children? If you have got children who are half siblings, I would definitely try to maintain a relationship with her so that your child can know his/her siblings. The mother of my son’s half sister and I have a great relationship and not only does it mean my son is growing up with his sister but us Mum’s have been there for each other through some tough times. I know it does not work for every one but from my personal experience it is well worth the effort. She like you will be going through a really tough time and you may be able to be a support for each other. I am so sorry to hear you have lost the father of your child.
I would be more worried about his mother’s attitude. “His mother is not going to tell any other members in his family about the baby until paternity is proved” Will she help sort out the paternity? ……. you need to talk to a lawyer about getting tests done so as his estate can help out with his child’s upbringing.
Take care