My son has quit eating. Yesterday I had court dates and was pretty stressed. He didn't eat breakfast. He ate only part of his school lunch. He refused his after school snack at Daddy's. He wouldn't choose dinner at my house. He only ate an apple. This morning he wouldn't eat either.

Part of the issue is that I'm having trouble eating too. I'm stressed so it's hard to eat. Just can't bring myself to eat, I'm not hungry.

AT this point I'm not making a huge issue of it with him. The first thing I'm trying to do is eat more myself. Getting ready to go have lunch with him right now. That might have been part of the issue yesterday. I normally join him for school lunch. But since I was at court, I couldn't.

Any suggestions would be great.

Hey Charity~

I know sometimes we as parents don't want to eat and are busy around the house as we sit our children down to eat dinner together.

My children have always eaten but I felt they weren't eating enough. Well - sure enough - the lesson was quickly learned for me. They don't want to take the time to eat while being reminded by Mommy that there are many other things to do than sitting at the table.

I almost always sit down with them for dinner now. They eat well - almost always clearing their plates and we have time to talk about the day.

I've heard more times than once "they'll eat when they are hungry."

Oh Charity, it is so hard to wonder and worry about how adult matters are impacting children. I also don't eat when I'm stressed. I've lost 25 lbs since the beginning of March.

A collegue came into the office this morning and said...what are you trying to do to yourself. He didn't know much about what is going on...only that my ex left. I said what do you mean. He said, it's obvious that you are shrinking. I said, I eat but it's different now. I eat if I'm hungry rather than to dull the pain...a realization I recently came to myself.

Melissa is right, you'll set the example and he'll follow. Sometimes we have to work extra hard to hide stress from our children.

My Hannah quit trying to walk not long after her daddy left. She turns one tomorrow and still isn't really trying. Some days are better than others. I definately do think she is having a slight developmental setback because of the whole thing. The daycare staff is very understanding so that helps.

Is there a man at church who can talk to your son about how he may be feeling. That might also help.

I do eat dinner with the kids. And when I go have lunch with my son, I eat with him. We eat breakfast together. So, most days I'm eating three meals a day with him.

Today I got him to sit down and snack over dinner. I could only eat half of my dinner. He ate some carrots, and a few slices of peperonni. He did eat some food at lunch.

But he's always been a kid who survived on very little food. And talking with his Dad's side of the family, that is very normal. I was like that too when I was young.

Cindy, I am the same as you. I used to eat to dull the pain, but now I'm so stressed that my stomache is in knots. there is no food that sounds good. I couldn't even stand the thought of icecream right now.

Get this, the kids were just playing. They went and raided the oatmeal cookies! I didn't say anything. It's food. Not the best food value, but something is better than nothing. It's oatmeal.

Charity,

One he is probably stressed and two he may just not be hungry. He may not be going through a grow period and he is not hungry.

Evie is and has always been a very healthy eater but, during times of slow growth she will almost stop eating (by comparison) all together.

I don't worry too much about it as long as she is getting something within a specific group of foods. A good food example for those times is a smoothie. It is a treat to entice her but, I know it is a healthier alternative. I find during stressful times I will opt for the same thing. I will add protein powder and extra yogurt to the smoothie. They just go down easy and you can still get some nutrients. Another warm option is a soup in a cup. A little less like food in a cup.

I worry too when my kids don't eat but I have found that it is normal. I make sure they are not eating junk food to fill the belly. They soon start eating again and are fine. Sometimes I think they just get a little bug in there tummy and once gone they eat again. I know I have times of the month that I eat more than others. Just part of it. He will return to eating again soon.
Good bless.

Yep, yep, yep. You've said all the things I'm trying to tell myself. I guess the problem is that right now I'm fighting for custody, and it upsets me to have anything seem to be wrong with thekids. Thanks though for showing me there is nothing wrong, and I'm doing everyhing to make it easy.

I give my kids their morning vitamens. And since I have morning meds to take, they like to do it. Makes them fell like Mom.

Everything went you know where in a handbasket today.

Okay, I bribed my son into eating lunch today. I bought Pizza hut personal pan pizz and brought it up for lunch. He inhaled it. He ate it so quick he gave himself a stomache ache. But he ate, and I was happy.

After lunch I got a call from the Assitant Principal. She said he was removed from class. He was spitting at the other kids, and possibly even hit someone They tried to do office discipline, but he wouldn't be quiet. He wouldn't sit still, nothing. I came got him.

Now, my ex picks the kids up from school. They tried to get in touch with him. When I got home, I left a message.

He called me. Tells me, yes I talked with his teacher, did you know, he hasn't been eating at school, and he dumped his food on the floor today, and he's been hitting other kids? Yes, I know all of it, and no he didn't dump the food on the floor today. Then I had to listen to the lecture about why my son needs to eat.

You know what, he doesn't need to clean his plate every day. He is allowed to have days where he just picks at his food. The child eats his viatmen every day. I offer him something from every food group. But I don't force him to eat. Most days he eats at least something from each food group, though not every day.

I hate being chewed out by that man. He honestly believes that I don't know how to raise my kids.

It sounds like he is just as stressed as you are and that is perfectly normal. And the "Not eating" and hitting is how he is dealing with the divorce. I would try to find some outlets for him to get his anger out in a more healthy way.

You don't have to worry about what the teacher thinks though I know it can be soooo annoying when you feel judged by people! I would remind him of what you are all going through and tell him that any positive help he can give to your son at this time would be appreciated. That is a good way to shut his mouth.

I heard of a organization called Divorce Care and they meet in churches and they have one for kids. I think it would be excellent for your son. You can find a group in a church near you and it is free!
I encourage you to keep puttin' one foot in front of the other. You will make it and things do get better!
Take care,
Mary
If you can't manage that try finding a divorce book you can read to him.